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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Boyfriends ugggg

Posted by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 6:58 PM
  • 18 Replies
My daughter is 14 soon to be 15. This boy started talking to her in fb and said he wanted to hang out etc. We told her he could come here, they could go to movies with an adult but she couldn't go anywhere with just him. He agreed to these conditions now he is constantly asking if he can come here, daily. My aunt said she's 14 she thinks once during week and once on weekend is enough.I agree. When he comes out here he complains that they can't be alone, her brother and sister won't leave them alone. Hello why do you think we won't let her go alone w him. He goes to all of my sons games which is 2-3 a week. They see each other then and usually once on weekend. He was mad cause she went swimming today and didnt ask him.

His sister told her she needs to not talk about the guys that are her friends cause he gets jealous. He is really starting to make me mad with his drama he acts like a girl!!!! How should we go about handling this? I haven't told her dad about the way he is acting cause he will flip out lol. He wants her to come to his house but only when his sister isn't home which makes me think his mom isn't either. Advice please.
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 6:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JenniferLeighLu
by Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:09 PM
1 mom liked this

My first reaction is a potential Lifetime movie...you know, where the BF is jealous and abusive.   I know they are young, but it can happen.  I'm having issues too entering the dating world with my almost 16 yo son.  My feeling is you have rules.  They need to respect them.  If the bf can't be respectful now..it will only get worse.  And the getting mad about her spending time without sent shivers up my spine.  My son was talking to a girl who was so dramatic and wouldn't let him do anything without having to text her every minute.  We had to set some rules.  Luckily, my son got sick of her.  I would sit them both down and explain your rules again.  And add that it doesn't matter if you like it or not.  It might help to talk to his parents to make sure you are on the same page.

Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:14 PM

If it were my daughter I would strongly suggest/advise her to kick this boy to the curb.  Your rules are very reasonable and similiar to the ones I use with my ODD.  He is jealous, controling and full of drama.  Not qualities you want in a boy associating with your daughter.  You could put the situations to her in this context and maybe she will "get it."  Tell her if it was here very best friend coming to her telling her their boyfriend was behaving this way what kind of advice would she give her?  Maybe it will help her to see this is NOT a healthy teen relationship.  And do not let her go over to his house unless you speak to his mother and get confirmation of her being present and them not being left alone. 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:29 PM

They are teens, acting like teens who aren't ready for relationships. When kids date to young they don't have the maturity to deal with things.

You can force them to break up, which will only make them want each other more, or you can continue with the way things are going, make DD a whole heck of a lot busier then she is and hope he will take the hint.

You're stuck. You've allowed it, it's hard to take it back once it happens.

rosboro5
by on Jun. 11, 2013 at 7:34 PM
He is a very respectful towards us and very polite. She just told me that he flipped out last night cause his brother added her on fb. She has kinda been making herself "busy". I have 2 other kids that have things they need to be at too I can't be running her around all the time. It seems like boys now days act more like girls then girls uggg
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jun. 12, 2013 at 3:11 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree, they are acting immature in the relationship because they are. They are very much showing they are too young to emotionally handle this.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

They are teens, acting like teens who aren't ready for relationships. When kids date to young they don't have the maturity to deal with things.

You can force them to break up, which will only make them want each other more, or you can continue with the way things are going, make DD a whole heck of a lot busier then she is and hope he will take the hint.

You're stuck. You've allowed it, it's hard to take it back once it happens.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jun. 12, 2013 at 6:42 PM


Quoting luckysevenwow:

They are teens, acting like teens who aren't ready for relationships. When kids date to young they don't have the maturity to deal with things.

You can force them to break up, which will only make them want each other more, or you can continue with the way things are going, make DD a whole heck of a lot busier then she is and hope he will take the hint.

You're stuck. You've allowed it, it's hard to take it back once it happens.

I agree.




GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 1:38 AM

I know exactly how you feel. My DD21 has just picked a "player" to 'go after'. I can stop her from going to the damn suburb he wants her to go to (dangerous suburb) but I can't actually stop her from meeting up with him. >.> it was so much easier at toddlers.

cat4458
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 5:05 AM

Yes, it's hard to unring a bell! 


Quoting luckysevenwow:

They are teens, acting like teens who aren't ready for relationships. When kids date to young they don't have the maturity to deal with things.

You can force them to break up, which will only make them want each other more, or you can continue with the way things are going, make DD a whole heck of a lot busier then she is and hope he will take the hint.

You're stuck. You've allowed it, it's hard to take it back once it happens.


 

Barabell
by Barbara on Jun. 13, 2013 at 9:44 AM

I can't tell if that's a red flag that he's too controlling or if he's just that immature. 

My only suggestion is to stick to the rules you've outlined and continue to have open talks with your daughter. It sounds like a bad relationship right now, so hopefully your daughter will dump him soon.

Quoting rosboro5:

He is a very respectful towards us and very polite. She just told me that he flipped out last night cause his brother added her on fb. She has kinda been making herself "busy". I have 2 other kids that have things they need to be at too I can't be running her around all the time. It seems like boys now days act more like girls then girls uggg


PurpleHazey
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:44 AM

To young for a boyfriend

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