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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Would this be an issue for you?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:29 PM
  • 19 Replies

I have a friend - and I use the term loosely) who is a failure at parenting. Her 13 year old daughter doesn't live with her. The girl lives with her grandmother. There is nothing legal filed concerning this custody, the girl has lived with the grandmother for 5 years now and my friend has not given a dime to her mother in those 5 years, she doesn't provide insurance for her either. Just an FYI the father has no legal claim to the daughter because he is not on her birth certificate since BM is still married to her ex and wont file for divorce. In our state it would mean that he would have to go to court, prove her ex isn't the father and prove that he is. The father has been speaking with a lawyer but for now he can't get either document - the mother controls both. She is a great kid, honors student, straight A's, volunteers in her community, plays sports. The girl recently asked my friend for her social security card and birth certificate. It has caused a HUGE issue between them. I don't see a real reason why the daughter shouldn't/couldn't have her ss card and birth certificate. She is a responsible girl for the most part and she will need them when she goes to get her learners permit. Her mother has told her she absolutely will not give her the documents. The daughter is really angry and honestly her mother has given no real reason as to why she can't have them - it seems to be about control. Would you all your 13 year old to have these documents if they weren't living with you, they were responsible, and she knew where and how she would take care of them?

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
luvmytwins2
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 12:28 AM
1 mom liked this

 I would give them to the grandmother that was taking care of her.  I have 13 year old twins who are pretty responsible but that is still kinda young and she might lose it. 

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Jul. 26, 2013 at 12:37 AM
I agree with the pp, I would give them to the adult responsible for her care
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gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:04 AM

My son is 13 and knows precisely where those documents are and can get them whenever he wants them. 

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:01 AM
No I would not give those documents to a 13yo. I would make sure the adult responsible for her had them but not the 13yo.
SnowWhieQueen
by Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:19 AM

i would give them to the grandmother....and the grandmother has her in her custody...she can file child abandonment charges....and if the mother wont give her  her bc and ss they can get new ones...

Msgme
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:21 AM

My dd has a copy of both while i have the originals.  in this case i would give them to the grandmother tho.  Just and FYI  i too lived with my grandmother growing up and she never had legal custody of us.  But my grandmother was able to get all of my documents wthout my mother even knowing.  THe girl's grandmother may want to look into that.

02nana07
by Ida on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:00 AM
1 mom liked this

 Go to the health department and get a copy of the birth certificate then go to ss and apply for a replacement card tell them she can't find her card.

If the mother gets to smart have the grandmother file abandonment charges and get legal custody of the child so she can do what is needed for the child. 

 If she isn't turning these things loose it could be because she is getting public assistance for the child the grandmother might want to check into that.

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:05 AM

 


Quoting luvmytwins2:

 I would give them to the grandmother that was taking care of her.  I have 13 year old twins who are pretty responsible but that is still kinda young and she might lose it. 

That is the only right thing to do, the father has more rights then people think.

 

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:06 AM

I stay out of those kind of issues...minding my own is the only way!

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:10 AM

I wouldn't give them to the 13y/o but I would give them to the grandmother.

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