Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

fighting over grades with 13 year old

Posted by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:56 PM
  • 13 Replies

My son was an honor student up until 7th grade,the most important year for getting into a good high school. We live in New York City which is extremely competitive for good  schools. He squeaked by with an 85 in seventh grade, thanks to my working with him so much on reviewing for tests, etc.

Now he's in eighth grade and the first 3 months are crucial because these grades go to h.s.

I just went on line and saw that he has already failed a couple of tests and has not handed in some homeworks. I really lost it, yelling at him (which I always feel bad about but can't seem to help myself).Last year his teachers were complaining that he was distracted and unfocused and not working to his potential.

I've shut down the x box for two weeks and banned his favorite tv show tonight, but I doubt if this will help and I know my yelling at him is useless. Any advice would be greatly appreciated during this extremely stressful time.

by on Sep. 29, 2013 at 10:56 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
gdiamante
by Bronze Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:29 AM

You've done the right thing. Stick to your guns.

PinkButterfly66
by on Sep. 30, 2013 at 2:50 AM
1 mom liked this

Talk to him.  Get him to explain to you why he's not handing in homework and failing tests.  Is he in over his head?  Get him help.

momto3infl
by Bronze Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 6:33 AM

 IDk I have same issue started last year in 6th grade and just started again in last couple of weeks of the first grading period for 7th grade.

atlmom2
by Susie on Sep. 30, 2013 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Make appts with the teachers. Your son needs to be there too. Not handing in homework is not acceptable.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
newslady225
by New Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 9:14 AM

the sad part is that he's well able to do the work. the problem is that he seems to be distracted in class and doesn't listen, doesn't realize that worksheets in class will be graded. i know this has a lot to do with hormones--he has developed physically beyond his peers. the hard part is that our relationship seems to be deteriorating over this.

so many of thegood public schools look at the grades of seventh and part of eighth grade so this really affects his future and makes me crazy. i've spoken to him about how important this part of the school year is to no avail.

Msgme
by Bronze Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 10:50 AM

lol i could of written this post myself a cpl years ago. 

What i can tell u is that the 8th grade grades dont go to the high school.  7th grade final report cards are what seen. but keep his attendance up.

his application will have just 7th grade on them.  at least thats how it was with us and what they told me at the high school fair yesterday. Have you gotten the actual application  yet?

take a deep breath my son totally screwed up 7th grade and still go into a decent HS.  And with an 85 average he has a good shot at most programs.

herheather79
by Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 12:56 PM

I totally hear you except my son does not have to apply to high school there is only one where we live.  Last year was a horrible year.  I couldn't tell you how many visits we had at school with his teachers.  This year he is in the 8th grade and doing the same thing.  This year he is on his own we are not going to tell him what to do just keep him updated on his grades and that is it.  This year is on him if he fails he will be repeating 8th grade next year.  Maybe he will figure it out.

Good luck to you.

djmkmom
by New Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 5:08 PM
Meeting tomorrow with my sons teachers over 7th grade grades. He didn't do well in 6th grade either. He really hates school. Not looking forward to it but hopefully it will help.
nicole.mazer
by Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 5:55 PM

My 13 year old DD (seventh grade this year) struggled last year with schoolwork; she was always falling behind and didn't have good work habits or organization skills. I worked with her to teach her effective ways to study and she met with her teachers weekly to get a re-explaining of the topics. We worked very hard to catch her up to speed and then to make sure she stayed there, and now she is doing wonderfully. Just sit down with him and make sure he has good study skills (using graphic organizers, how to take good notes, how to be organized, etc). and have him meet with teachers. My daughters are 15 and 13 (9th grade and 7th grade) and you have to know that they won't always ace a test, but the important part is that they learn from their mistakes and learn better study habits to avoid the same thing next time. See how he studies and does homework and monitor that he's using his time wisely (not goofing off while doing homework) and then try to guide him to good methods of studying. Good luck! Hope I helped :)

sahlady
by Gold Member on Sep. 30, 2013 at 6:25 PM

I would delve into this a bit more.  If he was on track and puberty has taken him off track, then I would explore this more.  Ive had 2 kids go through puberty and it never effected them this way.  However, I do know of a boy who went through and had horrible depression issues, those issues magnified and lead him down a path parents would never wish for their child.

I would just explore this more.... but of course keep up with the consequences.

Quoting newslady225:

the sad part is that he's well able to do the work. the problem is that he seems to be distracted in class and doesn't listen, doesn't realize that worksheets in class will be graded. i know this has a lot to do with hormones--he has developed physically beyond his peers. the hard part is that our relationship seems to be deteriorating over this.

so many of thegood public schools look at the grades of seventh and part of eighth grade so this really affects his future and makes me crazy. i've spoken to him about how important this part of the school year is to no avail.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)