by Jeanne Sager
Right now, my daughter has a lot of boy friends. Notice the space. Boys are her friends. They have playdates in our backyard and giggle over popsicles. As a mom who remembers all too well how painful the drama with girlfriends can be, I'm glad she enjoys her friendships with boys. But I'm not exactly holding out hope that this will last forever. One day my daughter will begin to date.
The way it looks now, she will likely date boys (although if it's girls, her father and I are fine with that too). I'm not ready yet, but I'm getting there. But before any boy comes a'knockin', he might want to prepare himself ... we've got rules for dating our teenage daughter:
1. No means no. Her father and I have been teaching her that she has the right to say "when" ever since she was young enough to be out of our sight. And she has my full permission to knee you in the nuts if you don't listen.
2. An open door means an OPEN door. Not a door that isn't locked but is technically closed. Not a door that is so close to closed that you can't see in (but you could push open). Open. Period.
3. Condoms are not optional. I'm not an idiot; eventually my daughter will have sex. Hopefully it's later rather than sooner. But no matter what she's using for protection, you're using something too, buddy.
4. There is such thing as too much PDA. You will want to kiss. Hug. Hold hands. I get it. I was young once. But if you're groping my teenage daughter in public, she will be in trouble, and I will be telling your mother.
5. Keep your hands off her neck. I'm not just talking about violence (this should be a given). I'm talking about the boys who walk around the mall with one hand wrapped 'round the back of his girlfriend's neck. My daughter is not a dog; she does not need a collar.
6. Don't honk. You have two hands and two legs. Use them to get your hind end out of the car and walk to the door when you're picking her up.
7. Don't break curfew. If she breaks curfew, even if it's your fault, she will be in trouble. If you "lurv" her so much, you won't want her to get in trouble, will you?
8. Don't lie. To her. To me. To your parents. Everyone is much more likely to forgive if you just start with the truth.
9. She's smart. Get over it. Her father and I have worked hard to make sure she knows her smarts are valuable. We're not going to let you convince her she's nothing more than her pretty face.
10. She's comfortable in her skin. Let's keep it that way. If you're not attracted to all of my daughter, and you want to pick apart her weight or chest size, hit the road Jack, and don't you dare come back. She doesn't need you to tear down her self esteem.
Follow these, and I promise I won't let my husband pull out the "I've got a shotgun and a shovel" line my dad used on him. Well ... maybe ...
Do you have rules for the boys who date your daughter?
What are they?