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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teen SD and her cell phone

Posted by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 9:13 PM
  • 22 Replies

We gave 13yo SD my old IPhone for Christmas. She has good grades and a pretty good head on her shoulders so we thought it would be a nice surprise. We were cautious about it though and made her sign a contract with us about the use of the phone. We explained each of the stipulations and that if she didn't abide by them the  phone would be taken.


Things were fine until school started in August. We have suspected that she has been using the phone while at school which we told her was a no-no. As I said SD agreed to these rules. The only reason she was able to take it to school is because she comes home to an empty house after school and we want her to have it in case of an emergency. Today I got 6 text messages from SD while she was sitting in class (she told me this). She was asking about plans for this weekend, something that could have waited until she got home. She also texted me while I was at work - I am a teacher so it is not a mystery when I am working. SD has been told repeatedly NOT to text DH or I while we are at school (DH is a student) or at work unless it is an emergency. 


When I got home I took SD's phone to see what else has been going on. She has been deleting text messages (also a no-no, only DH or I are supposed to delete her messages so that we can check her phone at any time), she knows she has ZERO privacy when it comes to her laptop (which we got her because she needs it for school), and her cell phone. DH checks her search history and finds several searches for 18+ videos. When confronted she initially tried to act like we were all wrong about the videos. However, after viewing them, the sexually explicit content and innappropriate language was evident.  I am SO disappointed! Her phone has been taken and I don't know when she will get it back. DH took her laptop and has blocked facebook and YouTube so she can't access either site. We are trying to figure out how to do that on her phone. We have discussed the contract rules she broke (there are at least 4) and that as a result changes will be made. I don't know when she will get her IPhone back. I just don't know what else to do. DH is going to change the password on our internet so that she can't access it and turn off her WIFI as well as turn off her 3G so she can't use that either. What else can we do?

by on Oct. 4, 2013 at 9:13 PM
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Replies (1-10):
boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:01 PM

Sounds like you have this covered.    She broke the rules, she lost the priveledge.  




atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 4, 2013 at 10:25 PM
Take the phone. 13 yo doesn't need a phone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:27 PM
Turn the texting feature off her phone
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:36 PM

I can link you to several videos of how to put parental controls on iphones if you like? What does bio mom have to say about this?

graybealgirl
by Member on Oct. 4, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Sorry but she'll find ways around this. So you'd better find a way to monitor her 24/7
bellasmom32510
by Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 6:46 AM
Biomom is not involved DH and I are raising her I am more mom than SM.

And that would be great!

Quoting GleekingOut:I can link you to several videos of how to put parental controls on iphones if you like? What does bio mom have to say about this?
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this


Hopefully this works - if not, the list down the sidebar should help you


Quoting bellasmom32510:

Biomom is not involved DH and I are raising her I am more mom than SM.

And that would be great!

Quoting GleekingOut:I can link you to several videos of how to put parental controls on iphones if you like? What does bio mom have to say about this?



luckysevenwow
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 10:36 AM
2 moms liked this

Mine all texted from school. Our school is pretty lax about that, within reason of course. Most teachers didn't mind during down time in classes, and it was allowed during breaks. So I wonder what her schools policy is.

Beyond that I think you are doing what you can. 

SnowWhieQueen
by Member on Oct. 5, 2013 at 11:00 AM

my kids don't get cell phones,or laptops...so i don't have this problem....kids like to test boundaries tho...and her laptop has parent controls set them....it could be pop ups tho...

Barabell
by Barbara on Oct. 5, 2013 at 12:59 PM

I think you're taking the right steps.

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