Daughter's Disturbing Texts about Suicide & Self Harm
I'm not sure what happened but suddenly my daughter's texts with one particular friend suddenly popped up on my iPad. I wasn't going to read them except I immediately saw references to suicide and cutting. Let me preface all of his to say my daughter is 13 years old and has always been a follower. She has always acted like, laughed like, had the favorit color of and interests of her current BFF. This particular friend is a known cutter (my daughter told me previously) who is in counselling. My main problem is I'm not sure if my daughter is really feeling any of these things, or if she is trying to fit in with this friend. Or maybe even trying to make this friend feel normal. They mostly talk about ridiculous nonsense, but occasionally they will both talk about cutting and this other friend would talk about "not being here much longer" and threatening to take pills. Then later my daughter would talk about all the pills in the house and how tempting they are (there aren't any). Then they would both tell each other how suicide is not the answer and things change and they would die if the other one died and they are here for each other and if they didn't have each other etc. etc. etc. My daughter has had some body issues (she's tall with a great figure where most of her friends are short and boyish) and she thinks she's ugly when she's beautiful (not just a mother speaking). I did try to talk to her without letting on how much I knew by saying she hasn't seemed like herself and taking several walks with her but she insists she is fine and she's just a teenager. Then she texted her friend that she couldn't tell me about "all that stuff" and that she said she was just a teenager and would try to be happier around me. I don't want to confront her with specifics because I'm afraid I will no longer have access to what's going on should it become more serious. If I tell her what I know she'll just start hiding it better. It's tearing me apart. My head tells me she's just caught up in the drama with this interesting friend, but my heart is scared to death. I don't want her to be with this person, but I'm also afraid if I did anything about it they would become closer - or worse the girl really needs my daughter and it might make her worse. This is so much for a 13 year old! I'd appreciate any advice!