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question: facebook limits

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • 18 Replies

I have a 12 y/o son who has asked for facebook privileges.  

"Sorry, but Facebook has a minimum age of 13."  "But Mom, all the other kids have one."  

"And they lie about their age.  You know that's not how we do things in this house."

So far that has worked.  His 13th is approaching so that answer won't work anymore.  I've heard too much about facebook to be comfortable but I have to bow to the inevitable.

Rules I have formulated so far:

I am to be given friend status.  I will observe activity.  However, I won't post unless I'm invited.

Homework to be complete before Facebook activity and then only for a limited time.

No facebook friends who are not actual face friends.

.........so what has worked for you guys?

How do I explain about private information?  No personal data that an actual friend wouldn't already know in terms that a decent, intelligent, but a 13 y/o can understand?  No saying we're going to Disneyland for two weeks before we get back?  What list of information not to post.?

How to explain that it's permissible to say he has the hots for Willow Shields but not for a non-celeb girl in his circle?


by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 4:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Decemberlov
by Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 4:45 PM

you should have the password to his account no matter what.

scraphappy12
by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 4:45 PM
We also have the rule that we have passwords to the account , and yes we do check.
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Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 4:54 PM

I think to explain it is just how you said it now. explain what can happen. I worked at a high school and I have seen many children lose full scholarship to college because they did not like what was posted. My DD's high school includes it in the classroom curriculum. It is so good how they do it. We have the same rules at our house. At first any friend had to be cleared through me. Right now we have no issues and I am trusting her to add her own friends. My DD doesn't use it much anyways.

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 20, 2013 at 5:03 PM
I never had any issues with my girls facebooks. They are 19 and 22 now. They got My Space in 7th grade. Facebook when it started.
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deb51980
by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 5:08 PM

Yes, have the password.

Thank you for your replies so far.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Aug. 20, 2013 at 8:29 PM

 Up until about age 15 I have the password. My deal with my kids has always been same with texting don't give me a REASON to check, if I have to I will. So far my Ds age 20, I never ever had to check his fb (wouldn't now of course) or his texts, he enevr gave me a reason to worry. DD, age 15 only once and I sat her down with me while we read though her FB messages.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Aug. 20, 2013 at 8:30 PM

 Also have lots of talks (more than one) and keep talking about safety and the internet.

drfink
by Emily on Aug. 20, 2013 at 10:02 PM

 

Quoting bizzeemom2717:

 Up until about age 15 I have the password. My deal with my kids has always been same with texting don't give me a REASON to check, if I have to I will. So far my Ds age 20, I never ever had to check his fb (wouldn't now of course) or his texts, he enevr gave me a reason to worry. DD, age 15 only once and I sat her down with me while we read though her FB messages.

 ya pretty much the same here.Though with my daughter and now teen sons their older sibling(s) checked on their younger siblings far more than I ever have.So far pretty good.

drfink
by Emily on Aug. 20, 2013 at 10:04 PM

 

Quoting Jessiejack:

I think to explain it is just how you said it now. explain what can happen. 

 Agree ,if he is old enough for FB they can understand all that you have said.He is old enough to get it .

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Aug. 20, 2013 at 10:17 PM
Make sure he gives you his username and password. That is the only way you will be able to see his personal messages if you need too.
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