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What to do next?

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 3:24 PM
  • 16 Replies

I just found out through pictures that my 14 year old daughter has been sexually active with another girl. I am disappointed, hurt and many other things that I just can't describe. What do I do now? How do we move forward as a family after finding out about this.

by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 3:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 6:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you look into seeing a therapist for yourself. You need to help yourself deal with this news so you can help your DD. Its not going to be an easy path and you need to get over the shock so you can be strong for your DD and help her to be proud of who she is.

drfink
by Emily on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:12 PM
3 moms liked this

First are you disappointed because it was with a girl ? If so you need to just love your daughter and not be concerned with her orientation.

Second I would be disappointed if my 14 year old son or daughter was having sex with boy or girl.Yall need to talk and explain the emotional ramifications of being sexually active at such a young age.Adding sex into young relationships where kids are still figuring out what they are looking for in a partner when they older just makes it all harder.Harder to break up ,more painful ,taking chances of the relationship being primarily sexual.

This would be my greatest concern

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 9:18 PM
2 moms liked this

I think it depends on what exactly you are upset about. I can see e things, she's 14, and she had it in pictures. One is legally a huge thing, the other is too, but not as life altering as the second.

Reign her in, no alone time, more involvement in outside activities like volunteering. She can't be trusted, so don't trust her.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 13, 2013 at 11:14 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree with pp's sort out what you are upset about. I also agree with pp's that the MOST upsetting to me would be the fact she's sexually active and taking pictures. The fact that she was with a male or female would be secondary to that. 14 is way too young! Phone gone, freedom gone, sit down, have a talk, set some boundaries and most importantly follow through!
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PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:09 PM

 


Quoting drfink:

First are you disappointed because it was with a girl ? If so you need to just love your daughter and not be concerned with her orientation.

Second I would be disappointed if my 14 year old son or daughter was having sex with boy or girl.Yall need to talk and explain the emotional ramifications of being sexually active at such a young age.Adding sex into young relationships where kids are still figuring out what they are looking for in a partner when they older just makes it all harder.Harder to break up ,more painful ,taking chances of the relationship being primarily sexual.

This would be my greatest concern

That is the first thing that crossed my mind.

 

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

14 ia way to young for sex, with a male or a female.

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I agree with pp's sort out what you are upset about. I also agree with pp's that the MOST upsetting to me would be the fact she's sexually active and taking pictures. The fact that she was with a male or female would be secondary to that. 14 is way too young! Phone gone, freedom gone, sit down, have a talk, set some boundaries and most importantly follow through!

I like this.

 

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:12 PM

 


Quoting Jessiejack:

I think you look into seeing a therapist for yourself. You need to help yourself deal with this news so you can help your DD. Its not going to be an easy path and you need to get over the shock so you can be strong for your DD and help her to be proud of who she is.

She is 14, way to young for sex!

 

Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 I agree 14 is to young but its a little late for that. She is already having sex. I think mom needs to educate her about sex and educate herself about same sex relationships. I might have read the original post the wrong way but it sound like she was upset that it was a girl not that it was sex.

Quoting PurpleHazey:

 

 

Quoting Jessiejack:

I think you look into seeing a therapist for yourself. You need to help yourself deal with this news so you can help your DD. Its not going to be an easy path and you need to get over the shock so you can be strong for your DD and help her to be proud of who she is.

She is 14, way to young for sex!

 

 

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:35 PM

I agree with this.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I agree with pp's sort out what you are upset about. I also agree with pp's that the MOST upsetting to me would be the fact she's sexually active and taking pictures. The fact that she was with a male or female would be secondary to that. 14 is way too young! Phone gone, freedom gone, sit down, have a talk, set some boundaries and most importantly follow through!


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