Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Disengaged

Posted by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:05 PM
  • 10 Replies
I never thought I would say this, but I have disengaged with my son. When I talked to him yesterday on the phone he was rude with me after my husband said he perked up when asked if he wanted to talk to me. I even kept it light and easy talking to him. I told him his older brother bought a new car and said it's purple but I think it's pink (trying to get him to laugh) and asked him how his day was. He was rude the entire time. Today we had our family meeting and I was just pissed off with it. The case worker had the same conversation with him I have had hundreds of times. And she got the same answers I got hundreds of times: I don't know, maybe, I guess, etc. Then not even telling his father happy father's day after being reminded on Friday and Saturday and there are signs everywhere there about it. No I love you to him, nothing. He was just the same nasty little boy he's been all year. I have decided to walk away from it, let his dad handle it all. I can't deal with him right now and need to keep away from it. And you know what? I had a good day after I decided that! Am I a bad mom? Who knows, and at this point, I really don't care. It's about time I spend some time with my husband and daughters without having to sit here and constantly worry about him and remain stressed out the whole time.

by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:21 PM

I don't think you're a bad mom. And personally (although I know I'm going to get bashed by SOMEBODY for this) I think it will do you a great job if you go to florida without him. I think it's EXACTLY what the doctor ordered for you and the rest of the family. Is there a way maybe that you can ask them to keep him until you get back? Just so you can have a completely relaxing holiday? I know you said your mom was a tough one that didn't take any crap - but I would hate for him to hurt her or something :/

bizzeemom2717
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:06 AM
Hugs and hang in there. I know it has been so difficult for your family. Wish they had some answers for you guys.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jun. 17, 2013 at 7:54 AM

 We have no idea when he's getting out.  I guess we will have a better idea today when the psych sees him.  After that, he's got to go to the probation officer. So let's see what happens there.  They gave me a ton of material for my mom in case she has any problems.  THey don't want him in the system in her city (20 min away) they want him in this county.

Quoting GleekingOut:

I don't think you're a bad mom. And personally (although I know I'm going to get bashed by SOMEBODY for this) I think it will do you a great job if you go to florida without him. I think it's EXACTLY what the doctor ordered for you and the rest of the family. Is there a way maybe that you can ask them to keep him until you get back? Just so you can have a completely relaxing holiday? I know you said your mom was a tough one that didn't take any crap - but I would hate for him to hurt her or something :/

 

MrsBLB
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:04 AM

I don't think you're a bad mom.  Taking a step back is often a good thing.  Hugs to you.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:48 AM

You're stepping back and taking a break. He's in a safe and secure space there is not reason to not, refuel yourself. A good parent knows when to step back for a little bit.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Jun. 17, 2013 at 1:47 PM

 Thanks ladies.  Looks like they want to keep him for a good long time.  He was supposed to see the doc today but when the doc showed up he wasn't even IN THE WARD!  He was in the gym and instead of GOING AND GETTING HIM they just canceled.  WTH?  Time for me to take a nap.  The mental health services around here just boggle the mind.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jun. 17, 2013 at 7:16 PM

You are certainly NOT a bad Mom.    You are simply exhausted!!   I hope you and the family are able to relax and have some fun on vacation, you all deserve a break.




PurpleHazey
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:05 PM

Hugs, I just can't ind the right words to say to you.

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2013 at 12:56 AM

I don't think you're a bad mom for wanting to go. I'd just be worried if he's released while you're away, in case he does something truly stupid and harmful in that time.

Barabell
by Barbara on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:03 AM


Quoting MrsBLB:

I don't think you're a bad mom.  Taking a step back is often a good thing.  Hugs to you.

Great advice! I agree.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN