My DGD had a birthday and we took her friends and the family to eat that night. After I dropped everyone off but her, we had a disturbing discussion. She and her friends were planning to leave out a girl "who likes to stalk" one of the other girls. It turns out the girl is in real trouble and I feel she is turning to the other girl because she needs a friend and their families used to live together. (2 single moms, I think.)
I said they needed to be nice and include the girl and my GD replied that she was a problem. "'All'", that teen word, "the other girls were calling her a W because she gave a boy a BJ. " Now the girl cuts herself because of the humiliation. and DGD said, "I told her, no offense, but you did bring this on yourself. You should have done what I do and told him no." Also, she is upset because the girl is terrible to her mom that DGD thinks is just so sweet and caring.
I have many years teaching early childhood and teens aren't my thing. I don't know exactly how we all survived my 3. With 2 senior year pregnancies and an unresolved problem with seizures that still aren't explained ten years later, I can give some advice, but this is way over my head.
My first thought was go to the school counselor because I don't know how my GD's mother will handle the situation of me asking her to notify the other mom of her daughters problem. I don't think they know each other since this a friend of a friend. My daughter suggested I have the mom tell the friend's mom and let her explain the daughter's problem to her friend.
What to you all think?
I don't think it is right for the boys to be asking the girls those kind of questions? Is it just my old-fashioned upbringing or how do you all feel about the schools telling kids to report that kind of solicitation.
There was an incident a few weeks back when my son's new girl-friend accidentally intercepted a text from a 16 year old boy to my DGD and she freaked out when she learned DGD was texting someone she didn't know. She told my son who didn't know what to do with GF demanding he search DGD phone for messages so he called her mom to handle it. DGD was furious and cried for 2 days over them not trusting her to know not to talk to him other than to ask how he got her number and who he was. She looked him up on-line and saw he was a local student and thought that would end it, but she didn't want anyone searching her phone. She, also, was afraid her dad might hunt the boy down as crazy as his GF got over it.
GF had the phone because hers died and DGD let her have it. She, also, is 28 and was a wild child as a teen. Her daughter is only 4 so she is new to dealing with these issues, but she is usually the cool person in DGD's life. This was their first problem in about a year of dad's dating her.
Thanks for any advice.