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How would you handle it if your husband suggested the two of you get divorced so that you could live on public assistance, making the money burdens lighter in your relationship? What would you say or do? I think this question has probably been posed before, sorry if it's being redundant. Opinions, ladies?
by on May. 24, 2013 at 12:46 AM
Replies (11-20):
drfink
by Emily on May. 24, 2013 at 4:34 PM


Quoting daisykat:

It was such a shock. My first thought was, sure, we'll get divorced for the benefits but only if I get to move a boyfriend in with me you ass. He works full-time, I work 30 hours a week, and I don't want to quit my job. Not to mention it's a bad example to set for our sons. I'm irritated with him right now. It makes me feel like he cares more about money than doing the right thing.

In this case I would be very upset also.I mean after all there are many ,many illegal or deceptive or unsavory things any of us could do for more money...husbands also but we don't.As I said I would might consider if it was for food ...survival...for the kids but just for more no.You might ask him how he would feel about um ok something like web cam work and hey if you have or will have an 18 y.o. daughter maybe she could webcam for money.It is legal ,she would be legal and it's for money. SMH...Maybe he doesn't realize the path he would be heading down.

JC2223
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 4:36 PM

 I'd say no to his reasons then divorce him for thinking doing that would be okay...shows a true lack of character!

jojo_star
by on May. 24, 2013 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this

No. I wouldn't agree to that, and probably divorce him (for real) for being that kind of person.

MJP76
by on May. 24, 2013 at 7:48 PM

Yeah... That's welfare fraud at its finest. 

woodswalker
by Member on May. 24, 2013 at 7:57 PM

I wouldnt have to worry about that because I have a successful full time job.  I would be able to support me and my kids if he ever left, no problem. 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on May. 24, 2013 at 9:27 PM

I would contact a Psychologist... because my Dh would have to lose his mind to even suggest something so.....dishonest, conniving, selfish...the list goes on.   

I find the thought to be so disturbing, whats worse is that so many people feel it is acceptable to live that way.     I know of so many young people who do not get married for those exact reasons.  




daisykat
by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:31 AM
And the thing is, I don't know where he thinks HE would live. He wouldn't be able to live with the boys and I for me to get benefits, I think. I don't know how it works, but I think if you get caught you could go to jail or have to pay back the money, etc. Whatever. I'm over-thinking this, because this scenario will not happen. It's like, marriage is no big deal, just divorce for the money and then maybe one day, get married again. I half wonder if he's looking for an out. He seems to know how much in child support he would have to pay per month and how much in alimony he could end up paying. Hmmm...
Busymommy1975
by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:38 AM

What kind of example would that set for your children? That is the first thing that would make me scream NO!!! 

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on May. 25, 2013 at 11:08 AM

 I would be appalled. The suggest we both find 2nd jobs. We both have more pride than to ever abuse the system.

daisykat
by on May. 25, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Quoting lucky2Beeme:

 I would be appalled. The suggest we both find 2nd jobs. We both have more pride than to ever abuse the system.



He works long, crazy hours and brings home a good paycheck. He's not happy with what I'm earning right now, and I would earn more on PA. He doesn't get that that's not the point. I will find a second job, even if it means I'm not home with the kids as much. It's better for my self-worth. There's no reason why if we're married and paying the bills that we should do this just for the extra money. I'm explaining this to him later today. He expects an answer from me this afternoon concerning this. I can't believe this conversation is actually going to happen.

And just so everyone knows, I am NOT anti-PA. It serves an important role for people, particularly single moms. It's just that it's not necessary in this case and I have a hubby who thinks it's fine to abuse the system as long as you can make money. Money is his God.
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