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HOW DO I TEACH MY TEENAGE SON TO SAY 'NO' WHEN HE HAS TOO

Posted by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:22 PM
  • 15 Replies

I have a teenage son who I feel is very well mannered.But the biggest drawback in being so well mannered and also an introvert is that, he is not able to say 'no' to anyone.I feel his friends are taking advantage of this and keep borrowing his things and do not bother to return them.I try reasoning with him but he just fails to see my view point.These are small instances but i fear it might lead him into some kind of trouble later in life.I fear he might get into something because of peer pressure.How do I get to make him see my view point. Please help.

by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Something taught when they are little and through teen years. Something that you just keep telling him. Does he not believe they are taking advantage of him?? School of hard knocks when he loses things due to him allowing people to take advantage of him.
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kailu1835
by on Sep. 7, 2013 at 1:34 PM
If you have waited this long to teach him how to say no, its too late.
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Sep. 7, 2013 at 3:44 PM
3 moms liked this
I disagree. It's not too late to teach a new skill. Work on building your son's self esteem. I would encourage his talents, encourage him to pursue activities he naturally excels at and seek friends out at those activities. Don't be false or fake in giving compliments he will see through this, but be genuine. He is also old enough to listen and understand when you sit him down and explain your concerns about his friends, just pick the right time. Good luck :)

Quoting kailu1835:

If you have waited this long to teach him how to say no, its too late.
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Monsita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 7, 2013 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this

You did teach him....

ALL MOTHERS DO!!

It is just this phase (teen years) in their lives, when finding out WHO THEY ARE, made them forget how to say "NO" 

Keep the communication channels open, and keep on reminding him that you did teach him how to stand by himself!!! 

PurpleHazey
by Angie on Sep. 7, 2013 at 7:16 PM

He needs to learn to trust you.

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Sep. 7, 2013 at 11:29 PM


Quoting atlmom2:

Something taught when they are little and through teen years. Something that you just keep telling him. Does he not believe they are taking advantage of him?? School of hard knocks when he loses things due to him allowing people to take advantage of him.

Yep.    Once bitten, twice shy.




02nana07
by Ida on Sep. 8, 2013 at 6:47 AM

 My husband was the same way and hasn't changed much he trust everyone and has a problem saying no.  He says that is what I am for I tell them no when they try to take advantage so they don't like me LOL

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 8, 2013 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this

 Are you replacing the things his friends "borrow"?  If so, stop replacing them and see if he doesn't start asking for them back or stop letting them treat him like a door mat

vlynn.iowa
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 10:17 AM

If I thought my kids's friend were taking advantage of them I would request that they stop lending/doing things to/for them.  I would then add; "just tell your friends that my mom said I can's and she'll be really mad at me if I do".  I told them to put the blame on me if their friends ever asked them to do something or to borow something that they didn't want to do or lend.  

Barabell
by Barbara on Sep. 8, 2013 at 12:46 PM

Various conversations about how saying no is not a bad thing and that friends that walk all over him may not be real friends at all.

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