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Please Help!! I think my son has an eating disorder!

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I'm not sure how to approach this, and I know it is rare for boys to have eating disorders, but I'm at my wit's end with knowing how to help him.  He thinks about food all the time and exercises about three hours a day.  He has lost a lot of weight and is at a healthy weight right now, but he is getting overly worried because he's gained a few pounds over the summer.

I've got to wonder if his dad's illness is a factor in bringing this out.  Any advice is appreciated!

by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:58 PM
Replies (21-28):
bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 6:45 PM

It's not just about the food he actually consumes but what type he is consuming as well. DD was obsesses with labels and would read the food labels and make sure the fat content as well as the calories were within what she considered good. She also went 4 yrs without eating ANY fast food. She drinks no pop according to her empty calories and too full of sugar. Eats very little carbs even good carbs, eats mega amounts of protien and fresh fruit veggies now. 

DD also is a big gym rat and was even worse when she having issues and triggering, when the guys on the football team were trying to convince her to stop or even slow down as they couldn't keep up there was a problem.She would 3 to 4 hours a day in the gym,we are down to 2 hours about 5 days a week .


Quoting MomofBoys838:

Thank you so much for all the help.  I'll keep my eyes open for a mentor that I can encourage him to spend time with.  So far, he hasn't been refusing to eat, just is obsessing about weight, food, calories burned and ingested...

The weird thing is, he did approach me about this.  I had noticed the excessive exercising, and one day he said some quizzes he had taken suggested he might be borderline eating disorder.  I was so relieved, since that is half the battle, with him realizing he might have a problem.  Again, thank you!

Quoting bexsmum:

Contrary to popular believe you can not make him eat. Yes monitor him but you can't force the food in. Trust me he will find ways to avoid eating or to burn extra calories. Its all about control, if you try and control what he eats when or how much it will backfire and badly.  A nutrionist is a faboulous idea eating healthy does not mean he has to gain excess weight. He just has to learn this and accept it. The accepting it will be the hardest part.  DD now how a shirt that says" fit is new skinny ",

He needs to admit he has a problem as the first step because all the intervention in the world does absolutely NO GOOD!!! until the person suffering an ED admits they have one. That will be one of his hardest struggles admitting to you he has a problem.  Only he knows what his triggers and he needs a someone to confide in. It doesn't matter who this person is as long as it is someone who will listen, and not judge not give advice unless asked and be there as a sounding board.

DD's highschool track is her best resource and he has been a god send to her. He knew well before she would admit it to anyone and was always there to make sure she was at least healthy and injury free and always found ways to get food into her.  Another person my DD confided in was a gf's mother who had been there done that as a teen.  Peer counselling is always a great resource.  DD works with someone who  noticed right off the bat this spring that there was something going on ,she had not triggered but has some lingering effects from the abuse done to her body.  He told he lived the other side as his ex long term girlfriend had an ED and he was there is she ever needed to talk.




MomofBoys838
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 7:46 PM

Yeah, he's got an app that he can use to track all the fat, calories, sodium, etc.  He will eat fast food every so often, but right now the emphasis is on veggies and lean meats. 

I sort of went through a phase when I was his age....I lost a LOT of weight and was obsessive about everything I ate, but we didn't have the resources and knowledge available at our fingertips like the kids do now.  Somehow I just moved out of that, though, and it wasn't long term.

Quoting bexsmum:

It's not just about the food he actually consumes but what type he is consuming as well. DD was obsesses with labels and would read the food labels and make sure the fat content as well as the calories were within what she considered good. She also went 4 yrs without eating ANY fast food. She drinks no pop according to her empty calories and too full of sugar. Eats very little carbs even good carbs, eats mega amounts of protien and fresh fruit veggies now. 

DD also is a big gym rat and was even worse when she having issues and triggering, when the guys on the football team were trying to convince her to stop or even slow down as they couldn't keep up there was a problem.She would 3 to 4 hours a day in the gym,we are down to 2 hours about 5 days a week .


Quoting MomofBoys838:

Thank you so much for all the help.  I'll keep my eyes open for a mentor that I can encourage him to spend time with.  So far, he hasn't been refusing to eat, just is obsessing about weight, food, calories burned and ingested...

The weird thing is, he did approach me about this.  I had noticed the excessive exercising, and one day he said some quizzes he had taken suggested he might be borderline eating disorder.  I was so relieved, since that is half the battle, with him realizing he might have a problem.  Again, thank you!

Quoting bexsmum:

Contrary to popular believe you can not make him eat. Yes monitor him but you can't force the food in. Trust me he will find ways to avoid eating or to burn extra calories. Its all about control, if you try and control what he eats when or how much it will backfire and badly.  A nutrionist is a faboulous idea eating healthy does not mean he has to gain excess weight. He just has to learn this and accept it. The accepting it will be the hardest part.  DD now how a shirt that says" fit is new skinny ",

He needs to admit he has a problem as the first step because all the intervention in the world does absolutely NO GOOD!!! until the person suffering an ED admits they have one. That will be one of his hardest struggles admitting to you he has a problem.  Only he knows what his triggers and he needs a someone to confide in. It doesn't matter who this person is as long as it is someone who will listen, and not judge not give advice unless asked and be there as a sounding board.

DD's highschool track is her best resource and he has been a god send to her. He knew well before she would admit it to anyone and was always there to make sure she was at least healthy and injury free and always found ways to get food into her.  Another person my DD confided in was a gf's mother who had been there done that as a teen.  Peer counselling is always a great resource.  DD works with someone who  noticed right off the bat this spring that there was something going on ,she had not triggered but has some lingering effects from the abuse done to her body.  He told he lived the other side as his ex long term girlfriend had an ED and he was there is she ever needed to talk.





Mother2onecutie
by Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 8:19 PM

I agree with everyone who said get him into counseilng ASAP.  I worked for a doctor who headed up an Easting Disorder Clinic.  Some cannot do it on their own.  Some would give anything to turn back the time and I know for a fact that some parents wished their children were here.  Quite a few lost their battle.  It is not as simple as just starting eating again.  Like someone said, it is a mental health issue and you need to get him help soon.

Please!


MomofBoys838
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:01 PM

A cousin of mine lost a friend to the disorder....it is so cruel, what the mind can do, and those who do not have that mindset cannot understand how someone can have it and never recover.  Like you said, it's not just about starting to eat again.

We are definitely wanting to stay ahead of this, and will make sure he gets help.  Thank you for your advice!

Quoting Mother2onecutie:

I agree with everyone who said get him into counseilng ASAP.  I worked for a doctor who headed up an Easting Disorder Clinic.  Some cannot do it on their own.  Some would give anything to turn back the time and I know for a fact that some parents wished their children were here.  Quite a few lost their battle.  It is not as simple as just starting eating again.  Like someone said, it is a mental health issue and you need to get him help soon.

Please!



bizzeemom2717
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Hugs Mama my cousin was anorexic/bulimic. I went to visit him when he was inpatient getting treatment that saved his life. I was surprised myself how many men were at his facility

Quoting MomofBoys838:

It's good to know, I did think it was rare for boys. Thanks for your advice!

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

It's not as rare as you think with bots just not talked about as often. I would be very concerned. Glad you have an upcoming appt.
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MrsBLB
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 9:56 AM

This.

Quoting KW1280:

If you feel something is wrong then take him to a nutritionist. That is a start they then may refer him to a counseling facility. There are all kinds of stressors and pressures put on kids. They have to look like this, be a part of the in crowd and other things. We, as parents, have to reassure and be there. I know that you will do what is best for your child hugs momma


MomofBoys838
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:05 PM

Thanks, hugs to you, too!  I'm glad your cousin is a survivor.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Hugs Mama my cousin was anorexic/bulimic. I went to visit him when he was inpatient getting treatment that saved his life. I was surprised myself how many men were at his facility

Quoting MomofBoys838:

It's good to know, I did think it was rare for boys. Thanks for your advice!

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

It's not as rare as you think with bots just not talked about as often. I would be very concerned. Glad you have an upcoming appt.


MomofBoys838
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Thank you.

Quoting MrsBLB:

This.

Quoting KW1280:

If you feel something is wrong then take him to a nutritionist. That is a start they then may refer him to a counseling facility. There are all kinds of stressors and pressures put on kids. They have to look like this, be a part of the in crowd and other things. We, as parents, have to reassure and be there. I know that you will do what is best for your child hugs momma



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