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Very concerned after a conversation with my daughter

Posted by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 10:44 AM
  • 12 Replies

My dd is almost 15.  She has a boyfriend and he's a good kid. No complaints about him.  His mother however is a huge pos.  She's a  horrible woman.  Life at home for the boy is really not a great place to be.  So my dd comes to me last night with a "plan"  Which was for him to run away.  I pointed out running  away for him really isn't a good idea because he's not even 15 yet and could not support himself and it would actually be much worse.  so she goes back to thinking then comes back to me again suggesting that him and her both get jobs after school and since i support her she could give him her money  that way he can support himself.  I pointed out again that even if they both had after school jobs and she gave him every penny he still could not support himself at almost 15.  So she goes back to thinking and decided that he has to wait until he's 16.  then she decided that sicne she will get to college first because she is 2 grades ahead of him that when they hit 18 and she starts college they can get an apt together then.   I know she's just worried about him an all that.  But she really made me start to worry with talk of running away.  I was 16 when i left home and moved cross country with my then boyfriend (now husband) and she knows this and knows that it worked out for me.  I'm grateful that she came to me with her "plan" but i cant help but worry.

by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 10:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 30, 2013 at 11:08 AM
She needs to stop worrying about him. They probably are not going to be together in a year.
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Hannahluvsdogs
by Silver Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 11:47 AM

I would encourage her to focus instead on ways to help him deal with living at home.

disastermind
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 12:17 PM

I'd tell her that the only thing she can really do right now is be there for him. I'd also sit her down and explain to her that while things worked out for you and her father, it doesn't usually work out that way and not to do anything without coming to you first.

02nana07
by Ida on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:22 PM

 just wondering how old he is since she is 15 and 2 grades ahead of him

HopesNDreams
by Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 2:38 PM
Have you met the mother?

SD16 had her boyfriend and a friend convinced that our home was a nightmare and that she was mistreated horribly. In reality, she is mentally ill and is recreating the abuse she suffered as a young child with her BM and SF. Your daughter's boyfriend's home life may actually bear no resemblance to what he is describing.
Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 3:03 PM

If this young man's life is really that horrible he is seriously considering running away, if it were me I would contact the school guidence counsulor.  They have access to the resources that can help him.  Your daughter is still a child herself and she can't be expected to take on the problems he is dealing with.  It will eventually have a negative effect on her.  While she can continue to be supportive, he really needs the help of adults that know how to deal with these issues.

squeekers
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by Member on Aug. 30, 2013 at 3:30 PM

 I would worry also

sabrtooth1
by on Aug. 30, 2013 at 4:17 PM

She's 14.  Too young for a boyfriend.  To young for all this drama.  What are you going to do when she decides to sneak him into her bedroom?  Stop this NOW.  Tell your dd that if she persists, you will call DCFS and then the boy will be taken into safe foster care.

Msgme
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 4:17 PM



Quoting Txlisa7969:

If this young man's life is really that horrible he is seriously considering running away, if it were me I would contact the school guidence counsulor.  They have access to the resources that can help him.  Your daughter is still a child herself and she can't be expected to take on the problems he is dealing with.  It will eventually have a negative effect on her.  While she can continue to be supportive, he really needs the help of adults that know how to deal with these issues.

I have met the mother and she is from what i've seen exactly as he describes.  and his home life sucks.  Just doesnt suck enough for child services.  He is also in therapy that was set u by his counselor in school almost 2 years ago.  He does suffer from depression and his mother does not help in any way.


Msgme
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting sabrtooth1:

She's 14.  Too young for a boyfriend.  To young for all this drama.  What are you going to do when she decides to sneak him into her bedroom?  Stop this NOW.  Tell your dd that if she persists, you will call DCFS and then the boy will be taken into safe foster care.


Altho  I do appreciate your opinion  I dont think 14 is to young for a boyfriend. At least not in the sense that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.    There is no sneaking him  anywhere.    I will not threaten her to ruin this kids life anymore  than he already has to deal with because she cares about him. 

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