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Need advice about my 14 year old

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 5:59 PM
  • 14 Replies
I have a 14 year old son he is and has always been a serious behavior problems; defiance as main issue and lies. Now that he got to high school he is skipping 1, 2, and 6 period and I am being told if he does not stop I will be sent to court and fined?! How is that my fault once he leaves my home to get to school it is out of my hands. He is only 30 minutes away from school. And car and license is not an option for us. All his 14 years of stress by him and society has caused me stress related illnesses and this is not helping my health that is permanent damage anyways. And now this?! Any ideas on this to fight this that it is my son's doing not me plus I have 2 other kids that are great and listen and are model students as I am. And one is recking havoc on our life's peace.
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 5:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:00 PM

What have you done In his 14 years to try to get his behavior in line?

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:03 PM
2 moms liked this
Sit with him in class a couple days.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Take him to school and walk him to his classroom. Tell him you will do so every day until he agrees to stay at school and attend all of his classes. I would think he'd take you up on that out of sheer embarrassment.
bizzeemom2717
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 6:19 PM
I was honestly thinking the same thing. He is your son, your child, your responsibility as a minor. Just because he leaves your home doesn't mean you are not responsible? However it's up to you at this point to set boundaries and hold HIM accountable for his actions. Hopefully you have been doing this all along as well as teaching and following through with consequences for his actions.

Quoting Andrewsmom70:

What have you done In his 14 years to try to get his behavior in line?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mariah95945
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:06 PM
Counseling, therapy, home and school programs recommended, groundings, lecturing, all other forms of reward systems, and some point medicines psychiatrist he seen. Any voluntary programs referred to and nothing just one bad or criminal act by him from one year to another something new just that past few month he decided to skip class and not come home till he feels like it. Called police and scared straight programs even some tough love ultimatums. Just stress and misery from him till my health is failing from it all.


Quoting Andrewsmom70:

What have you done In his 14 years to try to get his behavior in line?


Mariah95945
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:07 PM
Not able to take him to classes I have other kid in lower grade that starts later than high school and a toddler not school age yet. She'll be home school when she is.Not able to take him to classes I have other kid in lower grade that starts later than high school and a toddler not school age yet. She'll be home school when she is.


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

Take him to school and walk him to his classroom. Tell him you will do so every day until he agrees to stay at school and attend all of his classes. I would think he'd take you up on that out of sheer embarrassment.

drfink
by Emily on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:24 PM

 In my county you are responsible for him till he is no longer a minor.I have been a volunteer juvenile probation officer .At least in my county parents are held responsible for truants.Take your chances I guess ,some parents are able to show up with enough evidence and support from the school to keep from being held accountable by the courts.The caveat to that is parents can also wind up with out any say so.

Unless you are destitute most juvenile courts are loathe to appoint an atty .,they get too many cases re filed on appeal due to less than adequate counsel.So be prepared to cough up 3 to 4 thousand bucks.

Just letting you know how truancy and parents are viewed in my county.

Quoting Mariah95945:

Not able to take him to classes I have other kid in lower grade that starts later than high school and a toddler not school age yet. She'll be home school when she is.Not able to take him to classes I have other kid in lower grade that starts later than high school and a toddler not school age yet. She'll be home school when she is.


Quoting OHgirlinCA:

Take him to school and walk him to his classroom. Tell him you will do so every day until he agrees to stay at school and attend all of his classes. I would think he'd take you up on that out of sheer embarrassment.


Mariah95945
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Yes I have always given him consequences and did all that I could and can for him and to raise him and I have three others kids that are model students and does everything they have to and expected to. It is not a parents fault if a child is born with behavior problems and defies any and all authority all his childhood and now teens. Did not raise him to be the way he is. Strong Christian morals and values in my home.


Quoting bizzeemom2717:

I was honestly thinking the same thing. He is your son, your child, your responsibility as a minor. Just because he leaves your home doesn't mean you are not responsible? However it's up to you at this point to set boundaries and hold HIM accountable for his actions. Hopefully you have been doing this all along as well as teaching and following through with consequences for his actions.



Quoting Andrewsmom70:

What have you done In his 14 years to try to get his behavior in line?


Mariah95945
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Well I am disabled and have nothing to pay so they are adding stress on top of the strews my sons caused me for years and I have several doctors and tests that prove all my health issues are all stress related issues. I know I have done all I can do except never spanked him like My generation knew parents could but can't and I don't believe in spanking anyway. And never been cause I listened to my parents by word like my other three just the one I have the trouble with.


Quoting Mariah95945:

Not able to take him to classes I have other kid in lower grade that starts later than high school and a toddler not school age yet. She'll be home school when she is.Not able to take him to classes I have other kid in lower grade that starts later than high school and a toddler not school age yet. She'll be home school when she is.




Quoting OHgirlinCA:

Take him to school and walk him to his classroom. Tell him you will do so every day until he agrees to stay at school and attend all of his classes. I would think he'd take you up on that out of sheer embarrassment.


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