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Appropriate plan for this teen's poor behavior?

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:54 AM
  • 12 Replies

So, if your teen smokes pot, steals money or alcohol from you, and lies to you about their whereabouts, etc...would you want to monitor all their facebook and text messages?

Would you tell your teen that you are monitoring....or would you secretly monitor the texts and messages?

by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:13 AM
3 moms liked this
Parents should always monitor their kids. Not secretly. Phones and computers are not private so why make it that way for teens? Teens do not have that right. Adults do once 18 and paying for it. Let them know they are watched every minute.
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boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:17 AM

I would monitor.....then tell him.




Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:18 AM

This.  My two teen know that I will and do monitor their phones and computer.  I also have their passwords to their FB, email and phones.  Am I on there every day checking in?  No.  I do periodic checks but if there was a change in their behavior or a concern I would be all over it in a heart beat.  If they were displaying the behaviors you listed they would NOT have access to a phone or computer and would most likely be in counseling.  



Quoting atlmom2:

Parents should always monitor their kids. Not secretly. Phones and computers are not private so why make it that way for teens? Teens do not have that right. Adults do once 18 and paying for it. Let them know they are watched every minute.



momto3nuts
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:19 AM

If my kid was doing that, I would take away the privledge of having facebook and text messages. That's just me. I monitor everything and my son knows it.

Msgme
by Bronze Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 11:19 AM

due to a lying issue i had with my dd for close to a year she lost all privacy on the computer.  I read every msg and every text and she knew it.  She's gotten much better about the lying so she has some privacy back. Ido check more often then she knows but she does know i will do spot checks.

drfink
by Emily on Sep. 19, 2013 at 1:30 PM

 I have always told mine I will check on their stuff anytime I feel the need.Not secret .So far I haven't felt the need to monitor all the time but if they were to start this type of behavior I would monitor them in a heartbeat.Actually I think those would be some privileges removed and I would have them talking to a Child and Adolescent Therapist.I would discuss consequences with the therapist to get some ideas.

SugarrCane
by Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 3:05 PM


Quoting momto3nuts:

If my kid was doing that, I would take away the privledge of having facebook and text messages. That's just me. I monitor everything and my son knows it.

I agree with this.

luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 7:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Mine knew that their stuff would stay private until the moment I suspected something was up. Privacy is not their right. I will try to honor it, but at the end of the day I am the parent.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:37 PM

 

Quoting boys2men2soon:

I would monitor.....then tell him.

 This because the child is obviously in crisis. Good luck.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Sep. 19, 2013 at 8:39 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting luckysevenwow:

Mine knew that their stuff would stay private until the moment I suspected something was up. Privacy is not their right. I will try to honor it, but at the end of the day I am the parent.

 Yep, i've always told my kids don't "give me a reason" to have to check your social media. DS age 20 (now too old to) never ever had a reason to check his messages was always his friend on FB, ect but his texts, never checked didn't worry. My DD age 15, have checked a few times only whern given a reason. Yep privacy is earned priv

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