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Am I NUTS or Are They NUTS???

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My 17 year old daughter "Rose" is adopted and has ADHD and some other issues...she is about 2 years behind in maturity...her Boyfriend Jack has Bi-Polar issues, anger issues and ADD and is constantly in trouble with lying, behavioral problems and poor school work. Jack's mom is a single mom who at first I felt bad for with all she had to contend with, working and raising her two children on her own. Now I wonder about her...she seems to make rules and break them at a moments notice and is driving her son and my daughter nuts with it. I asked that Jack not go to my daughters place of work where she is working during the week as a camp counselor (as he was trying to do) and that my daughter needed to focus on her work Mon to Friday and was very busy with her group therapy, tennis and computer class. The mother is making it out like I am keeping them apart but she's ok with it and making my daughter angry at me. Meanwhile her son sits at home all day doing NOTHING and is flunking out of school. He has no summer job and no goals or activities. Next is my daughter's Best Friend "Carly" who I adore but has a wacko family situation where the dad had an affair, got the GF pregnant and left the wife to live with the pregnant GF. Carly's mother is depressed and suffers from anxiety and ADD. The mom thinks nothing of having my daughter sleep over even if it means coming over at 11:30 pm because they never sleep and are usually up till 2 pm easily. She also has her daughter not working this summer but sitting at home bored watching TV and on the computer 24/7. She has no set rules and her house looks like a bomb went off in it (like a hoarding alive episode)...I feel I have expectations and rules that are normal., ie., like your old enough to work or volunteer and not hang around on your butt, do chores around the house, take part in activities and sports, be with friends and family, go to bed at a reasonable hour and only see BF on weekends. I took away her phone for misusing it and returned it when she earned it back. So am I old fashioned? Out of touch? Or are these parents out of it???
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM
Replies (11-19):
Renihope
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:51 AM

 

This is what I was offened by...meant to include it

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Every parent does their parenting differently. The boyfriend, yep it doesn't matter whether or not you agree with his mom's parenting style, you need to do what you feel is best for your Dd.
As far as for the best friend. Just because they stay up late and the mom chooses to not require her kids to work doesn't make her a horrible parent. Sounds like she also went through a pretty terrible situation if her husband went out, got someone pregnant and left. I'm sure that's a TON to deal with, she's handling it in her own way, so judging that is crappy in my optinion. Worry about your own parenting and kids, it's what your sole/only responsibility is. If you don't feel confortable with her at the BFF house then don't let your kid go visit there.


 

MrsBLB
by Missi on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:54 AM

So do I.

Quoting Barabell:

I agree with this. 

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Every parent does their parenting differently. The boyfriend, yep it doesn't matter whether or not you agree with his mom's parenting style, you need to do what you feel is best for your Dd.
As far as for the best friend. Just because they stay up late and the mom chooses to not require her kids to work doesn't make her a horrible parent. Sounds like she also went through a pretty terrible situation if her husband went out, got someone pregnant and left. I'm sure that's a TON to deal with, she's handling it in her own way, so judging that is crappy in my optinion. Worry about your own parenting and kids, it's what your sole/only responsibility is. If you don't feel confortable with her at the BFF house then don't let your kid go visit there.



Renihope
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 9:54 AM

Every parent does their parenting differently. The boyfriend, yep it doesn't matter whether or not you agree with his mom's parenting style, you need to do what you feel is best for your Dd.
As far as for the best friend. Just because they stay up late and the mom chooses to not require her kids to work doesn't make her a horrible parent. Sounds like she also went through a pretty terrible situation if her husband went out, got someone pregnant and left. I'm sure that's a TON to deal with, she's handling it in her own way, so judging that is crappy in my optinion. Worry about your own parenting and kids, it's what your sole/only responsibility is. If you don't feel confortable with her at the BFF house then don't let your kid go visit there.

I was offended by this post....meant to include that...


bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:14 PM
Lol wow didnt mean to offend like you said you have a right to express your opinion I have a right to express mine. Of course we all have trials and tribulations in life that bring us to certain places. I still stand by what I said, I think you were sounding judgemental. Whether you intended to be or not, idk? Sometimes the truth hurts and pisses us off? Just MY opinion don't post in an open forum asking for feedback if you don't want honestly please. I am so over that. I was not disrespectful, did not call you names, you may need to re-think just WHY my worlds hit a nerve? Just sayin...

Quoting Renihope:

Every parent does their parenting differently. The boyfriend, yep it doesn't matter whether or not you agree with his mom's parenting style, you need to do what you feel is best for your Dd.
As far as for the best friend. Just because they stay up late and the mom chooses to not require her kids to work doesn't make her a horrible parent. Sounds like she also went through a pretty terrible situation if her husband went out, got someone pregnant and left. I'm sure that's a TON to deal with, she's handling it in her own way, so judging that is crappy in my optinion. Worry about your own parenting and kids, it's what your sole/only responsibility is. If you don't feel confortable with her at the BFF house then don't let your kid go visit there.


I was offended by this post....meant to include that...



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:14 PM
Lol wow didnt mean to offend like you said you have a right to express your opinion I have a right to express mine. Of course we all have trials and tribulations in life that bring us to certain places. I still stand by what I said, I think you were sounding judgemental. Whether you intended to be or not, idk? Sometimes the truth hurts and pisses us off? Just MY opinion don't post in an open forum asking for feedback if you don't want honestly please. I am so over that. I was not disrespectful, did not call you names, you may need to re-think just WHY my worlds hit a nerve? Just sayin...

Quoting Renihope:

Every parent does their parenting differently. The boyfriend, yep it doesn't matter whether or not you agree with his mom's parenting style, you need to do what you feel is best for your Dd.
As far as for the best friend. Just because they stay up late and the mom chooses to not require her kids to work doesn't make her a horrible parent. Sounds like she also went through a pretty terrible situation if her husband went out, got someone pregnant and left. I'm sure that's a TON to deal with, she's handling it in her own way, so judging that is crappy in my optinion. Worry about your own parenting and kids, it's what your sole/only responsibility is. If you don't feel confortable with her at the BFF house then don't let your kid go visit there.


I was offended by this post....meant to include that...



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Linagma03
by Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:27 PM

I think that they are out of touch. 

IamMex11
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 1:30 PM

they are nuts

Sweetmomoffive
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 3:39 PM

You are doing it right!! Good job!

nurse1997
by Member on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:30 PM

The oither parnets are crazy !

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