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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

teenagers and cutting

Posted by on May. 17, 2013 at 6:33 PM
  • 9 Replies

I just found out my Grandaughter has been cutting herslf, I need advice on how to handle this.HELP!

by on May. 17, 2013 at 6:33 PM
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Replies (1-9):
atlmom2
by Susie on May. 17, 2013 at 7:04 PM
Counseling
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MrsBLB
by Missi on May. 17, 2013 at 7:39 PM

I would get her in counseling as soon as possible to figure out why and get help.  Good luck and please keep us updated.  ((hugs))

Basicrose
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 9:52 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughter is a cutter. It's been really tough. Counseling is a really good idea. Also, i would recommend researching the topic. There is a program in Minnesota called DBT which is "Dialectical Behavior Therapy".  If you want to, check out this website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy.  One of the skills taught are 'distess tolerance' 'distact', 'self-soothe', 'radical acceptance', 'interpersonal effectiveness' and 'emotion regulation'.  They do have a teen version. Its definitely worth looking into.

 

amonkeymom
by on May. 18, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Definitely counseling.  She needs to understand the reasons behind her cutting behavior so that she can learn other ways of coping than cutting herself.

mumsy2three
by Shauna on May. 18, 2013 at 5:30 PM

Counselling.

nikkichris612
by on May. 18, 2013 at 5:41 PM

 Agreed. Counseling is your only resolve.  I am a licensed therapist and have worked with kids/teens for over a decade.  90% of my "cutter" patients are female, between the ages of 13 and 17.  They also all have two things in common: no coping skills and complete demand for attention.  It has been researched that most cutters are seeking attention to fill some type of void in their life.  In most cases they cut to STOP hurting, not to hurt themselves.  The DBT mentioned by another mom is used to create some form of coping skills.  Most teens won't open up to family about what is really bothering them.  That's why a counselor (third party) is your best scenario. Wishing you the best of luck.

mommersx4
by Member on May. 20, 2013 at 2:14 AM

My son is cutting and has burned himself. He sees a therapist every week. He is also doing some very risky things that I just found out about. I am a wreck. I only work part-time while he is in school and I dont know what I will do in the summer. 2 years of therapy has not helped much and we have changed therapist and he does seem to have a good relationship with her. I pray, I don't date, keep him with me as much as I can. His entire left arm has scars all over that are very obvious.

Ronda2012
by on May. 20, 2013 at 3:03 AM

Counseling, for sure. Also, talk to her. There are different reasons kids cut. Some do it for attention, some do it to feel something, some do it out of depression, some do it because there's so much pressure on them they want to alleviate it, then there are those who do it b/c it's a compulsion and they can't help it. It's important to figure out the underlying motivations/what's going on (A lot of problems at school? A lot of thoughts that bother her? etc.) So that the underlying condition can be treated.

marney.p
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:13 AM

I think you need to identify, which areas in life  she is feeling the most stressed by. If its home life. Then obviously something needs to change there. Family counselling. etc.

Or is she not coping at school? In that case I would sit down and look at the subjects that are causing her the most grief. And identify subjects she enjoys and does well at. I would then change around her program to suit this.

If it was me I would pull her out of school and home school. Online distance school. etc Developing her skills. And working one on one on any weaknesses.  During this time I would want her to see a counselor, do a creative subject, such as art. And join an out side the home group. Eg sporting group or hobby group.

Within one or two years If she has been stabalised then I would put her back in mainstream schooling.

And Im not a home schooler.

Good luck

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