I have a friend - and I use the term loosely) who is a failure at parenting. Her 13 year old daughter doesn't live with her. The girl lives with her grandmother. There is nothing legal filed concerning this custody, the girl has lived with the grandmother for 5 years now and my friend has not given a dime to her mother in those 5 years, she doesn't provide insurance for her either. Just an FYI the father has no legal claim to the daughter because he is not on her birth certificate since BM is still married to her ex and wont file for divorce. In our state it would mean that he would have to go to court, prove her ex isn't the father and prove that he is. The father has been speaking with a lawyer but for now he can't get either document - the mother controls both. She is a great kid, honors student, straight A's, volunteers in her community, plays sports. The girl recently asked my friend for her social security card and birth certificate. It has caused a HUGE issue between them. I don't see a real reason why the daughter shouldn't/couldn't have her ss card and birth certificate. She is a responsible girl for the most part and she will need them when she goes to get her learners permit. Her mother has told her she absolutely will not give her the documents. The daughter is really angry and honestly her mother has given no real reason as to why she can't have them - it seems to be about control. Would you all your 13 year old to have these documents if they weren't living with you, they were responsible, and she knew where and how she would take care of them?