Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My Son... heading down the wrong path

Posted by on May. 14, 2013 at 2:01 PM
  • 5 Replies

I'm struggling with my son right now..... he has had a rough high school life with getting into trouble, his parents getting a divorce.... but this is his senior year and I thought we were more mature and starting to head in the right direction. He was supposed to join the Marines, and ship out date of July 25....well now that there is a girlfriend, who is a drop out and does not work, has no goals, in the picture... he is now saying that he does not want to join.

His ship out date got pushed back until Sept now because he is not where he needs to be physcially, and his recuritter is still willing to help.

My son has not one male role model except this recuritter... his father does not really have anything to do with my kids unless he can play some kind of guilt trip on them or make them feel sorry for him. My ex does not even have a job and will not get a job because he does not want to pay child support.

I'm afraid that my son will not join the Marines and I know this is what he needs to be a good man. I am just at a lost to what to do with this.... I explained to him yesterday that if when he graduates in 3 weeks, if he thinks that it is going to be about being on vacation - negative, he will get a job and pay room and board. The girlfriend is not moving in, he is not moving in with her... period. He will be 18 in 3 weeks also..... I'm afraid of what is going to happen

by on May. 14, 2013 at 2:01 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-5):
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on May. 14, 2013 at 2:17 PM
1 mom liked this

 Have you talked to his recruiter?  Perhaps that would help.  Also seeing how he is still a minor, limit the interactions he has with this girl.  Don't "forbid" it but also don't encourage it.  Your son needs to learn that he makes his own decisions though, and it's important that you learn this too.  It's not her that is causing the problem, it's his reaction to her.

drfink
by Emily on May. 14, 2013 at 3:12 PM

I agree with the limits you are putting for your home but once he is 18 and out of school how will you keep him from moving in with her?.I agree he should not and you shouldn't provide him with a penny if he does but how will you stop him?Has he discussed what his MOS will be.Is there something in what his job would be that will appeal to him.Does he see he and his gf together forever ?Maybe point out with a steady job and benefits it will help them plan out their future better ...she will fade away while he is in all his training and schools but let him think it will help him set up their future.

texasjen
by Member on May. 14, 2013 at 3:36 PM

We had a meeting with the recruiter yesterday....... and it was pretty much laid out on the line for him. I explained to him that I will not be able to provide transportation any more to see his GF due to the fact that it is just my income and my income alone that supports us. I also explained to him that they will not be "shacking" up at my house nor at the residence that she is at right now, because me and the home owner had that dicussion yesterday too (her grandfather) and he stated that he will not be moving in there either. So that would have been the only 2 places that they would have had an option to go to. His recruiter recommended to leave  the weekend for visits with the GF and use the week for training for the military. I also made statement that he will get a job and pay for room and board once graduation. He will not be living at my house all summer for free not doing anything. This whole situation has me very frustrated. And when you are 17, you think you know it all and dont want to listen to reason......

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 16, 2013 at 5:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you're taking the right steps in your update. Continue to stick to those things you outlined, and hopefully he'll come around. Good luck, and please continue to update us!

nikkichris612
by on May. 17, 2013 at 12:40 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with everyone's comments.  And I would stick to my guns with "tough love."  It's never easy, but telling him he either joins the military or he is out on his own with a job are his only 2 options.  No free pass.  17 is that really tough age where they are so close to becoming an "adult" and therefore can make all of their own choices....or so they think! But they are still so immature that they think they know better than anyone else, as you said.  Wishing you the best of luck.  I will be checking back for updates to see how you all are doing. :)

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)