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Growing Pains Suck!

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 12:09 AM
  • 15 Replies
Dd is having a rough night. Finally cried herself to sleep. It breaks my heart. I really have no idea what to do, I just went and laid with her. She didn't ask me to leave and finally went to sleep after about an hour.

I think she finally hit that awkward stage; acne, frizzy hair, friend issues, hormonal. Going to get in the dr this week for acne and see if he can help with her hair- we've tried everything. Get some new eye wear and contacts for school, maybe if she feels better on the outside she will feel better on the inside. Regardless, this stinks and I feel helpless.
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 12:09 AM
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Barabell
by Barbara on Aug. 4, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Hugs to your daughter. :-( My sister had a lot of growing pain, and she still talks about how painful they were.

My son is starting to get some acne too, but it doesn't get bad unless he "forgets" to shower and/or more wash his face regularly.

My hair actually changed texture during puberty, so I wonder if that's what is happening to your daughter's hair?
alik1983
by Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 3:54 AM
3 moms liked this

I know exactly what you're going through!  So been there, done that.  Here's what I did - I hope it helps a little.

I took her to the dermotologist immediately after she started with the acne. Because I took her early, it was extremely easy to put under control.  She's 16 now and everyone compliments her on her skin.  Of course, once in a while, she'll have some "flare ups," but that's because she didn't put her topical on for a while.  :( She goes once a month for "liquid nitrogen" treatment - it's a real trip watching the assistant rub it on, but she says it doesn't hurt.  I remember how it was for me since my mom waited so long, that I didn't want to do that to my girl.  Dermos know so many different options; when I went, my friends and I all had the same medications.  But there are different options for different cases/ages.  They're so busy nowadays because of all the skin cancer fear, so ask your doctor for a dermo referral, I did and we love him!

Frizzy hair . . . my girl has a LOT of thick, wavy hair, too.  I would help her flat iron her hair until she went to high school.  Then, I agreed to splurge a bit and got her a straightening perm.  (Try finding a hair school as they're way cheaper.)  Use hair serum before flat ironing - it'll make it look really smooth and shiny.  :)  She just had highlights done and it damaged her hair so it, too, is extremely frizzy now.  But, use of a deep conditioner once a week; leave on hair conditioning; and the serum make a world of difference.  If you have a Sally Beauty Supplies near you, check them out.  They have a lot of "generic" products that are excellent and way cheaper.

As for the friend issues, well, that's a hard one.  Just be there for her like you're doing.  I held mine in my arms till she fell asleep on numerous occasions . . . .just wait till the BOY issues start!  LOL!  I know what you mean about feeling good on the outside.  Mine is dyslexic and had a hard time socially; I did the same as you, and tried to help with the outside appearances and it's helped.  I just took her to a sports psychologist to help her "mental" game in her air riflery matches, but the lessons he taught are so life lessons, too.  Maybe she can see someone to talk about things she can't talk to mom about; mine went to a child psychiatrist "just to talk" since they didn't have school counselors; it really helped her, too.

Don't worry, mom.  You're doing fine.  Just be there for her and let her know you went through the same things growing up (even if you never did)  and that you'll always be there for her.  

HUGS!!

bizzeemom2717
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 4:15 AM
Hugs! Growing pains are tough! I have been through with boy my DS and DD seemed tougher with my dd. I agree with the pp, my DS had acne and I ended up taking him to a dermatologist did wonders! When my dd was 14 we were proactive and I took her in early to help prevent what my DS went through.
My DD has naturally wavy hair. She uses a flat iron. It has def been well worth the investment to buy a Chi brand. They are about 100 but last a long time, have a warrant and work sooooooooo much better! Also a hot iron protectant to keep the hair from getting damaged by flat iron. Good luck.
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HilbillyMamaof3
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:19 AM
We actually bought a Chi about six months ago, protectant and all that. She has a birthmark she was born with and I guess that combined with thyroid problems and a bad color job that damaged the shit out of her hair (I should have taken them to small claims) from some over priced salon has made half her hair crazy! We're going to the "magic man" to see what he can do in two weeks. He's very expensive (at least for around here) but he's fixed her hair before. I'm praying it works.


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Hugs! Growing pains are tough! I have been through with boy my DS and DD seemed tougher with my dd. I agree with the pp, my DS had acne and I ended up taking him to a dermatologist did wonders! When my dd was 14 we were proactive and I took her in early to help prevent what my DS went through.

My DD has naturally wavy hair. She uses a flat iron. It has def been well worth the investment to buy a Chi brand. They are about 100 but last a long time, have a warrant and work sooooooooo much better! Also a hot iron protectant to keep the hair from getting damaged by flat iron. Good luck.

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:24 AM
1 mom liked this
A couple tips for curly/frizzy hair that it took me years to learn: don't comb or brush it once it's dry, if she has tangles and needs to comb it have her do so with a wide tooth comb while in the shower after she applies conditioner and before she rinses the conditioner out; use a diffuser instead is a regular blow dryer, don't dry the hair completely. I use an anti-frizz serum and mousse in my hair then let it air dry for about 10 minutes before using the diffuser. I then use a humidity control hairspray once I get it to the dryness level I want.
PurpleHazey
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:35 AM

awww, the poor thing, at this point I would work on self confidence. Every teen out there goes threw this helping her feel good about herself is all you can do.

PurpleHazey
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:36 AM

 


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Hugs! Growing pains are tough! I have been through with boy my DS and DD seemed tougher with my dd. I agree with the pp, my DS had acne and I ended up taking him to a dermatologist did wonders! When my dd was 14 we were proactive and I took her in early to help prevent what my DS went through.
My DD has naturally wavy hair. She uses a flat iron. It has def been well worth the investment to buy a Chi brand. They are about 100 but last a long time, have a warrant and work sooooooooo much better! Also a hot iron protectant to keep the hair from getting damaged by flat iron. Good luck.

good advice

 

bizzeemom2717
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Awww poor baby! I hope the magic stylist can help. Thyroid issues are miserable! Hang in there!

Quoting HilbillyMamaof3:

We actually bought a Chi about six months ago, protectant and all that. She has a birthmark she was born with and I guess that combined with thyroid problems and a bad color job that damaged the shit out of her hair (I should have taken them to small claims) from some over priced salon has made half her hair crazy! We're going to the "magic man" to see what he can do in two weeks. He's very expensive (at least for around here) but he's fixed her hair before. I'm praying it works.




Quoting bizzeemom2717:

Hugs! Growing pains are tough! I have been through with boy my DS and DD seemed tougher with my dd. I agree with the pp, my DS had acne and I ended up taking him to a dermatologist did wonders! When my dd was 14 we were proactive and I took her in early to help prevent what my DS went through.


My DD has naturally wavy hair. She uses a flat iron. It has def been well worth the investment to buy a Chi brand. They are about 100 but last a long time, have a warrant and work sooooooooo much better! Also a hot iron protectant to keep the hair from getting damaged by flat iron. Good luck.

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HilbillyMamaof3
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 4:23 PM
I know. It's so out of character for her though! We always have laughed about her confidence, but I agree and every teen goes through it.

She was better today, her catch phrase for the last year has been "well they hit puberty hard, or puberty was not nice to them" we were laughing and I told her it looked like puberty got ahold of her pretty good this summer and she was cracking up and said she should make a sign, lol! I was glad she is now taking it in stride.


Quoting PurpleHazey:

awww, the poor thing, at this point I would work on self confidence. Every teen out there goes threw this helping her feel good about herself is all you can do.


02nana07
by Ida on Aug. 5, 2013 at 8:20 AM

 Glad she is feeling better

Quoting HilbillyMamaof3:

I know. It's so out of character for her though! We always have laughed about her confidence, but I agree and every teen goes through it.

She was better today, her catch phrase for the last year has been "well they hit puberty hard, or puberty was not nice to them" we were laughing and I told her it looked like puberty got ahold of her pretty good this summer and she was cracking up and said she should make a sign, lol! I was glad she is now taking it in stride.


Quoting PurpleHazey:

awww, the poor thing, at this point I would work on self confidence. Every teen out there goes threw this helping her feel good about herself is all you can do.


 

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