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Advice Needed: My 18 year old daughter is dating a 51 year...

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:24 PM
  • 75 Replies

My 18 year old daughter is dating a 51 year old man that she worked with at the Volunteer Fire Department for for the past two years. This man is my age. What can I do? Talking to her and confronting him did no good. We live a very small community and everyone knows.  My daughter just graduated Saluatorian of her class and has now lost respect from the whole community.  I do not feel this is was my daughter's fault, but she is continuing to see this man even though her father and I have both asked her to end the relationship.  This man also has an 18 year old daughter that my daughter knows through sports.

Please give me some advice as apparently I did not raise my daughter right.  I caanot eat sleep or work.

This is on my mind 24/7 as I do not want my daughter to lose her future over this.

by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 5, 2013 at 4:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Ewwwww, dh is 51 and our youngest is 19.
They can't have a thing in common. Is she looking for a father figure. I would be beyond devastated.
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staci1103
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Oh my!!! I dont have any advice for u:( Sadly shes of age so what can u do?
chattycassie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 5:55 PM
1 mom liked this
You cany do much since she is of age..... I wish I could give you some Advise. I am 34 and that is old for me.
jojo_star
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 6:36 PM

You can't do much. She is 18. Just talk to her, find out what they have in common. I was 18, dh was 30 when we met and married, but 18 and over 50? I have no idea what that man would see in her or she in him. But, it is her life, her choice. 

SugarrCane
by Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 7:29 PM
1 mom liked this

That is way too big of an age difference.  Why does he want to date a teenager? He has a daughter her age?  What a frickin perv!  I would tell this guy to stay away from my daughter or else!

Ceremony
by Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 7:42 PM

My thoughts are with you.  hard for anyone in this position. Keep communication lines open. Talk about safe sex, of course.  First boyfriend?

Luv.My.Kidz
by Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 7:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Nothing you can do... your daughter is 18 and can do what she wants. If he treats her right, doesn't abuse her, mind your own damn business.

Cindy18
by Bronze Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 9:05 PM

She is an adult so there is really nothing you can do. Confronting them won't do any good, that will just make her more stubborn. All you can do is tell her how you feel about this relationship and leave it alone. You don't have to approve. 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 9:35 PM
9 moms liked this

Let's take the ewww factor out of this. Is there something wrong with this guy? I mean is a criminal, a drug addict, something other then just older then her?


If your community is so up tight that your DD would loose respect because she is dating a much older man, then that is their problem, not your DD's. Loose her future? How? She can still go to school, and lead a normal life. Instead of fighting with her and worrying about other peoples opinions, ask that she at the very least continue her education. Period. That should be the bigger priority, and truth be told this could be an issue if she was dating someone her own age. 

Sorry, but unless you have valid reason besides his age and the age of his children, you are going to have to come to a compromise with your DD. 

tyfry7496
by Silver Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 10:09 PM
There is nothing you can do. As long as she is happy, respected and treated nicely its not your place to do or say anything. The more you push the more she'll do what she wants.
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