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Not every situation fits everyone

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 2:41 PM
  • 14 Replies
I have what I thought was a really good friend. Good sounding board for ideas, good listener for when I had problems. Lately though she's been going really quiet. I am high strung, I know it, but even more so lately because of the BS with my son. Now that the plan is in action for me to move to the ground floor with my daughters (who were already here) and move my son to the basement with his father (who was already there) I am getting greif for it. The quiet judging. The not wanting to talk to me, the not wanting to answer the phone, the constantly having somewhere she HAS to be at that moment I call. Do people not understand that it is hard enough not being able to go to sleep in the same bed as my husband I do not need the judgement that YOU wouldn't do this or that it wouldn't happen in YOUR home? Yet you have no ideas to throw me? To offer me any suggestions other than "I wish he'd get his stuff together". Well wish in one hand and poop in the other, see which one fills up first. OK Done rant. Thanks for letting me vent.

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 2:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Monsita
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM

hugs

drfink
by Emily on Sep. 9, 2013 at 6:13 PM

 She is ignoring you because yall are trying to work things out for your family ?I am sorry ....does she have a great plan or something for yall ...smh .

Sorry !

lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 6:46 PM
sorry mama. Its so hurtful when we think we can count on someone to understand us and they let us down.
luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 6:52 PM
1 mom liked this

She doesn't understand. Yes, it sucks the way she is acting, but if she doesn't understand and she can't agree with your choices, she has to do what feels right for her.

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:49 PM

 No she doesn't have any great plan.  That's the problem.  She just feels what I am doing is wrong and that's all there is to it.  Would be nice to at least be able to talk to her, even if we don't talk about what's going on at my place.

Quoting drfink:

 She is ignoring you because yall are trying to work things out for your family ?I am sorry ....does she have a great plan or something for yall ...smh .

Sorry !

 

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:49 PM
Quoting lucky2Beeme:

sorry mama. Its so hurtful when we think we can count on someone to understand us and they let us down.
Thanks

fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Sep. 9, 2013 at 11:50 PM
Quoting luckysevenwow:

She doesn't understand. Yes, it sucks the way she is acting, but if she doesn't understand and she can't agree with your choices, she has to do what feels right for her.

What feels right to her? Which is judge me for something I feel I have to do? This isn't something I want to do, but she has no ideas, no suggestions, just judging. If she doesn't agree with it, fine, no problem there, not every situation fits everyone, BUT don't make me out to be the villian because it doesn't fit your idea of a family.

gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:07 AM

There used to be a term for this: Fair Weather Friend.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Slow down, I didn't pass any judgement on you, and yes what's right for her. What feels right, what she is willing to live with. You're right it isn't her choice, it's yours, and your husbands, but that doesn't mean everyone will agree with it. It makes her uncomfortable (honestly not sure why) and she is entitled to feel how she does.

Just as you are entitled to judge her for not being more understanding.


Quoting fantasticfour:

Quoting luckysevenwow:

She doesn't understand. Yes, it sucks the way she is acting, but if she doesn't understand and she can't agree with your choices, she has to do what feels right for her.



What feels right to her? Which is judge me for something I feel I have to do? This isn't something I want to do, but she has no ideas, no suggestions, just judging. If she doesn't agree with it, fine, no problem there, not every situation fits everyone, BUT don't make me out to be the villian because it doesn't fit your idea of a family.
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Sep. 10, 2013 at 1:48 AM
2 moms liked this
Either she is not the friend you thought she was or she is being a very caring friend who can no longer stand to be involved in your life for whatever reason she feels? I had a good friend who refused to make her situation better for herself or her children (it was an abusive situation, ESP for her kids) so a few good friends and myself backed off. She did see the light thank goodness shortly afterwards, however we did sit her down and explain why. In no way am I saying you are in an abusive situation or your friend feels this way, you just may want to take into consideration why she's so frustrated if she has been a good friend up until this point? She may not be passing judgement per say but sending you a painful, yet truthful message, that's for you to figure out. Good luck.
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