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Well Taking Your Advice

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 8:52 AM
  • 10 Replies

 Let's see if it works.  Explained to hubby this isn't a bandaid or a "quick fix".  This is a long term solution.  It's not going to happen over night.

So my son is moving in the basement (cleaned out the office) and I am getting to move upstairs alone.  I have to put padlocks on everything and they will live seperate from me and the girls. 

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 8:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:13 AM

Good for you.    I hope this works outs....  is Hubby on board?




fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:53 AM
1 mom liked this

 HE is the one who made the decision to do it.  He's not happy about it, in fact he's down right miserable about it.  I told him the severity that goes along with it.  It's not a bandaid, it's for him and his son to work it out and get it to where he is no longer the jerk that he is or until he turns 18 and he can be legally removed from the house.  I cannot have the girls, especially the youngest with the stress he causes because she will not be able to go into remission if he goes not stop with the madness.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Good for you.    I hope this works outs....  is Hubby on board?

 

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:13 AM


Quoting fantasticfour:

 HE is the one who made the decision to do it.  He's not happy about it, in fact he's down right miserable about it.  I told him the severity that goes along with it.  It's not a bandaid, it's for him and his son to work it out and get it to where he is no longer the jerk that he is or until he turns 18 and he can be legally removed from the house.  I cannot have the girls, especially the youngest with the stress he causes because she will not be able to go into remission if he goes not stop with the madness.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Good for you.    I hope this works outs....  is Hubby on board?

 

I agree.  I so hope this works for your family!  I hope your Dh steps up to the plate and reigns that boy in.... 




cat4458
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:02 PM

 


Quoting boys2men2soon:


Quoting fantasticfour:

 HE is the one who made the decision to do it.  He's not happy about it, in fact he's down right miserable about it.  I told him the severity that goes along with it.  It's not a bandaid, it's for him and his son to work it out and get it to where he is no longer the jerk that he is or until he turns 18 and he can be legally removed from the house.  I cannot have the girls, especially the youngest with the stress he causes because she will not be able to go into remission if he goes not stop with the madness.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Good for you.    I hope this works outs....  is Hubby on board?

 

I agree.  I so hope this works for your family!  I hope your Dh steps up to the plate and reigns that boy in.... 

Good, esp since it was his decision.  Hope it works for you all!

 

mama3p
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 4:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Why?

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 5:23 PM

????????????

drfink
by Emily on Sep. 9, 2013 at 5:41 PM

 Oh bless your heart.I really hope with your husband experiencing everything the two of you can come together and figure out what to do ...TOGETHER...not just you for his son.As I said earlier he is doing a disservice to your son as well as his daughters to not help make hard decisions and enforce them.

Good luck !!!! So hopes this helps ,I know you are just at your wits end.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 6:47 PM

Good luck!

1kidmomajm
by Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 7:51 PM

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. But taking this action is the best thing. I hope some real changes will be made. Good luck to everyone in your family.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:47 PM

 Apparently alot of you don't know the entire story.  Here is a summary.  Basically he's been so misbehaved in the last year we are on first name bases with the police.  He's pissed off that he failed courses and has to repeat some, isn't in the courses he wants, and blames us because he didn't do his homework.  The violence and agression he has shown COULD be a cause for my youngest daughter's medical condition and the doctors are leaning more and more towards it since he seems to be a trigger in her flare ups. 

He has been to see counselors, therapists, and even hospitalized for his irrational behavior and illogical choices.  Every last one of them says he is a normal teenage boy.  Police will do nothing because no one outside of the family will press charges for the items he has stolen or the aggression he has shown.  The Police will not arrest him unless he does something SERIOUS like actually harm one of us.  The police are no help.  We have tried everything to get him to succeed and tried everything to let him fail, but he is determined to make everyone else's life so miserable that it is unbearable.

My youngest daughter could DIE from complications due to stress.  We made a decision based on the suggestions we received here that it would be best if we physically seperated so I could give our daughters the love and attention they deserve, while he gives his son the discipline and the structure he needs.  I cannot do all of it, he cannot do all of it, and together, we get in each other's way.

It sucks that I have to go through this, but when it comes down to it, my sick child is much more important than at 17 year old who wants to make everyone miserable. 

I'm making the best of it.  I bought new sheets.  I'm going to doll up the bathroom girly because us girls are the only ones using it.  I'm going to spend some quality time with 2 girls who haven't been getting much of it since he started his crap about 2 years ago and really suffered last year when it got worse.  I'm also treating this like when we started dating, cracking jokes about "walking me home" at bedtime, and him being in "my room" and "getting caught".  The girls "caught" us in my room with the door shut and were giggling about it and I told them if I wasn't able to hide it from them, they would NEVER be able to hide it from me lol.  We weren't doing anything, just talking and hiding from the girls.

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