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I just found out my daughter makes herself throw up.

I just found out tonight that my 14 year old daughter has been skipping lunch at school and making herself throw up 1 to 2 times a day for the past month. I am so scared for her and just feel lost. I am sot sure how to handle this one. I told her that I love her and that I am always here for her. We talked and I was able to hold back my tears until after she went to bed. I am scared for her. Have any of you gone threw something like this? What did you do to help your daughter? What should I say to her? What kind of outside help should I seek for her?

by on Oct. 3, 2013 at 1:53 AM
Replies (21-27):
by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 3:11 PM

Oh my. I am so sorry for your daughter and your family.

Thankfully, my DD has not encountered this one. 

My younger sister battled anorexia especially purging, binging and purging for her entire life. It was part of the reason she died recently at the age of 46. Find a therapist that specializes in this matter. Please as soon as you can.

by Grumpy on Oct. 4, 2013 at 3:21 PM

 Did she tell you why she was doing this?  Is it because it is a "fad" or because she feels she is fat?  I would definately get ahold of a counselor of some sort, or if she's easily molded perhaps have her see a nutritionist.

by Barbara on Oct. 4, 2013 at 7:54 PM

I would seek professional help. I would start by taking her to her primary care doctor to get a referral.

There are some treatment centers locally that I've seen advertised, and I would consider one of those too.

by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 9:38 PM
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 She can't be helped until she admits she has a problem.  She has to want help or she will sneak and do it.  I had a family member that did it and everytime she would eat she would have to go to the bathroom and so someone started following her until she finally got it.

by Bronze Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:16 PM
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The biggest step is her asking for help. There are alot of reason for this and only she will know what it causeing it in the long run. DD is in recovery from an ED and it's a long haul. She needs a counceller/therapist/confidant  ASAP. There are just things she needs to talk to someone about and that person could be anyone. In DD case one of girlfriends mothers had been through this and picked up on the problems before any of us,she told DD call anytime I will drop what I am doing and talk to you. DD's track coach from highschool is one of her biggest supporters in her recovery and has been there since day one and is always there for her. One of things DD learned that co0ntrol is a big issue and eating and keeping it down is something only she could contro; and it was a defense mechanism for her. If nothing else in my life is under my control this is.

DD found that she cut out many of her friends that didn't understand what was happening or why it was happening. I told her to surrond herself with people whi will support her and love her unconditionally. That simple statement gas help leaps and bounds on those days when she is having a really really tough time and things are triggering her.

After almost 18 months in recovery she is now a healthy weight and feels mostly good about herself. She still has food issues and always will but she knows what triggers her and how to help herself deal with it. One of the big ones was the number on the scale,we no longer own a scale in this house. Also she is on her second college dipolma this one for health,wellness and fitness,and she refuses to be weighed for one of the classes. She is very open about her ED and told the instructor she wasn't stepping on any scale becasue weight does not matter its her fitness level that matters at this point.

by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 2:33 AM
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I can only imagine how you must have felt the first time you saw this. Therapy definitely helps. She should see her prdiatrician. Sorry to see you go through this. Take care. God bless.

by on Oct. 5, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Thank you so much for the out pouring of support. I can't even express how much it helps. My dd does want help. She is talking to us about this. She tells after eating she feels like throwing up. We tell her that we love her and we understand that this is hard for her and that we are here for her every step of the way. I have called the school and the school counselor has already started working with her. We have called several counselors, but as of yet have not actually made contact with a person, just answering services. So on Monday I will start calling again. I will also call her pediatrician for a checkup and referrals.

We did also find out that one of my daughters friends at school is also purging and the two girls seem to be egging each other on, and this really scares me. This other girl apparently has been doing thus for a while. The school counselor told me that the two need to be kept separate as much as possible. We also have to help dd figure out what her triggers are. After talking a bit I think we have started to identify 1 or 2. I know we have a difficult road ahead of us, and this still terrifies me, but I feel confident that we will be able to get her the help that she needs.
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