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Need advice bad!!!

Posted by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:53 PM
  • 14 Replies
i have a 13 in half year old dd alot of issues have just came up today.... right now she lives with her dad and step mom.... she went home last sunday and today i found a lighter in her purse and found out she might of stollen her grandmothers ring.... i called her dad and talked to him and step mom and come find out she had stollen a ring while back and i had it in purse... she said that the step mom gave it to her and today i found out she didnt... she wont tell us where the ring is and i know she is hating me but i had to tell them what is going on... now i have to deside when i get my lawsuit over a wreck some ass hole desided to hit me if i wanna get a lawer to bring her home.... i dont wanna spend 4000 dollars on a lawer if she is going to lie and steel i have 2 lil ones that i wanna raise good... i love her she is my world but i dont know what to do with her... please dont bash just need advice
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by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 12:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 3:23 PM


Quoting momma_2013:

i have a 13 in half year old dd alot of issues have just came up today.... right now she lives with her dad and step mom....
So they have full custody?
she went home last sunday and today i found a lighter in her purse and found out she might of stollen her grandmothers ring.... i called her dad and talked to him and step mom and come find out she had stollen a ring while back and i had it in purse... she said that the step mom gave it to her and today i found out she didnt... she wont tell us where the ring is and i know she is hating me but i had to tell them what is going on...
Yes, you did.
now i have to deside when i get my lawsuit over a wreck some ass hole desided to hit me
That's a separate issue from the issue with your daughter.
if i wanna get a lawer to bring her home.... i dont wanna spend 4000 dollars on a lawer if she is going to lie and steel i have 2 lil ones that i wanna raise good... i love her she is my world but i dont know what to do with her... please dont bash just need advice

The car accidengt is a separate issue. What would you do if your daughter did not exist? Then you do that NOW. If you receive any money it will go toward the car repair anyway.

These are separate issues. One has nothing to do with the other. So think of them that way. 

Counseling is in order for your daughter. Talking with your insurance company about  the accident is in order for you.

momma_2013
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:13 PM
We have joint.... and the money is fo personal injuryers... so its no a different issue... the money i get was going to a lawer to bring her home....


Quoting gdiamante:


Quoting momma_2013:

i have a 13 in half year old dd alot of issues have just came up today.... right now she lives with her dad and step mom....
So they have full custody?
she went home last sunday and today i found a lighter in her purse and found out she might of stollen her grandmothers ring.... i called her dad and talked to him and step mom and come find out she had stollen a ring while back and i had it in purse... she said that the step mom gave it to her and today i found out she didnt... she wont tell us where the ring is and i know she is hating me but i had to tell them what is going on...
Yes, you did.
now i have to deside when i get my lawsuit over a wreck some ass hole desided to hit me
That's a separate issue from the issue with your daughter.
if i wanna get a lawer to bring her home.... i dont wanna spend 4000 dollars on a lawer if she is going to lie and steel i have 2 lil ones that i wanna raise good... i love her she is my world but i dont know what to do with her... please dont bash just need advice

The car accidengt is a separate issue. What would you do if your daughter did not exist? Then you do that NOW. If you receive any money it will go toward the car repair anyway.

These are separate issues. One has nothing to do with the other. So think of them that way. 

Counseling is in order for your daughter. Talking with your insurance company about  the accident is in order for you.


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gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:37 PM

Your post wasn't clear on that.

In any event, the advice still stands. COUNSELING for this child IMMEDIATELY. As in call for an appointment tomorrow.

The accident remains a separate issue. You must assume you will get ZERO dollars in the case. You cannot count on it! Consider that "windfall" money that you can spend on a splurge instead.

Don't link the two. If you don't have money for a lawyer without the accident, then you don't have the money for a lawyer period.

Quoting momma_2013:

We have joint.... and the money is fo personal injuryers... so its no a different issue... the money i get was going to a lawer to bring her home....
Quoting gdiamante:
Quoting momma_2013:

i have a 13 in half year old dd alot of issues have just came up today.... right now she lives with her dad and step mom....
So they have full custody?
she went home last sunday and today i found a lighter in her purse and found out she might of stollen her grandmothers ring.... i called her dad and talked to him and step mom and come find out she had stollen a ring while back and i had it in purse... she said that the step mom gave it to her and today i found out she didnt... she wont tell us where the ring is and i know she is hating me but i had to tell them what is going on...
Yes, you did.
now i have to deside when i get my lawsuit over a wreck some ass hole desided to hit me
That's a separate issue from the issue with your daughter.
if i wanna get a lawer to bring her home.... i dont wanna spend 4000 dollars on a lawer if she is going to lie and steel i have 2 lil ones that i wanna raise good... i love her she is my world but i dont know what to do with her... please dont bash just need advice

The car accidengt is a separate issue. What would you do if your daughter did not exist? Then you do that NOW. If you receive any money it will go toward the car repair anyway.

These are separate issues. One has nothing to do with the other. So think of them that way. 

Counseling is in order for your daughter. Talking with your insurance company about  the accident is in order for you.



momma_2013
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 5:52 PM
Any way.... she is already in conselling...


Quoting gdiamante:

Your post wasn't clear on that.

In any event, the advice still stands. COUNSELING for this child IMMEDIATELY. As in call for an appointment tomorrow.

The accident remains a separate issue. You must assume you will get ZERO dollars in the case. You cannot count on it! Consider that "windfall" money that you can spend on a splurge instead.

Don't link the two. If you don't have money for a lawyer without the accident, then you don't have the money for a lawyer period.

Quoting momma_2013:

We have joint.... and the money is fo personal injuryers... so its no a different issue... the money i get was going to a lawer to bring her home....

Quoting gdiamante:
Quoting momma_2013:

i have a 13 in half year old dd alot of issues have just came up today.... right now she lives with her dad and step mom....
So they have full custody?
she went home last sunday and today i found a lighter in her purse and found out she might of stollen her grandmothers ring.... i called her dad and talked to him and step mom and come find out she had stollen a ring while back and i had it in purse... she said that the step mom gave it to her and today i found out she didnt... she wont tell us where the ring is and i know she is hating me but i had to tell them what is going on...
Yes, you did.
now i have to deside when i get my lawsuit over a wreck some ass hole desided to hit me
That's a separate issue from the issue with your daughter.
if i wanna get a lawer to bring her home.... i dont wanna spend 4000 dollars on a lawer if she is going to lie and steel i have 2 lil ones that i wanna raise good... i love her she is my world but i dont know what to do with her... please dont bash just need advice

The car accidengt is a separate issue. What would you do if your daughter did not exist? Then you do that NOW. If you receive any money it will go toward the car repair anyway.

These are separate issues. One has nothing to do with the other. So think of them that way. 

Counseling is in order for your daughter. Talking with your insurance company about  the accident is in order for you.





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gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 6:19 PM

Excellent. So the thing you really have to look at is what you would do regardless of the accident. And I certainly understand your hesitation.

You say you have joint custody; what's the percentage? What are you trying to get it it? What kind of support do you have for dealing with her?

Is the lying and stealing something new? When did it start? What have Dad and stepmom done about it?

What does her counselor suggest?

Quoting momma_2013:

Any way.... she is already in conselling...
Cindy18
by Bronze Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 8:15 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm confused about the part where you want to get a lawyer to bring her home but have two little ones that you want to raise "right" and dont want to waste the money if she is going to lie and steal? 

It's not a choice when it comes to parenting... You do want you have to do, NO MATTER WHAT..... 

Not bashing but it's my honest opinion, if you don't want her with you FOR BETTER OR WORSE, then she is probably better off with her father.

21lisa72
by Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 11:56 AM

I agree on counceling which can help with a strict disciplane plan at this time.  Until she can behave and tell the truth.  I would be with her or maybe not and clear out her rooms (we did that with my son but just found stupid stuff candy and chip rappers pop cans but still way against our rules because we lock the snack cabnet because of his being sneaky he is the same age but has adhd learning disabilities that just adds to the problem).  So I would start with that.  With our counceling when he talks back or does stuff he shouldnt he gets two warnings than gets something taken away-ds, ipod, legos if it was serious like what your daughter did I would probably ground her take anything fun out of her room tv electronics.  One time he had to follow me and do everything I did sit on the couch with me sit outside the bathroom he really hated that one but it was a huge punishment to me as well.  I imagine no privacy to a teenage girl would really get to her.  You could call your local police and see if they do anything to scare teens have them come pick her up for steeling and put her in a cell for a bit but I have no clue if they do that without putting them in thoose out of control kid programs but for sure counceling and cleaning out the rooms God only knows what you will find leave no corner unturned even underthe mattress!  Good luck!  Sorry about your trouble!

momma_2013
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 12:04 PM
Thank you ill try all that....


Quoting 21lisa72:

I agree on counceling which can help with a strict disciplane plan at this time.  Until she can behave and tell the truth.  I would be with her or maybe not and clear out her rooms (we did that with my son but just found stupid stuff candy and chip rappers pop cans but still way against our rules because we lock the snack cabnet because of his being sneaky he is the same age but has adhd learning disabilities that just adds to the problem).  So I would start with that.  With our counceling when he talks back or does stuff he shouldnt he gets two warnings than gets something taken away-ds, ipod, legos if it was serious like what your daughter did I would probably ground her take anything fun out of her room tv electronics.  One time he had to follow me and do everything I did sit on the couch with me sit outside the bathroom he really hated that one but it was a huge punishment to me as well.  I imagine no privacy to a teenage girl would really get to her.  You could call your local police and see if they do anything to scare teens have them come pick her up for steeling and put her in a cell for a bit but I have no clue if they do that without putting them in thoose out of control kid programs but for sure counceling and cleaning out the rooms God only knows what you will find leave no corner unturned even underthe mattress!  Good luck!  Sorry about your trouble!


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bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:01 PM
What does the counselor on counseling suggest? I would seek advice from the professional in the situation before you all move her around
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momma_2013
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:09 PM
The whole moving around?? she lived with for 11 in half years.... this her 2 year with him... she went because she chose to try to live with him... and she dont like it so she wants to come back...i dont know what the conserler says i live a hour and 10 min away... and her dad dont tell me anything


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

What does the counselor on counseling suggest? I would seek advice from the professional in the situation before you all move her around

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