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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Am I doing the right thing?

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:39 AM
  • 43 Replies
So first off let me say this is my first post and pls be nice. I am a mom to two girls 12 and 16. My husband and i both work decent jobs.. Pays the bills but i dont drive a bmw. Anyway my oldeat dd is getting to be a tad expensive so my dh and i decided to encourage her to get a job which she did. i was never allowwed to work growing up and blame my early financial irresponisbility on thia fact. Anywho i was picking her up at work one night i was early so i could watch my beautiful dd growing up and i saw a bunch of young kids at the resturant laughing and acting thier age and there was my dd mopping floors and wiping down tables. It was at this moment i felt a huge pang of guilt. I dont think she minds working for the paycheck.. She likes shopping. But im wondering now am I robbing her of her youth by trying to instill a good work ethic in her?
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NettePooh
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:50 AM
It sounds like your daughter is responsible and wants to work to earn money..you shouldn't feel guilty you should be proud of your dd! It sounds like she already has a good work ethic .. good job momma!!
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atlmom2
by Susie on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:54 AM
I did not have my girls work in hs. My dd 22 saved $14,000 in 3 years after hs. She is awesome with money. I think it is what you teach your kids and leading by example more than making them work in hs. I never worked in hs and I was good with money as a young adult.
My dd's have awesome work ethic too. That is instilled in them by watching parents and also talking to them not by making them work in hs.
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Roo1234
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 8:55 AM
1 mom liked this
a few hours of responsibility aren't going to scar her. she is working for luxuries and the sooner she learns how hard it is to keep up with the Jones, the sooner she will start to appreciate and think more consciously as a consumer.

these are all good things.
trayseehalf
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 9:23 AM

I don't know. I'm torn too!! I haven't gotten there yet, our son is only 13 1/2. My husband he had to work for everything. I didn't. So we'll see what happens.

arkmomma06
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 10:14 AM
I agree!

Quoting NettePooh:

It sounds like your daughter is responsible and wants to work to earn money..you shouldn't feel guilty you should be proud of your dd! It sounds like she already has a good work ethic .. good job momma!!

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:03 AM

No I don't think you are. You are teaching her that you work for what you want. I bet she takes damn good care of the things she buys. She understands the concept of earning vs spending. I  bet your dd has time to be young and enjoy life.

Momofmenagerie
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:07 AM
No.
sabrtooth1
by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:24 AM

My kids worked beginning at 12, babysitting.  And I mean a JOB, working set hours, sitting during the summers and weekends for working parents.  When they hit 15-16, they worked traditional jobs.  This in NO way "robbed them" of their youth.  They were involved in many activities.  They had many friends.  In fact, some of their BEST friends, are friends they made working those jobs, all those years ago.  The jobs in NO way interfered with their grades.  It taught them how to budget their time, and prioritize.

I have heard your same argument made for not teaching kids how to cook, and clean.  And the end result is the same.  Kids with little ability, and less desire, to take care of themselves.

zacmacsmomm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 12:37 PM
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Nope, sounds like you are doing the right thing.  I had a job at 16.  I also had a car and I paid for my own gas and insurance.

SuperLooneyMom
by Member on Jul. 21, 2013 at 12:38 PM
I got a job at 16 and was darn proud. I was taking trips my parents couldn't afford and there after supporting my parents. In high school. So a kid to work for luxury is a responsibility your dd is willing to take On. Your doing fine. But don't be a helicopter mom like mines still is
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