Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I being unreasonable?? (long)

Posted by   + Show Post

My son is going to be in 9th grade - high school - in the Fall.

He has been in band since 5th grade, and 7th/8th grade band was taught by the high school band teacher.

Once he hit 7th grade, we never knew WHAT was going on.  She never sent home information letters regarding performances, dress code for those performances, how early they should be there prior to a performance, she didn't even send home any info. about a band trip they were expected to take 2 hours away - on a Sunday.

Her excuse?  They're old enough to relay that information to the parents.

I do agree (though I taught band for 13 years - middle & high school - and my principal was furious if I didn't send home an info letter prior to EVERY concert and at least 2 weeks in advance), however if SHE doesn't give them the information - or the right information - it makes it a challenge.

Throughout this past year she has skipped his weekly lesson at least 40% of the time - verified by both my son and the other members of his lesson group.  She sits in her office and never comes out - or she's just not there.  Her concerts end up not being what was advertised, they last for HOURS because she makes them restart, and she's just overall really awful.

At the end of the year - like the last couple of days of school - my son came home and told me there was going to be a band camp the 1st week of summer vacation.  He didn't know what time, or where they were meeting.  Just that it was happening.

Here's where I want to know if I'm being unreasonable:

There was NOTHING in the newsletter about this, nothing in the automated phone system that other teachers use to alert parents to activities, nothing via email, no note sent home (of course).  My son texted some other band kids who said they *think* it starts at 8:00am.

So, I drop him off at 7:50.  He texts and says he can't get in the building.  Kids are mulling around, then some teacher stops by (not the band teacher) and says it starts at 9:30.  I go back to pick him up and they see her drive up (this is around 8:15).  So, they stay, and he's texting me now at 8:40 saying she hasn't even started yet.

Am I wrong to think this is INSANE??  She has provided NO information regarding this camp, start/end times, etc.  She's late - or not?? - who knows since no one is sure when it starts - and has them just hanging out while she does GOD KNOWS WHAT.  To me this is absolutely unacceptable and I'd like to write or call her and express my concerns over her lack of organization and planning.  What would you do?

by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Replies (21-29):
by Silver Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:46 AM

Go ABOVE the principal's head. Time to go to the school superintendent's office.

by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 8:21 AM

No you are not being unreasonable.  It sounds like this woman needs to find a new job.

by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 9:44 AM

I received very little from my childrens band teachers.

by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 9:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I would talk directly to the teacher if I were you.  Good luck

by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 10:23 AM

My son is in band and we know every single event/activity/practice that is scheduled. We are given the schedule in Sept for the entire school year.  They are great at his school. I would file a complaint, I agree with you - unacceptable. 

by Member on Jun. 19, 2013 at 7:53 PM
Mine are in band and we get weekly updates via email, plus there is an up to date website. This is both MS and HS, different directors. What you are experiencing in unacceptable and you should take to the superintendent or school board. Stopping a concert...that reflects poorly on her for not prepping them well.
by Kimberly on Jun. 19, 2013 at 8:14 PM

I would take the issue to the superintendent!    I find it ridiculous that in Middle School, the students are supposed to relay all info to the parents.   Especially if the student's participation, or lack of, affects his grade.   There should be a event calendar, and a school website where event info can be found.    The teacher is lazy and so is the principal....   take it to the superintendent.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 12:33 PM
1 mom liked this

She sounds nutters. I'd go up there and talk to her and find out wtf is going on. While she is correct to a point about them being old enough to convey information, she failed to actually provide the information. 

I was in band from 5th - 12th. My band director was organized and awesome. This one sounds so so terrible. She maybe doesn't even realize how badly she is screwing up what could be such an awesome experience.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 9:38 PM


As kind as you can, talk to her personally and offer her help to place an information of the kids events on line FOR ALL THE PARENTS!!!!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)