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My 15yr. old is sexting..some boy she barley knows.

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My DD is sexting some boy she met a amusement park, they knew each other in the 3rd grade an haven't seen each again till this summer. She not allowed to date till she's 16, she's allowed to talk to her friends an thought this boy was just a friend, come to find out she has been getting up around two in the morning to do this with him. Me an my daughter have always been close an honest, so I thought. Her dad didn't like The way she was be so sneaky with her phone so he went threw her room an found her diary an I can't even repeat what she wrote. It was so nasty, she was writing about what they talked about. I need some advice on how to talk to her without killing her...Please help



I just wanted to thank everyone for their input, I have taken away her phone an computer privileges. I'm hoping we can work on the trust issues, but it will probably be a long time before I can trust her again. With all the advice I got on here, our conversation went a lot better than I thought. Thank you all so much an I will continue to keep a close eye on her
by on Aug. 14, 2013 at 6:05 PM
Replies (11-20):
MrsBLB
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:16 AM

I agree with the other moms.  How long did you take her phone away for not doing her clothes?  Good luck and please keep us updated.  

Sabrina7393
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 2:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I took her phone away for three days for not doing her chores. When I get done talking to her tonight I will update. Thanks again for all the good advice. I have calmed down alot. But she probably wont be getting her phone back for a long time if ever.
PoliteisRight
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 5:32 PM
2 moms liked this

Thank goodness you found out what she was doing.  So many teens get away with doing this.  Also kudos for looking through her room, if you feel your daughter is doing sneaky things, than by all means look under every nook and cranny.

It is our job as mothers of teen girls to talk them about sexting.   She needs a good strong converstion on how inappropriate this is and disrespetful it is to herself. 

She wants to write about it so, teens have been writing in diaries forever, we just have to make sure that they do not act out on this stuff.  We can't keep them locked in the house-although I wish we could at times, -but we have to convey to them that their actions can hurt her for the rest of her life.  

Hopefully your husband can talk with her from a guys perspective on how bad this is also.  He would know that at this age, guys are not always respectful to girls.

Good luck!!

SCMomOfTeen
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 6:24 PM
7 moms liked this

I would consider contacting the boy's parents.  I have boys and would want to know.  The boy also needs to be aware that if he is found with naked pics of an underage girl on his phone he could get dinged for child pornography!

deb51980
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 9:36 AM
2 moms liked this

Both sender and receiver can be "dinged" for child pornography....with a lifetime sex offender designation...no teaching, no job involving children, no "ethical" professions, and the requirement to register the new address every time they move.

If your underage child is convicted of murder, then it's prison until age 21 and then the record is wiped clean.  Somehow murder seems to be a lesser offense than photo sexting in this society.

Good-bye cell phone!

Quoting SCMomOfTeen:

I would consider contacting the boy's parents.  I have boys and would want to know.  The boy also needs to be aware that if he is found with naked pics of an underage girl on his phone he could get dinged for child pornography!



Sabrina7393
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:04 AM
2 moms liked this
I told the boys mom an she chose to believe her son an said my daughter was a liar. We talked to our daughter last night an she broke down an told us everything. She no longer has a phone an can never speak to this boy again. Thank you again for all the advice, it really helped.
lnrmom
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 12:38 PM

Talk to her about the dangers of sexting. Including the possible legal implication of both teens of having child pornography (because sexting eventually leads to dirty pics) on their phones. I'd talk to her about self-respect and what that means, and that until she has proven she is trustworthy she is on lockdown. No phone, no internet, no nothing.

I put a time lock on my girls phones, they can't be used after 11pm until like 6am.

PurpleHazey
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 3:08 PM

 


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Straight up be honest with her. tell the truth. Both you and DH need to sit down with her. You give her the Mom perspective.Dad needs to give her the Teen boy perspective and then the Dad one. I would be freakin horrified. her phone would be GONE ! As in until she has a job and can afford her own plan. He life as she knows it would be OVER. I would take everything including her door . She can not be trusted. She has proved that. her new life would be school, work and bedroom.

I agree

 

PurpleHazey
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 3:09 PM

 


Quoting lnrmom:

Talk to her about the dangers of sexting. Including the possible legal implication of both teens of having child pornography (because sexting eventually leads to dirty pics) on their phones. I'd talk to her about self-respect and what that means, and that until she has proven she is trustworthy she is on lockdown. No phone, no internet, no nothing.

I put a time lock on my girls phones, they can't be used after 11pm until like 6am.

I would remove the phone and the computer from her.

 

jodi43
by on Aug. 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM

my husband i  are going through the same thing my sd.but its worse she is talking to 3 boys we took her technology away  and she is in counceling.we talk to her about everything her and i are very close,but this has been going on for 2 years.the only problem is her mom is never on the same page.all you can do is stay calm and talk to her.

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