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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

What to do when teenager runs off?

Posted by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:33 PM
  • 32 Replies

When my teenager is being disciplined and she doesn't "want to talk about it" any longer, she runs off. If I have to call her out and her then inappropriate behavior, such as slamming doors or swearing, she storms out the front door and leaves. How do I handle this?  As much as I want to run after hear, and drag her by her hair home (Im thinking old school when I tried that ONCE on my mom), I know thats not the solution.  But in here eyes she wins.  She no longer wants to face the consequences, she no longer wnats to be puniched or discuss her wrong doings so she avoids it, shuts it out and storms off.  As a kid growing up in the 70's, Id not been able to sit down for a week with that behavior.  She is turning into a whiny brat to say the least and when she gets called out, she wont take accountablity.  Ive talked to her over and over again, nothing gets through to this child.  What do I do???

by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:57 PM
2 moms liked this

I guess if she were my kid I'd probably start the conversation with, "Give me your phone."  Then I'd tell her if she decides to run off, I'm keeping the phone for (the rest of the day/2 days/a week/whatever you feel is appropriate).  If she doesn't have a phone I'd use whatever gadget she has that she thinks she can't live without (iPod, TV in her room, laptop, etc.).  The reaction we get from the mere threat of taking one of our daughter's phones away is pretty impressive. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 29, 2013 at 2:05 PM
3 moms liked this
Rock her world. No phone, friends, computer, nothing.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrsBLB
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 2:13 PM

This, and be firm.

Quoting atlmom2:

Rock her world. No phone, friends, computer, nothing.


luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 4:35 PM
5 moms liked this

Well I'm old school cause I would chase them down and drag them home. It's a huge pet peeve of mine, right up there with hanging the phone up on me. 

The problem with letting them leave is they win, which you already know, so you can't let them leave. If they insist upon leaving then they better be finding somewhere else to stay. 

I'd also be taking everything away from them. No phones, no computer. They'd have one or two outfits for school, but no make-up or blow driers/straighteners ect,.. Life would be getting very difficult for them.

worriedmom606
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

I have this same problem with my teen daughter.  I'm sorry I don't have a solution for you, but hope you take comfort in knowing you are not alone in your struggle.   My daughter takes no responsibilitiy for her mistakes, but blames them on me.  If she did somethig wrong, she claims it is because I am such a terrible parent.  I keep hoping she will grow out of it.  I hope yours will too.  Good luck!

 

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 5:41 PM
2 moms liked this
I would and HAVE chased mine down. I've also punished for hanging up on me, saying 'whatever' as a goodbye, etc. mine tends to hide in the bathroom though whenever she doesn't want to deal with consequences, so I've started unlocking the door and just going in there. It sucks when they try and hide so much.
bizzeemom2717
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 6:30 PM

 

Quoting atlmom2:

Rock her world. No phone, friends, computer, nothing.

 This take her priv away

Wills_Wifey
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 7:14 PM
Oh I am the same way! My 12 year old tried to walk out of the house during a discussion. I brought him back and he lost everything that he held near and dear to his heart.

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Well I'm old school cause I would chase them down and drag them home. It's a huge pet peeve of mine, right up there with hanging the phone up on me. 

The problem with letting them leave is they win, which you already know, so you can't let them leave. If they insist upon leaving then they better be finding somewhere else to stay. 

I'd also be taking everything away from them. No phones, no computer. They'd have one or two outfits for school, but no make-up or blow driers/straighteners ect,.. Life would be getting very difficult for them.

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
The other thing I did (and my dd is autistic so this may not work for you) was go back to toddler supervision, I took her keys, I locked all doors from the inside, took the lock off the bathroom and bedroom doors, and I was then able to corner her to take her phone/iPod/whatever. I took all her 'teenage' privileges away. If she started screaming at me or blocking her ears, I sat and waited till she let me speak. Longest I sat was 2 hours. That was the last time she pulled that crap.
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 9:18 PM
2 moms liked this

lock the door and dont let them back in til they beg and agree to follow the rules .

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