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I just found out that my 14yrold is having sex and I was furious at her. So my 19 yr old niece took her to the client to see if she was pregnant or not and come to found out that she is not . My question is .What would you do If you found out that your teen is having sex .
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:06 AM
Replies (11-20):
Not_A_Native
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:06 AM

 


Quoting shansa3fan:

Talk about safe sex and why we practice it. Put her on birth control, the one that you don't have to rely on her to keep it effective. Mirena and Depo, yes but the pill? No way will I trust her. I was in your shoes. She's 19 now and not pregnant. There's no point in carrying on about abstinance because it's over. Discuss that it's still an option though and that there's reasons why teens should not be having sex. Point out disease that could lead to sterilization and even death. Once you have sex with someone, you just had sex with absolutely everyone else they ever had sex with. And so on, and so on and so on. Good luck. I was so pissed off I could barely talk to her. After all the talks and open door talking, she didn't have sense enough to protect herself and THAT'S why you're not mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. 

This.  The genie is out of the bottle, and there is no going back.  Teens that want to have sex, will, no matter how much you "try" to supervise them.

 

jojo_star
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 11:22 AM

It would depend on age, my 17 year old is sexually active and has been for a while. I have no problem with that, he's safe and smart. For a 14 year old, I'd sit her down, talk to her, again, about safe sex, pregnancy, std's, etc, and then I'd get her on birth control. At that age, she'd also loose all privileges and trust and have to earn it back. 

lazyd
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 12:23 PM

Well, we are going to put my 14 1/2 yo daughter on BC ONCE SHE HAS THE BABY SHE IS PREGNANT WITH!!!!  She will be 15 once she gives birth.  

PurpleHazey
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:08 PM
1 mom liked this

OMG, speechless

zacmacsmomm
by Bronze Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:13 PM

Depends on the age of the teen.  My son is 19 almost 20, only thing I care about is if he's safe and uses a condom every time.  My daughter is only 14 and I would be livid.  She would have very few freedoms and she would get the shot every 3 months

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Jul. 28, 2013 at 1:17 PM


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

 At 14 I would be very upset as well. I would sit her down and talk with her, make sure she also has no STI's as well as not preg. Then I would find out why she felt the need to be sexually active so early? Something is lacking emotionally in her life? Then I would find out where and when it happened and step up the supervision BIG time, she's lost her right to privacy and independence, she should be supervised at all times.

This!




drfink
by Emily on Jul. 28, 2013 at 3:18 PM

 Agree !

Quoting fammatthews4:

Exactly this.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

 At 14 I would be very upset as well. I would sit her down and talk with her, make sure she also has no STI's as well as not preg. Then I would find out why she felt the need to be sexually active so early? Something is lacking emotionally in her life? Then I would find out where and when it happened and step up the supervision BIG time, she's lost her right to privacy and independence, she should be supervised at all times.

 

drfink
by Emily on Jul. 28, 2013 at 3:23 PM

 you are right there is no going back but I would still want to know why she did at such a young age and remind her of all possible ramifications.I will not make it easy though.

Quoting Not_A_Native:

 

 

Quoting shansa3fan:

Talk about safe sex and why we practice it. Put her on birth control, the one that you don't have to rely on her to keep it effective. Mirena and Depo, yes but the pill? No way will I trust her. I was in your shoes. She's 19 now and not pregnant. There's no point in carrying on about abstinance because it's over. Discuss that it's still an option though and that there's reasons why teens should not be having sex. Point out disease that could lead to sterilization and even death. Once you have sex with someone, you just had sex with absolutely everyone else they ever had sex with. And so on, and so on and so on. Good luck. I was so pissed off I could barely talk to her. After all the talks and open door talking, she didn't have sense enough to protect herself and THAT'S why you're not mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. 

This.  The genie is out of the bottle, and there is no going back.  Teens that want to have sex, will, no matter how much you "try" to supervise them.

 

 

lilia5
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 6:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Two of my daughters became sexually active during their teenage years age 15 and 13. I was very upset, particularly with my younger daughter.

With both girls, I sat and had a very long talk with them. My 15 year old was already on BC to help with her period but my then 13 year old went on BC as soon as I found out. Aside from ensuring they were protected and educated, I couldn't do a lot to stop them.

trying2survive
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 6:43 PM
1 mom liked this
At 14 this would be a huge violation of trust. Dating is not allowed until 15 and that would mean she had been lying about her activities in the first place. It would be house arrest after that and it would take a lot to earn her freedom back.
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