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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Rejection

Posted by on May. 17, 2013 at 9:56 AM
  • 18 Replies

My son is in 7th grade, and I found out last night that they're having an end of year dance next week. DS asked the girl he likes, but she told him no. He's not going to ask anyone else since he likes only that one girl. He seemed to be handling it ok, but I could see the disappointment in his face.

I'm still so new at all of this stuff, and he hasn't even started dating yet. It made me wonder how you help your teens deal with rejection.

So how do you help your teen deal with rejection?

by on May. 17, 2013 at 9:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
leighp1
by on May. 17, 2013 at 9:58 AM

you are there for him if he wants to talk.  Let him know how special he is and that there is someone out there for him.  Besides that girl doesn't know what she is missing!! There isn't a lot you can do because we are the parent and we don't know anything.  LOL

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Wow, these middle school dances here no one ask girls or guys, they go and all hang out.
I just say it is a part of life and you gotta deal with ups and downs.
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Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on May. 17, 2013 at 10:03 AM
2 moms liked this
I would stress that he wouldn't be the only one there solo. Use it as a chance to get to know new people. He may find someone better ;)
Barabell
by Barbara on May. 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM

It's during the afternoon, so they all hang out either way. My son did "take a girl" to the winter dance...meaning he met her at a certain spot and they walked to the dance together. But he said most of his friend just hung out with each other instead of asking girls.

Quoting atlmom2:

Wow, these middle school dances here no one ask girls or guys, they go and all hang out.
I just say it is a part of life and you gotta deal with ups and downs.


Barabell
by Barbara on May. 17, 2013 at 10:11 AM

I always try to make it clear that I'm there for him. He just doesn't open up that much, and it frustrates me. I guess it's a normal teen thing. He actually asked her last week, and he didn't tell me until I read the flier about the dance last night.

He was acting up last week, and I laid into him last Saturday because of it. I've been wondering since last night if this issue of rejection is why he was acting out...whether he realizes it or not.

Quoting leighp1:

you are there for him if he wants to talk.  Let him know how special he is and that there is someone out there for him.  Besides that girl doesn't know what she is missing!! There isn't a lot you can do because we are the parent and we don't know anything.  LOL


luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:25 AM

Awe I don't know that you really can help them. I think it's something they just have to go through and figure out on their own.

drfink
by Emily on May. 17, 2013 at 1:39 PM
2 moms liked this

 Here the moodiness you described and for the same reason sounds familiar.He may or may not remember the girl turning him down but YOU always will...lol It is just something they...we...all go through .If I know I or my husband will try to something small extra with or for them....for the dances we would volunteer to pickup a couple of friends and go to someplace like IHOP afterwards...they think the going out afterward is soooo cool.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 17, 2013 at 2:03 PM


Quoting luckysevenwow:

Awe I don't know that you really can help them. I think it's something they just have to go through and figure out on their own.

That's kind of what I was thinking too. I just told him "I'm sorry" and reminded him that I'm there for him.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 17, 2013 at 2:09 PM


Quoting drfink:

 Here the moodiness you described and for the same reason sounds familiar.He may or may not remember the girl turning him down but YOU always will...lol It is just something they...we...all go through .If I know I or my husband will try to something small extra with or for them....for the dances we would volunteer to pickup a couple of friends and go to someplace like IHOP afterwards...they think the going out afterward is soooo cool.

I've noticed before that he doesn't always realize his moodiness relates to something that happened to him in his life. I've pointed it out to him before, and I think it's helped make him a little more aware. I'm not sure if it's a boy thing or just my son, but he doesn't seem to be as intuitive of his emotions as myself and my sisters were. Females are prevalent in both sides of my family, so I didn't grew up around a lot of boys. I have to rely on my husband a lot on what is normal for boys and what isn't!

I didn't think of doing something a little special for him. I think the dance ends at 4:30 (when I get off work), but I really like that suggestion. I'm already going to send him with some money that day. I should remind him that I'll pick him up from the local hang out spot if he wants, especially after the dance.

drfink
by Emily on May. 17, 2013 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting drfink:

 Here the moodiness you described and for the same reason sounds familiar.He may or may not remember the girl turning him down but YOU always will...lol It is just something they...we...all go through .If I know I or my husband will try to something small extra with or for them....for the dances we would volunteer to pickup a couple of friends and go to someplace like IHOP afterwards...they think the going out afterward is soooo cool.

I've noticed before that he doesn't always realize his moodiness relates to something that happened to him in his life. I've pointed it out to him before, and I think it's helped make him a little more aware. I'm not sure if it's a boy thing or just my son, but he doesn't seem to be as intuitive of his emotions as myself and my sisters were. Females are prevalent in both sides of my family, so I didn't grew up around a lot of boys. I have to rely on my husband a lot on what is normal for boys and what isn't!

I didn't think of doing something a little special for him. I think the dance ends at 4:30 (when I get off work), but I really like that suggestion. I'm already going to send him with some money that day. I should remind him that I'll pick him up from the local hang out spot if he wants, especially after the dance.

My parent divorced when I was ten...my dad completely bailed...so it was my sis ,me and my mom and my husband had five brothers so we were equally clueless LOL.For us it is definitely a guy thing.I realized this with our oldest ,he is 28 ,at first I thought I was screwing up on the momness that he didn't tell everything because I was screwing up.I wasn't close at all to my mom so I thought I was repeating that ,thank goodness not so. It is just their guy way but I have learned to notice the clues.Our daughter tells us most things or at least you know she is upset.

Our 6th grade only has daytime dances but 7th and 8th are 7:00 to 9:30 and like yours a dance date isn't a DATE.Our middle school only allowed one ticket to be purchased per person to keep the dating less.Even when my sons or daughter had a dance date they mostly hung with friends or they all danced at once and not necessarily in couples but groups. 

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