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Please help! I don't know what to do anymore!!!!

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:46 AM
  • 12 Replies

 My dd just turned 13, she is a great child, doesn't talk back, doesn't have all these defiant moods...  Since school started everything else went to crap.  She hates school, she went from all A's and B's last year to all D's and F's this year.  I've tried talking to her, trying to explain why school is so important, I've tried listening to her, I really do want to understand, but all she ever says is 'I don't know... cuz I'm stupid... (tho I've told her a million times she's NOT stupid, she's very smart) and more crying and and saying she doesn't know.  And now, found food in her coat pockets, they were STUFFED with food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No wonder she's always complaining she's hungry!  I don't know what to do anymore.  Dh wants me to grab garbage bags and just start throwing stuff in her pig sty of a room.  Should be fun, since I broke my knee recently and its still immobilized...  Please help me, even if it's just words of encouragement...  Thank you in advance.

by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
k1kelley
by Member on May. 29, 2013 at 8:58 AM

What grade is she in this year? Did she change schools? I know for me 6th grade was a very hard transition and 9th grade wasn't much better. Good luck Momma and hugs!

bcauseimthemom
by Member on May. 29, 2013 at 9:48 AM

If your knee is imobilized, I am assuming that you are non weight bearing???  Are you on crutches??  If he wants it picked up, why doesn't he start doing it?? Better yet, when she gets home, give her the trash bags and tell her to get her butt to cleaning.  She is thirteen and a child. She does not make the rules in the house.....


Sounds like she may not being disciplined.... have you tried that?? Have you spoken with her too see what her issues are?

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on May. 29, 2013 at 10:01 AM
4 moms liked this

 Start with her Drs for a complete physical. Talk to her Dr about whats going on. Listen to his feedback.

queensweet
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this

(Hugs.) It is going to get better. I hope that you don't get offended by me suggesting counseling or therapy for her. Food being stuffed in her pocket as you already know is not a normal thing. It sounds like she is hoarding it. Does she have a lot of items stacked on top of items in her room also? I know that a counselor or therapist will be able to get to the bottom of things.

Hang in there, fellow mom.

Janeite
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said so I just wanted to say hang in there!

daisykat
by on May. 29, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Wait a sec- first of all, yeah, she needs to clean her room, but do you think maybe there's an eating disorder going on here? Bingeing and purging? She's going to need some counseling, methinks, to get to the bottom of why her self-esteem is plummeting. I think your Dh shouldn't be orchestrating solutions for this one, she's going to need her mom. Also, keep your eyes open for signs of abuse. Has she been around any males besides Dh lately? It could be any man, even a family member. I know I'm probably jumping the gun but it never hurts to be thorough. Take her out to lunch, just you and her, and talk to her. It may take her time to warm up but tell her that no matter what's happened or what she's done, no matter what anyone else has done, there will be no yelling, lecturing or anger. Just conversation and perhaps some solutions. Most important, tell her you love her and the mama bear in you will protect her and provide for her at all costs. (((HUGS)))
SugarrCane
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Yesterday at 1:37 PM
by Member on May. 29, 2013 at 4:56 PM

Maybe you could start helping her with her homework, studying for tests, etc. That, or she could get a tutor or after school homework help.

woodswalker
by Member on May. 29, 2013 at 5:41 PM

I would ask your pedi to recommend a therapist for her.

DropZoneMom
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:18 PM

I, too, think she needs to be evaluated by a pediatrician.   She may be struggling with an eating disorder....or bullying....or depression.    But the dramatic plunge in her grades and behavior is NOT just 'growing pains'.   You all need help -- you, your daughter, and your husband (who is obviously in denial).

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on May. 29, 2013 at 10:30 PM


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

 Start with her Drs for a complete physical. Talk to her Dr about whats going on. Listen to his feedback.

This!    Also, talk to her teachers and the school counselor..... gather info on what is happening at school, how does she interact with friends, classmates?   Why are her grades so low... is she missing assignments or getting low grades on them?  




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