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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

introverted teen

Posted by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:20 PM
  • 17 Replies

Hi! My daughter is 17, a senior in high school, gets great grades and is involved in several school clubs and also plays field hockey for school and is on a travel soccer team. She is friends with lots of people in school. But on weekends and days off from school, she really prefers to just hang at home. I envision every other teen in the world out and about socializing. She has her own car so getting around is not an issue. Her best friend does not go to her school, she lives 25 minutes away an has a boyfriend now so they don't see each other as much as they used to. My daughter is still not really interested in boys and I think is generally quiet around them. She used to have a close knit group of friends but over time have moved on which is natural in high school.

So my question is do you have or know other teens like this? Or that were like this? Did they ever feel like they missed out on anything? My daughter seems happy. She never complains about being home.

by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Mine were social. DD 22 had 10 to 15 kids over most weekends. Dd 19 had a close knit group of friends on the tennis team and outside of school.
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squeekers
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:42 PM

 our DD was an introvert until she got into the middle school band is 6th grade. then she began to smile and have someone to talk to or something to talk about, or people with similar experiences to hang out with. Two years ago, when she stopped being in the band, she seemed to have lost that group of friends, and became introverted again. She knows people and can go visit with them when possible, but DD likes to just be in her room whether it's to work on her sewing/quilting, reading or on her laptop. I figure as long as she's OK going out with friends, smiling, laughing and grades are OK, she's OK. If i see her being more 'down in the dumps' I make sure to give some extra mom-daughter time to check up on her, and keep tabs on her feelings.

Saphira1207
by Member on Sep. 27, 2013 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I was like your daughter in school, and my sons are both turning out the same as well.

If she's happy, then let it be.  None of us in my home have or do feel that anything is missed.  We just simply prefer quiet to noise and simplicity to extravegance.  That's what being introverted means.  We like our down/alone time.  It's what recharges us and makes us feel blanced.

bizzeemom2717
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 Some people are just introverted. The key is I think like you mentioned she is HAPPY. :) Sounds lie she's doing well in school, involved, ect, she's not showing any signs of depression or wanting to be included in something she's not. A good friend of mine and co worker has a DD the same age as mine 15 an her DD is similar to yours. My Dd is 15 and social, however she has drama she deals with as well, enjoy the quiet lol!

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Sep. 27, 2013 at 5:45 PM

It sounds like she spends plenty of time socializing at school, in clubs and with sports. I wouldn't worry about her spending time at home especially if she is content and happy.

jw724
by on Sep. 27, 2013 at 6:29 PM
Thanks all. She is pretty happy, is never like everyone is out except me...so I just have to roll with it. She can't live the life I want her to, she has to be herself. I need to get over it! It is really my problem, not hers.
suesues
by Silver Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 7:22 AM

as long as she is social durning the week let it be for now but always encourage her to do more

sharon6345
by on Sep. 28, 2013 at 7:57 AM

This could be a blessing you know. there is so much going on now with teens and you don't have to lose any sleep behind it. you say she belongs to teams let her be a home body if it's not killing her..

Jinx-Troublex3
by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 9:01 AM
This...she sounds pretty active so time at home is to chill!


Quoting mumsy2three:

It sounds like she spends plenty of time socializing at school, in clubs and with sports. I wouldn't worry about her spending time at home especially if she is content and happy.


romalove
by Member on Sep. 28, 2013 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this

OMG do I relate to this.

My 17 year old also tends to be an introvert.  She likes to have downtime to do nothing, not be socializing, sleep, write music, etc.  She is involved in the drama club at school but only as crew now because she doesn't like the teacher, but her friends are there.

The strange thing with my daughter is her boyfriend and her best friends are total extroverts, among the most popular and extroverted kids in the school.  I worry that she will feel "left behind" a bit because she pulls herself out of things that others are involved in.  Yesterday is a good example.  Her boyfriend is in the marching band and has to attend the football games.  A bunch of the drama kids were going, and she was invited, but she didn't want to go because she hates being at a football game with tons of people, it's overwhelming for her.

I think at this age they are who they are, and we can guide as much as we want to, but we have to sort of accept their decisions.

It is really hard, though.  I feel like my daughter misses out on lots of things because of her introversion, but she disagrees and says she has the "right" amount of socialization.

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