Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Seeking advice for high school teenager

Posted by   + Show Post

Hi my name is Angel and i would like to meet other parents of teenage boys.MY son is 15yrs old and now in fourth form of a High flier High school in my country but as of late he lost interest in his school work and is always on his computer playing fifa.He gets home from school get something to eat and straight to his computer.I need to know how i can help him without we getting into a fight all the time.Do other parents experience the same?i would appreciate if i am not alone.I cannot take fighting with him anymore.please help. Oh i forgot to mention I am a single parent who works and also have a 2 yrs old todller to deal with.

THANK YOU.

by on Sep. 16, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
my2kidsmom9498
by Bronze Member on Sep. 16, 2013 at 11:49 PM

 

So, he learns from this how?  And, when he is in college, mom comes into the dorm and makes him do his studing too?  She first has to come up with a plan.  If he can't stick to the plan, then the system disappears.  Just yanking it does not teach a lesson.  Kids are more receptive to plans that they have imput as well.  My ds, an honor student, athlete, scout and in clubs, says he likes to have 30 minutes of screen time before he starts anything, just to decompress.  So, what? 

Quoting atlmom2:

He can't seem to make it work so why not take them away. Mine learned in hs and didn't need to play games to learn time management. If he learns it, then give video games back. If not, OP needs to not give them back. Plus he is arguing also. He needs discipline for that.

Quoting my2kidsmom9498:

 


But her kid LIKES video games.  What the distraction is really does not matter.  It is the skill to be taught to balance fun with school, chores, sports and other activities.  The point was that, not the gaming systems.  And, the kid is 15, he is high school aged. 


Quoting atlmom2:

Time management can be taught without video games. Mine are 19 and 22 and have those skills and had no video games on school nights. Mine were in hs before we ever owned a gaming system.



Quoting my2kidsmom9498:


 Why should there not be gaming on a school night?  Time management is an important skill.  What will happen to that kid when he is dropped off at college without these skills?  Sorry, it may have to be taken for a while, but, learning to deal with distractions while living at home is essential for later.  Come up with a plan WITH your son. 



 



Quoting atlmom2:

Take the computer. No gaming on school nights. Should have been that way all along.


 



 



 


 




 

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM
Ok, you and I will not agree. I am not gonna argue.


Quoting my2kidsmom9498:

 


So, he learns from this how?  And, when he is in college, mom comes into the dorm and makes him do his studing too?  She first has to come up with a plan.  If he can't stick to the plan, then the system disappears.  Just yanking it does not teach a lesson.  Kids are more receptive to plans that they have imput as well.  My ds, an honor student, athlete, scout and in clubs, says he likes to have 30 minutes of screen time before he starts anything, just to decompress.  So, what? 


Quoting atlmom2:

He can't seem to make it work so why not take them away. Mine learned in hs and didn't need to play games to learn time management. If he learns it, then give video games back. If not, OP needs to not give them back. Plus he is arguing also. He needs discipline for that.


Quoting my2kidsmom9498:


 



But her kid LIKES video games.  What the distraction is really does not matter.  It is the skill to be taught to balance fun with school, chores, sports and other activities.  The point was that, not the gaming systems.  And, the kid is 15, he is high school aged. 



Quoting atlmom2:

Time management can be taught without video games. Mine are 19 and 22 and have those skills and had no video games on school nights. Mine were in hs before we ever owned a gaming system.




Quoting my2kidsmom9498:



 Why should there not be gaming on a school night?  Time management is an important skill.  What will happen to that kid when he is dropped off at college without these skills?  Sorry, it may have to be taken for a while, but, learning to deal with distractions while living at home is essential for later.  Come up with a plan WITH your son. 




 




Quoting atlmom2:

Take the computer. No gaming on school nights. Should have been that way all along.



 




 




 



 






 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
suesues
by Silver Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 7:09 AM

make a deal 1 hr of school work can equal 1 hr of something fun otherwise take stuff away

also he needs to get maybe c's to get back certain games

Barabell
by Barbara on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Hello, and welcome to the group. I have a son just turning 14. We limit game time to an hour on school nights and not until homework is done. If he doesn't follow that rule, then he will lose game time the next night. My sob wants to go to college, so he's good about keeping his grades decent.
Barabell
by Barbara on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:01 AM
*son, sorry, on mobile.
Barabell
by Barbara on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:02 AM
I agree that consistency is important. They have to know you're serious and will follow through.

Quoting drfink:

 They have given great advice.Be sure to follow through.Consistency is the key.

Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:06 AM

This is the rule of our house too.  That being said if all homework is done, chores done and there is nothing going on like other family/school activities and they want some extra time they just have to ask.  We are flexible as long there keep their grades up and their responsiblities are met.



Quoting Barabell:

Hello, and welcome to the group. I have a son just turning 14. We limit game time to an hour on school nights and not until homework is done. If he doesn't follow that rule, then he will lose game time the next night. My sob wants to go to college, so he's good about keeping his grades decent.



Barabell
by Barbara on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:29 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree to that some nights we might allow more and are flexible. My son's sport season is starting soon though, and some nights won't even allow any time for gaming -- which is fine for him because he loves sports more.

Quoting Txlisa7969:

This is the rule of our house too.  That being said if all homework is done, chores done and there is nothing going on like other family/school activities and they want some extra time they just have to ask.  We are flexible as long there keep their grades up and their responsiblities are met.




Quoting Barabell:

Hello, and welcome to the group. I have a son just turning 14. We limit game time to an hour on school nights and not until homework is done. If he doesn't follow that rule, then he will lose game time the next night. My sob wants to go to college, so he's good about keeping his grades decent.




navyjen
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:31 AM

Take his computer away.  Make him earn computer time.    Remember you are the parent.  I also have 2 small children (15 months and 4 years) and a 15 year old.  My son would turn into a jerk when allowed to play his games so I took them away.   He has to earn time on his computer by helping with his sisters, getting good grades, doing his chores and being respectful.  If he doesnt do all of that he loses it untill I see fit to give them back to him.   

I have found letting him earn time by doing what he is supposed to makes him more helpful and he appreciates the time he gets more.   

terpmama
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:33 AM

To get today's password (wifi or just computer) you must...

- chores

- school work

- tidy room

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)