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Moms of 18 yos - does your kid's doctor do this to you too?

Posted by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:43 PM
  • 26 Replies

I just wanted to check if any other mothers had experienced treatment similar to mine.  Now that my daughter is 18, I am treated like a pariah when I go with her to her doctor's appointments, even though she wants me there.  I don't mind them checking with her to see if its ok - but I am not allowed to speak on the phone in scheduling appointments, even if I need to go with her, and I feel like I am getting dirty looks from nurses when I can see she is confused and I ask questions to get more clarification.  Since when does 18 become a magical age when my daughter doesn't need me anymore?  I understand that we have privacy laws, but the treatment seems a little extreme - especially since she is actively requesting I participate.  I'm wondering if I switched doctors if it would be a more pleasant experience. 

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SAMI_JO
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:45 PM

 I have ALWAYS, had someone go in with me. You never know what they might tell you!

sabrtooth1
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:51 PM
4 moms liked this

It's not just privacy laws.  Those kick in at 16.  At 18, unless your dd is mentally disabled, she's a legal adult.  In charge, and responsible.  Doesn't matter if she's on your ins, or if you pay the bill, SHE is the only one the doctors, dentists, college representatives, creditors, etc talk to.  Get used to it.

atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 1, 2013 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Heck I schedule myb 22 year olds appts. No one ask really who I am. Gone with her and no one kicks me out.
It is the govt new HIPPA laws. Many suck and are taken to the extreme.
Mental illness is out of control and we have people shooting up places because adults are in charge and if they don't wanna take meds they don't have to. Back in the 60's and 70's you could commit your adult children through the courts.
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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:14 PM
They should be rude to you, but should def be directing all of their questions to her. She should also at this point be the one scheduling the appts if possible just to get used to it.
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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Our state the privacy laws kick in at 14

Quoting sabrtooth1:

It's not just privacy laws.  Those kick in at 16.  At 18, unless your dd is mentally disabled, she's a legal adult.  In charge, and responsible.  Doesn't matter if she's on your ins, or if you pay the bill, SHE is the only one the doctors, dentists, college representatives, creditors, etc talk to.  Get used to it.

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gregen
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Ok.  Looks like I have to get used to it.  Its just frustrating that they are not letting her direct what she wants at the doctor - which is to have me there when discussing plans for her health.  She's a very smart kid, but for some reason gets really confused about what she is supposed to do based on what they are telling her.  I guess maybe I'll work with her on active listening and speaking up if things aren't clear at the doctors.  :D 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 2:01 PM
3 moms liked this
I don't have any problems scheduling appointments for them not even for the over 18 kids. Nor do they have issues with me being there. Some of that is probably because we have been going to the same places for years so they don't think anything of it. If its a new place and they are confused they say "explain it to my mom, she'll know better then me" if the place is really being a pain my kids will sign a form giving them an me the legal right to discuss whatever the issue is.
fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:47 PM
My son is 20 and sees several specialists. I have never had any issue with being treated rudely when I go with him. He wants me with him on case he doesn't understand something so I go. As far as regular appointments go he usually goes by himself.
sahlady
by Gold Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:51 PM

no we have not experienced that.  we have been with the same dr since my kids were born... I guess they are just used to me being there.  I am asked to leave at one point during the visits... but Im fine with that and it is to be expected.

drfink
by Emily on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:56 PM

We have never had that issue.We also have had the same doctors since birth for them.

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