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Caught them in his bed

Posted by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:03 PM
  • 34 Replies

Not too long ago I made a post about my 18 year old son dating a 16 year old girl. They are still dating, but my son recently turned 19 so now the age difference is 16 and 19. Well the other day, I went into his room to see if he was home and I caught him and this girl in his bed together. They were fully dressed so I'm not sure what I walked in on if I walked in on anything. I left the room without saying anything but now I don't really know what to say to my son. He is 19 so I'm not surprised by this, I'm just very concerned that this girl is only 16.

by on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 1, 2013 at 4:16 PM
8 moms liked this
I would have said right then this is not appropriate and to get out of his room. It is your house, your rules. Huge age gap too. Bedrooms are off limits.
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drfink
by Emily on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:05 PM

 

Quoting atlmom2:

I would have said right then this is not appropriate and to get out of his room. It is your house, your rules. Huge age gap too. Bedrooms are off limits.

 said perfectly

epykpysmom
by Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:14 PM
2 moms liked this

I see a couple of issues here:

1) Their age gap is HUGE!  They may not think so, but he is 19, considered to be an "adult" and she is still a minor.  Should the relationship ever go sour and she claims they had sex, he will be in big trouble.  (this is the case in my state, not sure what the laws are where you are so you might want to do a little research)

2) He should NEVER have her over to your house when an adult is not home.  When she is over, he must keep the bedroom door OPEN, but even better, tell him "they are NOT allowed in the bedroom."  There really is no need to entertain the girl in his bedroom.  (the same rules apply when he is at her house.)


Sounds like both you and your son are feeling kind of awkward about you walking in on them.  However, I think since you are the parent, you need to bite the bullet, start talking about what you saw, and then share rules with him. He will probably say they were not doing anything, but at least you will get your point across about what you will not condone under your roof.  Good luck.

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:22 PM
1 mom liked this
I let mine know before adulthood, no sleeping with anyone of the opposite sex unmarried. I don't care if you are 40. Respect my house, my rules.
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specialwingz
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Your house, your rules!  He needs to know that he is risking statutory rape charges.  If this girl's parents get pissed off, guess who they are going to come after.  My twin boys were 18 their Senior year.  That's how we kept them on the straight and narrow.  The fear of jail can be a powerful thing.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 5:53 PM

I agree with this completely!

Quoting epykpysmom:

I see a couple of issues here:

1) Their age gap is HUGE!  They may not think so, but he is 19, considered to be an "adult" and she is still a minor.  Should the relationship ever go sour and she claims they had sex, he will be in big trouble.  (this is the case in my state, not sure what the laws are where you are so you might want to do a little research)

2) He should NEVER have her over to your house when an adult is not home.  When she is over, he must keep the bedroom door OPEN, but even better, tell him "they are NOT allowed in the bedroom."  There really is no need to entertain the girl in his bedroom.  (the same rules apply when he is at her house.)


Sounds like both you and your son are feeling kind of awkward about you walking in on them.  However, I think since you are the parent, you need to bite the bullet, start talking about what you saw, and then share rules with him. He will probably say they were not doing anything, but at least you will get your point across about what you will not condone under your roof.  Good luck.


my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Sep. 1, 2013 at 9:27 PM
2 moms liked this

I would remind him that heis an adult and she is not, there are dire consequences!  Also. sit them both down and let them know that there are rules in your house, and remind your son, that as an adult, he can leave if he does not like them. 

Not_A_Native
by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 3:04 AM

 


Quoting specialwingz:

Your house, your rules!  He needs to know that he is risking statutory rape charges.  If this girl's parents get pissed off, guess who they are going to come after.  My twin boys were 18 their Senior year.  That's how we kept them on the straight and narrow.  The fear of jail can be a powerful thing.

Not in every state.  The age of consent here in WA is 16.  Some states are lower.

 

GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:20 AM

My child would be asked to leave my house if they ever disrespected it like that.

SnowWhieQueen
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 6:25 AM
2 moms liked this

i tell my boys to never allow ur self to be alone with a girl its a respect thing for her...and u never know what they might say....but then again my boys are 13& 11...

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