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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

I feel so bad .... :-/

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 4:08 PM
  • 9 Replies
Short background: I was in a pretty bad car accident two years ago and the lawsuit is still in litigation. I lost my job due to my injuries as most of them are cognative problems and a chronic headache.

Since then, my father is paying our mortgage, and our bills are barely paid before they cut it off.

Our cars are so laughable, but at least I have one and my husband or dad can take me to the " long distance" appts because I can't drive on the highway w/o a panic attack and get lost even with the GPS ( remember , I can't focus a lot of the time anyway)

Here's the deal, my 14 yr old son has been way supportive through this, helping with his younger brother, and is like.... WAY helpful compared to previously behavior before the accident.

Here's my concern. He related a dream to me just now that we were given 15 hrs to pack up our stuff or it would be thrown outside and he said before he realized it we were living in a small apartment.

Now, I'm not an expert in dreams, but this was obviously a cut and dry worried about money dream. The foreclosure part and losing his stuff and all. I HATE THAT his sub conscience is worried about adult issues.

I tried to reassure him as best as I could that his job was school and helping me cheerfully. I told him that worrying about money was DH's, mine, and granddaddy's job. Then I said " now go play a game or build with your Legos because no one is coming after this house! No one even WANTS this tiny house and made light of " in fact, I can't imagine an apt SMALLER than this house!

( if anyone just has to know, our wifi is paid for by his biological dad, and we don't have cable, so nothing to cut out)

I'm just saddened that he's now having " worry dreams" ....afraid we'll be like what we heard happening to ppl on the news in 07-09
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 4:08 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:55 PM

Stay strong. its never easy but you are doing the right thing. Keep up the good work.

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 7:15 PM

Money problems affect the whole family, I think sometimes it is harder on the kds.

Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:35 PM
Agreed..... Feeling even more powerless, I'm sure. We've done our best to make sure their lives haven't changed too much. All the family chipped in for his end of the year trip to D.C. He worked hard (academically) all year for that trip. They all gave money to him for Christmas so he could go.

Yes, birthdays will be thinner ( july and august) But the tot won't notice.... and he's aware it's the celebration pf being the first born. He's a good kid, he speak with anger about the accident, but, hey, so do I. i just didn't realize he was paying attention to how bad the "pinch" really was.... he probably didn't either until the dream.
it sucks because i cannot even apply for Disability until after the settlement or they want a percentage back, too.
Without our family's support....well, his dream could be very close.
I haz sad.



Quoting PurpleHazey:

Money problems affect the whole family, I think sometimes it is harder on the kds.


bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:36 PM

 Hang in there, hugs! Thankfully you have someone to help you!

Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Yes, I am thankful....although, tis not without emotional strings tho. Few things don't though, right?


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

 Hang in there, hugs! Thankfully you have someone to help you!


boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jul. 8, 2013 at 8:47 PM

I'm so sorry.   Your Dad sounds like a big help!   I think you handled your son's concerns well.   I hope he is able to refocus his attention.




Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Thank you, I hope so.... Yes my dad has helped as much as he can.... Way past retirement, he continues working to help us. I can't wait for this to be over and be at his retirement party! I can't wait for the legality of it to be over... The damage will not be repaired.... But at least that part will be done.


Quoting boys2men2soon:

I'm so sorry.   Your Dad sounds like a big help!   I think you handled your son's concerns well.   I hope he is able to refocus his attention.


gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 1:07 AM

Mine's 13 and knows far more about money troubles than I'd like. BUT... when I was 14 I never knew money troubles could exist. I didn't think it was possible. And I think that did me more harm than good; even into my 20s I was getting assistance from my parents. I didn't hit true self-sufficiency until my late 20s, and I really should have done years earlier than that.

Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 1:18 AM
:-) irony.... I was self sufficient in my early twenties, now I and my husband should have a healthy savings and all that ....parents closing quickly on middle age and having to depend on my aging father b/c that savings depleted over a year ago and can't pay the taxes on an early withdrawal IRA, ya know?


Quoting gdiamante:

Mine's 13 and knows far more about money troubles than I'd like. BUT... when I was 14 I never knew money troubles could exist. I didn't think it was possible. And I think that did me more harm than good; even into my 20s I was getting assistance from my parents. I didn't hit true self-sufficiency until my late 20s, and I really should have done years earlier than that.


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