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I have a 16 year old dd and we fight all the time because I have anger issues. I have called her fat, ugly, stupid , not good enough, worthless, loser and a bunch of other things. I know I get angry at her for no reason but I tell her that I'm sorry all the time. But she never accepts my apology she just  always gets angry and sad that I have called her these names. I am very sorry to my dd but she can't see how sorry I am. She has told me before that she loves me just because I gave life to her and raised her. But she doesn't love me in any other way.

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:21 PM
Replies (11-20):
MommaTate
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:32 PM

How awfully sad :( I'd be angry too, but much more hurt than angry, I'm sure.

I agree with the previous posters, please seek some sort of help and some family counseling or therapy. It will help her, it will help you and it with help your relationship with her and also show her that you are genuinely sorry and that you do love her and you do care.

Meanwhile, if you start to feel angry, walk away, take a break and then come back to the situation when you can handle it calmly and respectfully. It's better to walk away from her than it is to hurt her and say things you don't mean and you'll both regret.



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gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:39 AM

Until you get help for your anger issues, all the apologies in the world mean NOTHING. If you're really sorry, you'll be on a counselor's doorstep first thing tomorrow morning. 

Words are wind.

redhead-bedhead
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:41 AM

sealed lip

Buggy979
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:41 AM
You need to get counseling. She has every right to say what she said because you are truly not sorry if you keep repeating those words. Words hurt and they are never forgotten.
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MrsBLB
by Missi on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:04 AM

I totally agree with this.  Good luck to you both.

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

The one positive in this sad situation is that you realize you have a problem and have anger issues. You also realize that you are hurting and wounding your daughter deeply. what are you doing to help fix the situation since you love your daughter I'm assuming very much and do not want her to be hurt anymore? If you are unwilling to go to familoy counseling as well as counseling for yourself ASAP is there any other alternative home for your DD to live in so that she can feel loved and secure until you get the help you need? Your number one concern needs to of course be your DD's wellbeing, sounds like that is truly at risk right now. Good Luck.


Karine561
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:14 AM
2 moms liked this
Verbal abuse is just like physical abuse it hurts!! Just like a man who hit his wife and than he is sorry everytime. Than the person realize "sorry" mean nothing. You are abusing your dd with verbal word and she has the right to be angry at you.
If you are really sorry than get counceling before it's too late.
Grnyann65
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 5:28 PM

Words hurt more than anything. Too bad you didn't get counseling before you ruined the relationship between yourself and your daughter. Maybe you should get some help now, before she doesn't want her children around you.

FindersKeepers
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 5:34 PM
2 moms liked this

Sorry is an action, not a word.

Saying sorry is meaningless if you are not doing anything to change your behavior.   She has no reason to forgive you since you keep treating her the same way.    The words you use and your anger are unacceptable.  She has no reason to forgive you since she (and you) know that you are going to do it again. 

It sounds like you are using your anger management issue as an excuse for being verbally abusive to your daughter.    Nothing about this is forgivable.   You need to get the help you need to change your ways for good.

13579nlm
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 5:42 PM
1 mom liked this

You NEVER call a teenage girl any of those names. Even if you have anger issues. You have damaged her already.

bcauseimthemom
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 7:37 PM

You are lucky that she even loves you at all.  You are abusing her. If you are you aware of your anger issues, why don't you do something about it other than taking out on your child?

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