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Is my daughter depressed?

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 5:47 PM
  • 8 Replies

I'm concerned my 16-year-old daughter may be depressed.  She's not herself, seems uninterested in her normal activities, isn't spending much time with friends, and is just generally down. This has been going on for about a month.  Lots of headaches and tired all the time. It's not really horrible at this point--when we get her out of the house she does perk up and start acting more normal--but I'd hate to see it get any worse. Is this depression or just part of being a teen?  She's never acted this way before.  She is super active normally, very good student, involved with school sports and National Honor Society, etc., but since it is summer there isn't much going on.  She has a job as a day camp counselor but isn't really enjoying it (another oddity for her). 

She had an extremely difficult breakup back in April with her 'first love'--she pushed herself very, very hard to 'move on' and prove to everyone that she was okay--could she finally be dealing with all the emotions that she pushed aside at the time?  She has acknowledged that she isn't really herself but maintains she doesn't 'have anything to be depressed about.'  She has a new boyfriend already, very sweet and very unlikely to hurt her, which I'm pretty sure is why she chose him--he is definitely not her 'type'. I have tried and failed to make her see that boyfriends are unnecessary.  She is normally a great communicator and we have a very close relationship--she typically tells me everything--but she has closed herself off this time.

Anyone have a similar situation with your teen?  Do I give her some more time or take her to the doctor right away for a depression screening?  I don't want to create problems where there may not be any, but I also don't want to let something go and pay the price later.  Thanks for any advice!

by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 5:47 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:47 PM

I would call the doctor. It is better to be safe than sorry. Maybe have her see a therapist. Again it can't hurt so why not.

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jul. 8, 2013 at 6:55 PM

I would sit down and talk with her. explain your concern. Ask if she would like to go talk to someone. Abide by her wishes.

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 7:22 PM

If there is no concerns why would you want to put her on meds, every teens goes though this and she needs to learn to deal with it on her own, why even think about having her put on meds?

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 8, 2013 at 7:22 PM

 


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

I would sit down and talk with her. explain your concern. Ask if she would like to go talk to someone. Abide by her wishes.

I agree with this.

 

ochoa.mama
by on Jul. 9, 2013 at 3:06 AM
There can be a certain situation bothering her, this seems pretty normal if she didn't talk to anyone & slept a lot then worry but she seems to bounce back, maybe just issues
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 7:03 AM


I actually agree with Hazey on this one (for once!) Although it is a slight concern the symptoms that she does have - the fact that she can "perk up and act normal" doesn't seem like depression. The  main symptom for depression is having the symptoms for at least 6 or more weeks, without any good days. I think she's just allowing herself to finally feel the break up so naturally she is feeling a little bit down. All teens go through this, and they do need to learn to deal with it alone - A big issue in society is that everybody runs to the psychologist or the psychiatrist for a small cut (metaphorically speaking) which forces the people who need serious medical attention to the back of the queue or forces them to accept less help than they require because people run to counselling for issues they should handle themselves.


Btw - correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't depression a imbalance of chemicals - not a situation making them sad?

Quoting PurpleHazey:

If there is no concerns why would you want to put her on meds, every teens goes though this and she needs to learn to deal with it on her own, why even think about having her put on meds?



Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Jul. 9, 2013 at 12:06 PM

Thanks everyone!  This is just what I needed.  I definitely would not jump to meds--too risky with teens--was thinking more along the lines of talk therapy.  But after reading all your responses, I spoke to DD a little last night (as much as she would allow), and it sounds like she's down because many of her friends are out of town for most of the summer, and the ones who are in town, she isn't as close to as she used to be.  So she isn't making many plans because there's no one to make plans with!  I do think the breakup has finally hit her, but she can't admit it because a. she's too proud, and b. it would be a slap in the face to the new boyrfriend.  I did tell her that if she ever feels like she needs to talk to someone (mental health professional), all she has to do is let me know.  She has a youth group trip to CA coming up early August so hopefully that will do a lot to cheer her up.  I think  I will wait and see how she is after that. I'm still interested in hearing from anyone who has found themselves in a similar situation with their own teen, so keep it coming.  Thank you again for the advice!

atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 9, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Get her counseling
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