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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

I've had it with her lying and being sneaky!!!!!

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:09 AM
  • 7 Replies

OMG she is lucky that I found out after she left the house this morning and will be gone until 3 so that i Have a chance to calm down.  About a year ago i had alot of problems with my daughter lying to me.  Not just lying but being sneaky.   Things got much better and i was really starting to trust her again.  Then I found out new information about something she lied about but the incident happened many months ago.  I figured just because i found out about it now shouldnt erase all the trust she had built up.  Well this morning i go to log on to facebook from my laptop to tell her she forgot the book she was bringing back to school.  But it logged into her account and a message window was open.  She was meeting someone before school and he was going to walk her to the train. Something I have always allowed in the past.  why she thought all of a sudden I would have a problem with it is beyond me.  But she never told me,  apparently he was late and she was telling him he had to hurry becuase i was about to leave the house with my younger dd and bust her.  I'm not sure if her plan was to cut school which is rediculous because I wasnt making her go to school today.  the semester is over and grades are in.  they only have these last 2 days due to hurricane sandy and the schools being closed for an entire week.  She had the choice to go or not.  I would of let her hang out with friends if thats what she wanted and she knew that.  I have no problem with the boy walking to the train with her. I prefer she have someone with her due to another issue we've had. but she chose to lie and be sneaky for the sole purpose of lying and being sneaky.  She's handing over her phone this afternoon when she gets home and she may get it back when school starts up again.  Her facebook will be deactivated for the summer at least. If i ever let her hang with friends at all this summer it will be under total and 100% supervision.  I dont know what else to do with her.  It would make so much more sense if she was lying to get away with something but she didnt have to lie and she knew that. 

by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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Replies (1-7):
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:08 PM

UGH teenagers.  It really makes you wonder what goes on in their heads when they make these kinds of decisions.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:12 PM
2 moms liked this

It seems odd that she would lie about something you wouldn't have an issue yet. Unless maybe this might be the start of a relationship and she didn't want to say anything until she knew.

If it was me, I'd just talk to her about it. I'd want to really know why she felt the need to lie about something so minor? It just seems so trivial. 

Yes, she wasn't truthful, but this falls under...eh not a biggy. It's not like she said she was going to Jane's house and went to Bob's where they got drunk. She just didn't tell you she was meeting someone at the bus stop.

Msgme
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 1:30 PM


Thats what bothers me the most about this. She didnt have to lie.  She even came up with excuses on why i couldnt walk her.  I should of known something was up.  And if we didnt have such a difficult past with lying to me about really important things and sneaking around and all kinda of issues half of which she never needed to lie to me about. And she wouldnt of ended up in the situation she ended up in. which was really bad.   I woulda just let her know i knew and shrugged it off.  As for the boy he's actually and Ex that she broke up with about a month ago and suposedly are trying to become friends again. Which all she had to say was hey hes walking me to the train today we have some stuff to discuss.  I woulda told her okay. She has given me a story on why she didnt tell me and it does seem plausible.  I just wish i could believe her. It kills me that I can't.  He actually told her not to tell me cause he is trying to take credit for something that I know is not him. but she told me she was leaving for school and watied almost 30 minutes for him and hid from me.  im not sure if she planned on cutting school and hanging out with him or not.  She says no and she's in school but I dont know.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

It seems odd that she would lie about something you wouldn't have an issue yet. Unless maybe this might be the start of a relationship and she didn't want to say anything until she knew.

If it was me, I'd just talk to her about it. I'd want to really know why she felt the need to lie about something so minor? It just seems so trivial. 

Yes, she wasn't truthful, but this falls under...eh not a biggy. It's not like she said she was going to Jane's house and went to Bob's where they got drunk. She just didn't tell you she was meeting someone at the bus stop.



MrsBLB
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 1:43 PM

Hugs to you.

Retrokitty
by Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 1:54 PM
Make sure to let her know that of she had just asked you you would have let her go. Tell her she's not in trouble for what she did but that she lies about it.
Msgme
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2013 at 2:32 PM


oh she knows.  But Ive had a lot of time to relax and think about things all day.  I've spoken with her therapist  who helped me see things more clearly. and perhaps super strict punishment is not the way to go.  So i'm glad i didnt tell her the punishment yet.  we are going to do a few extra sessions with me and her together.  If she's telling me the truth and i do want to believe her she was worried i was gonna ask to many questions.  She has some issues opening up to ppl. She talks to me but its not always easy for her. I wouldnt of asked any questions about him walking her because it wouldnt of been an odd occourance.  he's been walking her for months even after the break up he continued because of a saftey issue.  If she hadnt said he wasnt walking her today i would of assumed he was.  I guess because she knows something was going on that she felt i might of picked up on it and asked questions and she wasnt at the time ready to talk about it.  I pointed out to her that I knew something was bothering her last night.  I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. I told her i could tell something was wrong but it was okay if she wasnt ready to talk about it and that I'd be there for her when she was.  Then i went to bed.  I so want to give her the benefit of the doubt but its so hard.  We've been talking pretty much all day via text but we are gonna have a good sit down later.  me and the kids are going away this weekend.  I'm gonna use alot of that time to talk as well.

Quoting Retrokitty:

Make sure to let her know that of she had just asked you you would have let her go. Tell her she's not in trouble for what she did but that she lies about it.



drfink
by Emily on Jun. 25, 2013 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting fammatthews4:

UGH teenagers.  It really makes you wonder what goes on in their heads when they make these kinds of decisions.

TRUTH !!!  

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