DD17 has had a rough life in a way. I was 17 when she was born, her dad has been in and out of her life sometimes with 3 or more years between contact. She finally started up a good relationship with him and then he leaves her stepmom and their three kids for a woman that he has a 12 year old daughter with that no one knew about...so now she isnt speaking to him.
I married when she was 2 and had two daughters but my husband became abusive (to me, not the kids) so we left and moved in with my parents when she was about 5 (her sisters were 3 and 18 months). We lived with them for 3 years...I had an opportunity to start fresh so we moved about 3 hours away and after about 1.5-2 years, realized that the kids were better when we were near family. So, after moving back, I got a job and then a second job (the kids didnt like the schools in my parents area and neither did I) so the kids could go to the school they wanted and I could afford to live in that school zone. We have lived in this town for about 7 years now.
She has been sneaking around a LOT lately. She usually has an alibi but today she got caught and it was a big one. She has been leaving the house after DH and I leave in the morning to go to a guy friends house to "just hang out" or to go swimming with him. Turns out she has been doing this all week and some last week. She leaves the house to just go do whatever she wants with whoever she wants and she knows this isnt allowed. When I asked her why she was doing these things she said that she "didnt love us and we didnt love her so why should she care anymore?" Really???
She has been in trouble for breaking little rules left and right the past few months and today after I took her phone I found a text that tells me its been going on a lot longer than I thought. She has completely lost our trust now and I told her that right now she is grounded until further notice. All she gets is work, church and home. My mom has offered to let her stay with her for a while so that she wont be home alone and be tempted to do anything else and I am contemplating doing that.
I honestly am at a loss. She has been a great kid and I never would have expected that from her. I dont know what to do...do I send her to my moms to regroup and go from there? Do I keep her at home and her be mad and risk something happening that is worse?