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Do parents even try to parent anymore?! Vent of sorts...

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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Maybe it's my PMS or something but this topic has really been annoying me today.  I usually frequent the Advice for Moms board along with this one.  I mostly just read and "like" posts I agree with and comment from time to time.  It's seems like a common theme that there are parents with serious issues parenting they small children.  Here on the teen board is mostly dealing with teens with raging hormones and pushing limits and such.  They are on the cusp of adulthood so you kind of expect it to be a turbulent time at least sometimes. 

Then I read over on the other board parents freaking out because they can't control their one or two year old and all I can think is: You better get it together now because you are going to really be clueless in another 10 years if you don't.  Some of them truely seem like they don't have the first idea of how to raise a child.  I am far from perfect, believe me.  But I at least prepared for my kids.  I read books, parenting magazine, talked with my Dh on how were would handle different issues such as discipline.  It's like some of these Moms just thought lets have a few babies and just wing it!

Like I said I am not a perfect parent but when my children were small we had routines, discipline, rules, structure.  But, also tons of love and hugs and special time with Mom or Dad and praise for making good choices.  I was actually asked by a parent this year if my youngest DS6 was on the spectrum for autism because he never got in trouble in class and was quiet during instruction.  I was baffled at first.  Someone actually thought my child was special needs because he was taught to behave and be respectful.  After having lunch with him one day I could almost understand.  Some of the children were literally acting like animals. 

I have to wonder though is it just me?  Or do others see this trend too?

by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jun. 11, 2013 at 5:00 PM
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I am over there too. No, parents don't want to parent or be consistant. They wanna be friends and not parent. Not always, but a lot of the time.
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Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Someone actually refered to their 4 yr old as evil....really?!  I had days where my kiddos could be little monsters and I was very thankful for bedtime on those days but I could never think that of my child. 

JenniferLeighLu
by Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:14 PM
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I agree.  Something similar happened with my son in elementary school.  He never talked out of turn during school or got in trouble.  Then they had a presentation to do.  Every teacher he had over the years asked what happened to get him to talk.  They had never heard him say that many words!  He never shuts up at home so I didn't understand why they were so amazed!  Lol. He just didn't act like a crazed animal.  

Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:17 PM

That is the way my son is too.  With his friends away from school or at home he is a complete chatter box.  He is a little on the shy side but just mainly with adults. 



Quoting JenniferLeighLu:

I agree.  Something similar happened with my son in elementary school.  He never talked out of turn during school or got in trouble.  Then they had a presentation to do.  Every teacher he had over the years asked what happened to get him to talk.  They had never heard him say that many words!  He never shuts up at home so I didn't understand why they were so amazed!  Lol. He just didn't act like a crazed animal.  



luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:48 PM
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The problem isn't really with parenting but to much conflicting information out there. Don't do this, don't do that. Parent's are afraid to discipline because everyone is always looking over their shoulder. Spank, don't spank. Time outs, don't do time outs. 

Parents know their kids best and should parent their children how they feel is right, instead they are faced with contempt when they aren't doing it the 'right way'. WTH is that?

Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:59 PM

I guess I am very lucky in the fact that I had good, caring parents to be role models for me.  I don't mean to say that I agreed with all their parenting views but I did pick and choose those things I thought worked well and mirrored it with my own children.  I have seen it countless times at the store, school or EC activies with my own children other children behaving horrifically.  Their parents will be right there standing by them and act as if nothing is happening.  I was team Mom for my son's Tball team (ages 5-6) and I had one boy use some foul language and his mother thought it was hysterical.  My own son even said to me "Momma that boy is very naughty." 

Not_A_Native
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 10:34 PM
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No, people do NOT parent much anymore.  It's not that hard.  Read some books, figure out that raising kids has a GOAL - and figure out what you need to do to get there.  The goal is (or should be) to raise confident, competent, and independent ADULTS.  Not just to have fun.  Not just to study.  Not to parent younger kids.  But - it will include many things - having fun, studying, learning you have to do things you don't always want to do, puting work before play - and parents too often don't model these behaviors either.

sahlady
by Gold Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:23 PM
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i think this is a big one

Quoting atlmom2:

I am over there too. No, parents don't want to parent or be consistant. They wanna be friends and not parent. Not always, but a lot of the time.


sahlady
by Gold Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 11:24 PM

i have no idea about the post... but sarcasm is often mistaken on line.  I have called my kids evil in a tongue and cheek way.

Quoting Txlisa7969:

Someone actually refered to their 4 yr old as evil....really?!  I had days where my kiddos could be little monsters and I was very thankful for bedtime on those days but I could never think that of my child. 


bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:10 AM
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Yep I agree with you as well as agree with the lack of consistency and following through. Too many parents hand out threats the kids KNOW they will never follow up on
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