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16-yo boy ---- Not much else to say, but help!!!!

Posted by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 7:55 AM
  • 16 Replies

Where do I begin!!!???? He is a handful and I cannot take much more.

My son and I are not speaking and actually it does not even bother me, is that bad? 

He loves to play video games, obviously.When he has bad grades he is not aloud to play Xbox.  Unfortunately he has found a very similar computer game to COD and plays all the time.  So this past Friday my children were off of school and he decided to grab is laptop mid morning and begin to play this computer game.  Around noon I asked him to turn it off and do something else and he informed me that there is absolutely nothing for him to do.  So needless to say I just continued doinhg whatever through the day.  I then was sitting outside on my lanai having an adult beverage around 4:30 and asked him to turn it off, again.  He totally ignored me. 

My husband, his father, gets home around 6:15. 

I came back in around 5:50 and asked him again to turn it off and he says that he was planning on it.  I asked him as to why he could not turn it off earlier and if he was turning it off because his father was coming home and did not want to get into trouble?  He stated NO.  Just to mention he has a girlfriend, so I stated that he could not see her the rest of the weekend because once again he was being disrespectful.  He then started yelling at me stating that I was a liar and told his girlfriend's mother all kinds of stuff about him.  This then became a screaming match.  I can tell you I did not lie and do not lie to anyone.  Actually I am told that I am too honest.  

My husband then came home and we discussed what happened.  Mind you this has been a repetitive occurrence for years and is not the first time, in reference to the disrespect and video game situation.  My husband informed me that there is no reason for me to be upset. 

Apparently my husband had a discussion with him the following day, when I was not here, informing him that he can play the computer game 2 hours per day and that is all.  So that same day I caught him again defying the odds and trying to push the issue and play it longer.  Then on top of it my husband allowed him to see his girlfriend on Sunday and informed me that this is not her fault.  So he defied me again, both my husband and my son.  So I informed my husband that I am no longer parenting my son or helping him.  I have not spoken to my son since Friday and am having minimal conversation with my husband.  

This has been going on for years. I truly am over all of it. 

I could go on and on about other situations but this is the most recent.

by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 7:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:02 AM
Take the computer and video games away till he can play them when you say and behave properly.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
annie68694
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:11 AM

I have many times in the past and my husband always defies the issue.  He one day states that I am too soft and the next lets him do whatever he wants. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:26 AM
2 moms liked this
You and your dh need to get on the same page.


Quoting annie68694:

I have many times in the past and my husband always defies the issue.  He one day states that I am too soft and the next lets him do whatever he wants. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:30 AM

This.  Also, you mention he was playing while the other children were at school.  Is he himself not in school?




Quoting atlmom2:

You and your dh need to get on the same page.


Quoting annie68694:

I have many times in the past and my husband always defies the issue.  He one day states that I am too soft and the next lets him do whatever he wants. 




atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:33 AM
Is he an adult??? If he is give him a certain amount of time to get a job, and move out if he cannot follow rules.


Quoting Txlisa7969:

This.  Also, you mention he was playing while the other children were at school.  Is he himself not in school?





Quoting atlmom2:

You and your dh need to get on the same page.





Quoting annie68694:

I have many times in the past and my husband always defies the issue.  He one day states that I am too soft and the next lets him do whatever he wants. 







Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wakymom
by Silver Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:35 AM
1 mom liked this

 First, you and your dh need to have a conversation. Part of the reason your ds continues the behavior is b/c he knows Dad will cave.

Second, set a gaming time limit. When that time is up, if he does not get off the laptop, physically take it away. Same for his phone, if he has one, if he tries to play games on it.

 

 

 

Miss_Mandy80
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I would yank out that Xbox & computer until punishment time is over (I hate to say it, but it sounds like w/ your son, that may be a while) & that husband of yours needs to STOP undoing what you have already done! No wonder your son isn't respecting what you say or even listening to you. Your husband is showing him he doesn't have to. I would have a SERIOUS heart to heart w/ him. Good Luck, Hun. 

annie68694
by on Sep. 17, 2013 at 8:52 AM

It was a teacher work day so all students were off that day.  I just wanted to make sure I was not overreacting. 

The funny thing is my husband will have the nerve and sit at the computer and play a golf video game for hours and then says something to our son about his playing.  But if I point that out, Oh my the words will fly, because he should be aloud to do whatever he wants.  Yes is a huge game with my husband and my son, unfortunately I am the middle man that gets the brunt of everything.  But the testosterone gets in the way of seeing this

Barabell
by Barbara on Sep. 17, 2013 at 9:48 AM
This, and/or set internet parental controls that limits game time every day. I just got a new router, and I believe it has that parental control feature.

Quoting wakymom:

 First, you and your dh need to have a conversation. Part of the reason your ds continues the behavior is b/c he knows Dad will cave.


Second, set a gaming time limit. When that time is up, if he does not get off the laptop, physically take it away. Same for his phone, if he has one, if he tries to play games on it.


 


 


 

navyjen
by Member on Sep. 17, 2013 at 10:27 AM

Take the games away.   Thats the answer to your problem.  My son becomes a complete jerk when ever he is allowed his xbox or computer so I took them away.   He may eventually earn them back but untill he learns to be respectful and honest and hardworking again he can forget playing his games.    I hid the xbox once.  He found it and hooked it up when I wasnt home only to get caught.   Just unhook the xbox and his computer and tell him forget it till he learns to respect you.  

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