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HELP! Need advice..

Posted by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 1:24 AM
  • 15 Replies
Decided to check up on our 15 yr old sons Facebook only to discover explicit content in his messaging with a 17 yr old boy. How do we talk to him about it without telling him we've read his messages on Facebook? How do we tell him to delete the messages before anyone sees them? Our boy has Aspergers and is very sensitive.
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 1:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jessiejack
by Silver Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I let my kids know that at anytime I will and can read your messages so personally I would not hide the fact that I read the message. I would come right out and say it and tell him to delete it. But you know your child best so you need to do what's best for your family.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 7:22 AM
2 moms liked this

You tell him - I have a Asperger's daughter - and regardless of her sensitivity and her need for control - I always made sure that she knew I was boss. I made sure to explain to her the repercussoins of things, that the internet was not private - and then pretty much threatened her and told her that if she did not delete the message/comment/status/friend in question - then I would delete her facebook account - and the account we had for her on our computer. We gave her trust until she blew it and then nothing was private - explain to your son that you love him and that he doesn't always know right from wrong and that you need to keep him safe until he learns how to keep himself safe - I've never not been a parent just because of my DD's sensitivity - I've always maintained that no matter what - while she lives under my roof, I am the boss, and I do not care if setting rules makes her upset or keeps her from having "friends".

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Aug. 26, 2013 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this

You don't keep it a secret, at that age they do not have a 'right' to privacy. I never felt the need to snoop, well rarely, but they knew I could and would at anytime.

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Aug. 26, 2013 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Why would you need to keep it secret that you read his FB page? My kids knew that I could and would check up on them. Just sit him down, tell him what you saw and what your concerns are.
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Aug. 26, 2013 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Why keep it secret?    Tell him the truth and explain why the messages are inappropriate.    I have a son with aspergers, too.    He would see right through a lie.  He is extremely analytical and logical.




bizzeemom2717
by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell him as soon as you can. I agree with the pp, at that age it's a good idea for parents to monitor FB your DS proved it
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huntersmom1007
by Member on Aug. 27, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

If you are really against letting him know you read them tell him that a friend or relative saw it and brought it to your attention. 

Barabell
by Barbara on Aug. 27, 2013 at 10:53 PM


Quoting Jessiejack:

I let my kids know that at anytime I will and can read your messages so personally I would not hide the fact that I read the message. I would come right out and say it and tell him to delete it. But you know your child best so you need to do what's best for your family.

That is how I would handle it too.

Please update us on how it goes.

DearMommy4
by on Aug. 27, 2013 at 11:05 PM
1 mom liked this


This is what I tell my teenagers. They are also not allowed to de-friend either myself or their dad or change passwords until they either move out or buy/pay for the computer/internet bill. I do read their fb messages and even their text messages as I'm the parent.

Quoting Jessiejack:

I let my kids know that at anytime I will and can read your messages so personally I would not hide the fact that I read the message. I would come right out and say it and tell him to delete it. But you know your child best so you need to do what's best for your family.



PrideMums
by Ana & Nikki on Aug. 28, 2013 at 6:20 AM
Because it wasn't on his page it was in a private chat inbox messages I actually had to log into his account to read them.


Quoting fammatthews4:

Why would you need to keep it secret that you read his FB page? My kids knew that I could and would check up on them. Just sit him down, tell him what you saw and what your concerns are.

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