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What would you do if your teen was assaulted? (edit) she does not want us to hug her or kiss her....

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:07 AM
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She just turned 10 years old a month ago... Last night all in tears told me, that while we were visiting my best friend of 10 years, her son of 12 years old, locked her in his room and told her to put her pants down. She told him "No" but he did not listen to her and grabbed her by force and kissed her. She was paralyzed with fear and told me, she could not free herself. He forced his hand into her underwear and touched her private parts.

After, she told me all of these...I went to my friends house to tell her what my Daughter just told me, and I demanded to talk to her son. At first he lied and denied all. When I told him he better tell me the true or I call the cops, he told me what he did. He also, told me how wrong he was and how sorry he is... I hugged my friend, who was in tears as much as I was, and left!!

Thank you so much Cafe-mom's, for your emotional support through the distance.

Doing the best AS HER MOTHER I filled a report..... The child was charged with LEWDNESS WITH A MINOR UNDER 14.

While waiting the process to run its curse, My daughter is already showing sings of being affected by what happened...she refused to sleep by herself in her room; she is sleeping in our room, on a couch near our bed. She does not want us to touch her in any way of form, therefore no hugs or kisses. She is only allowing me, to do so and she said "BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOM!!!" I am heartbreaking to see her going through all of this, please advice!

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 10:13 AM
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get your dd into see a therapist who can help her. You need to decide if you want to press charges. That will be one tough decision. I wish you are your dd the best. hugs mama.

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:11 AM

 


Quoting lucky2Beeme:

get your dd into see a therapist who can help her. You need to decide if you want to press charges. That will be one tough decision. I wish you are your dd the best. hugs mama.

Thank you so much for replying...

Please, educate me if you have some information; what will happen pressing charges???

 

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this
Get your DD help, and demand that your friend get her son into therapy also. If they refuse, then go to the police.

My concern would be where did this boy learn this behavior, and was something done to him that led him to do it to my child.
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM
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There will be an investigation. They will talk to both kids and most likely all adults who were present.
Monsita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:56 AM

 


Quoting luckysevenwow:

There will be an investigation. They will talk to both kids and most likely all adults who were present.


 Thank you so much for the information....maybe you can tell me, if you know.....being them both minors...would CPS be involved, cops, and courts dates?  what kind of punishment are there for kids acting these way!!??

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:02 PM
I had a friend who's son was accused, and found to be false, when he was 16.

There was an investigation, there were lawyers, there was also a CPS investigation. My friend could have had her youngest son removed (I was on stand by to get him). Because the proof stood in his favor there were no court dates, but I'd assume there could be.

As for punishment I think that would be up to the judge and what mental health professionals determined was the reason for the young boys actions.


Quoting Monsita:

 




Quoting luckysevenwow:

There will be an investigation. They will talk to both kids and most likely all adults who were present.



 Thank you so much for the information....maybe you can tell me, if you know.....being them both minors...would CPS be involved, cops, and courts dates?  what kind of punishment are there for kids acting these way!!??

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 12:12 PM

Quoting luckysevenwow:

I had a friend who's son was accused, and found to be false, when he was 16.

There was an investigation, there were lawyers, there was also a CPS investigation. My friend could have had her youngest son removed (I was on stand by to get him). Because the proof stood in his favor there were no court dates, but I'd assume there could be.

As for punishment I think that would be up to the judge and what mental health professionals determined was the reason for the young boys actions.


Quoting Monsita:

 




Quoting luckysevenwow:

There will be an investigation. They will talk to both kids and most likely all adults who were present.



 Thank you so much for the information....maybe you can tell me, if you know.....being them both minors...would CPS be involved, cops, and courts dates?  what kind of punishment are there for kids acting these way!!??


Thank you so much for all of these information....I know I want to do what is needed for me to stop this, from happening to another little girl...I want to protect my little girl too FROM THE PAIN of having to deal with all of these under the law eyes..... Her Dad works for the State, once I will tell him, he will SEARCH FOR JUSTICE TO THE MAX!!! and though it is noble and all, I am not sure if it best!!!
drfink
by Emily on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM
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This happened to my daughter when she was 5 .She didn't tell me immediately that day,she had been threatened she would get  in trouble also for showing her privates.That early evening I walked in to our den while fixing dinner and she had a giant utensil cooking spoon stuck in her pants and underwear covering her genitalia.I was surprised and asked her ...very calmly while my heart and head were spinning ...what was she playing.She told me she was a power ranger with a force shield.I sat with her and I was the power ranger and she was who was attacking her.She showed me.I called a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist I know and we were worked in the next day.She drew pictures and role played.I contacted the friend that day.Her son was 10 ,he denied then admitted what had happened.The mother and father got recommendations immediately and their son was taken to see a psychiatrist for a very long time.When I had worked and had clients that had been abused I often imagined if that happened when I had children I would get one of our deer rifles and do me some hunting of the not deer kind.Thank God I didn't.

His parents apologized to my daughter and reassured her he would never touch her again.My daughter saw her doc for a few months .She moved away from it having any more effects in her life.Her doc said that it was not unusual ....one time ,by a peer ,protected by her parents ,the parents of the "bad guy" stepping in and protecting her also...at least in her mind his mommy and daddy got mad at him (a childs view) and a chance immediately to feel secure.She is a senior away at college.It seems to have had no lasting effect.In H.S. a bf told her it was time to have sex or he was breaking up blah blah blah asshole.She said she needed to go to the restroom and was thirsty,They stopped at a Jack in the Box...she called us and her bff....we went and got her.So it certainly didn't make her feel vulnerable to jerks.

I would let the psychiatrist be your guide...your child is your interest.The parents took a recommendation from our psychiatrist on someone that had a specialty in male pre and adolescents that had done a minimal amount of non penetrating assaults.I know he was in an after school program for a year.I was unable to remain friends with the parents.I was angry at the boy and simply didn't want to be around him so I could focus on my family not my anger.I have through channels kept up ,he is an adult ,married seems to haven't had any more trouble.It could have been a blip of very bad judgment or it could have been the begging of behaviors that were stopped with the program.I don't know.

For your daughter you need to do what is best for her .

Good luck ,huge hugs ,breath and when you get a chance do something soothing ,relaxing and enjoyable for you....lol...I know way easier said than done.I  needed some meds so I would sleep all night for several months.

disastermind
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:54 PM
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I would get her into therapy.

What is your friend planning on doing about her son? I really hope she plans on getting him some help.

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:26 PM
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Press charges.
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