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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

At what age did you...?

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:36 AM
  • 14 Replies

At what age did your teen start seeing you as the big bad wolf? My daughter and I have had a stressful relationship for the past few years and it is only getting worse. She is 16 and in a relationship with this little feller that I really do think is a good kid. Things seemed to be going along just fine until she gets told that she cannot make plans without running them threw me. She has chores to do daily that she tries to get out of daily unless she wants something. Her grades are alright but she could do better, she is getting a really low grade in her AFTA class. In general she is a great kid happy and out going but when she does not get her way she turns on me like a viper and strikes out at everything I say or do. A friend of hers has a mother that is so wrapped up in all the drama of her kids that she even got on Facebook and got into a mud slinging contest with a girl that broke up with her son. I would NEVER think of doing that. This woman earns the title of "Momma K" from my daughter. Why? I can't open my mouth without her sitting there and rolling her eyes, giving a long suffering sigh, or just lashing out in one way or another. WTF?? Any suggestions? My mother says to just leave her and lone and dont preasure her. Let the little things go. Well when you let them go and go and go and she gets worse and worse and worse, isn't it better to nip them in the bud early on? 

by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
drfink
by Emily on Oct. 6, 2013 at 1:32 PM

 She wants to do what she wants to do....pretty normal teen attitude

Parents  or mom of teen frustrated ,enforcing proper behavior including school ,chores etc ,being the bad guy at times even when not ....pretty normal parent of teen .

Hugs ,even parents of good kids get driven nutso by their teens and good teens get driven nutso by their parents at times. Hang in there  !

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 6, 2013 at 1:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Choose your battles.    Disrespect is intolerable in my house.   My sons do not have to like what I say....but they have to do as I say.    I don't care if they roll their eyes, sigh or mutter to themselves....I just smile.  Lashing out?  No.   I will gladly listen to their opinions, as long as they are presented in a respectful manner.   I am open to discussion.     I still have final say.      Do not allow yourself to be drawn into arguments.    It takes two to argue.   When arguments begin, I just say "this conversation is now over.  My position is non negotiable."  I walk away.    They learned early on that if they want to get their way, they have to present a mature, calm reason as to why they should.   Acting like children will result in being treated as a child.

I am not my sons' friend.   I am their Mom.    I am the only mother my sons will ever have.   They will have many friends who come and go from their lives.    I will always be here, I will always have their best interests at heart.  I will always have their backs.

I have a good relationship with both my sons.  Many of their friends call me Mama S___ (insert my sons' first names).        I hope the other Mom's are not threatened by that.   They know who their mothers are.....it is just a fun nickname they came up with for me.  Probably because I mother them, lol. They spend lots of times at my house and are extended members of our family.   Believe me....I have no problem asking them to help unload groceries, move heavy things or whatever.  




laura-l-hutton
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 10:11 PM


This is what I figured it is just sooo frustrating that she tries to tell me what she will and wont do. There is really no room for nagociations in chores but she tries. She came back from a date and was late by 5 minutes the other night and I started to say something and a blow up to rivial a nuclear bomb ensued. Just a reminder of her cerfew is all I was going to say. Glad to know it isnt just me though and that other kids just have off days. 

Quoting drfink:

 She wants to do what she wants to do....pretty normal teen attitude

Parents  or mom of teen frustrated ,enforcing proper behavior including school ,chores etc ,being the bad guy at times even when not ....pretty normal parent of teen .

Hugs ,even parents of good kids get driven nutso by their teens and good teens get driven nutso by their parents at times. Hang in there  !



laura-l-hutton
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 10:13 PM


I know that the momma thing shouldn't be such a big deal but I guess its because of the stress in our relationship. As for picking my battles. Boy why is the right thing so hard to do. Thank you for your reply and while I know that it is the best way to handle it I still struggle. 

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Choose your battles.    Disrespect is intolerable in my house.   My sons do not have to like what I say....but they have to do as I say.    I don't care if they roll their eyes, sigh or mutter to themselves....I just smile.  Lashing out?  No.   I will gladly listen to their opinions, as long as they are presented in a respectful manner.   I am open to discussion.     I still have final say.      Do not allow yourself to be drawn into arguments.    It takes two to argue.   When arguments begin, I just say "this conversation is now over.  My position is non negotiable."  I walk away.    They learned early on that if they want to get their way, they have to present a mature, calm reason as to why they should.   Acting like children will result in being treated as a child.

I am not my sons' friend.   I am their Mom.    I am the only mother my sons will ever have.   They will have many friends who come and go from their lives.    I will always be here, I will always have their best interests at heart.  I will always have their backs.

I have a good relationship with both my sons.  Many of their friends call me Mama S___ (insert my sons' first names).        I hope the other Mom's are not threatened by that.   They know who their mothers are.....it is just a fun nickname they came up with for me.  Probably because I mother them, lol. They spend lots of times at my house and are extended members of our family.   Believe me....I have no problem asking them to help unload groceries, move heavy things or whatever.  



pocmom
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this

Man!  You have to choose your battles here Mom.  pretty normal for teens to be disgusted by everything parents, do, say, think, etc.  you name it.  Because they have all the answers of course!  Keep enforcing your rules (chores, requiring her to ask for permission, etc.) but let the other things (sighing, rolling eyes, etc.) go (as hard as it is).  Otherwise you will be fussing with her about everything.  Hang in there though, you're doing the right things with her!  Hugs

boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 6, 2013 at 10:50 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting laura-l-hutton:


I know that the momma thing shouldn't be such a big deal but I guess its because of the stress in our relationship. As for picking my battles. Boy why is the right thing so hard to do. Thank you for your reply and while I know that it is the best way to handle it I still struggle. 

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Choose your battles.    Disrespect is intolerable in my house.   My sons do not have to like what I say....but they have to do as I say.    I don't care if they roll their eyes, sigh or mutter to themselves....I just smile.  Lashing out?  No.   I will gladly listen to their opinions, as long as they are presented in a respectful manner.   I am open to discussion.     I still have final say.      Do not allow yourself to be drawn into arguments.    It takes two to argue.   When arguments begin, I just say "this conversation is now over.  My position is non negotiable."  I walk away.    They learned early on that if they want to get their way, they have to present a mature, calm reason as to why they should.   Acting like children will result in being treated as a child.

I am not my sons' friend.   I am their Mom.    I am the only mother my sons will ever have.   They will have many friends who come and go from their lives.    I will always be here, I will always have their best interests at heart.  I will always have their backs.

I have a good relationship with both my sons.  Many of their friends call me Mama S___ (insert my sons' first names).        I hope the other Mom's are not threatened by that.   They know who their mothers are.....it is just a fun nickname they came up with for me.  Probably because I mother them, lol. They spend lots of times at my house and are extended members of our family.   Believe me....I have no problem asking them to help unload groceries, move heavy things or whatever.  



It is hard!   It is frustrating and annoying as Heck!  I struggled, too, especially with walking away from an argument, which is not my nature, lol.     




CampClan
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 10:54 PM

Apparently my 14yo thinks I am right now. Only because I got on her case for not doing the dishes one day. I had come home on my break during the summer, saw the dishes in the sink, asked her to have them done before I got home. They weren't so I took her phone away. When she got it back she text my exSIL saying she was miserable here & wanted to run away. ExSIL told her she could get emancipated. Over my dead body she can! Besides- legally she can not. I already checked into it.

laura-l-hutton
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:09 PM


Medaling in-laws are the worst. Exspecally ex-in-laws. I am thinkful that, even though they are ex's, I don't have that issue. The kids will go to them and they will always talk to me first. Now if my own family could be that way lol. But consistancy is key (I do know that much lol) and that is all I have tried to do with my kiddos keep it up. And my greatest hope is that one day they will look back and say, "Wow, I am so glad she was my mom." 

Quoting CampClan:

Apparently my 14yo thinks I am right now. Only because I got on her case for not doing the dishes one day. I had come home on my break during the summer, saw the dishes in the sink, asked her to have them done before I got home. They weren't so I took her phone away. When she got it back she text my exSIL saying she was miserable here & wanted to run away. ExSIL told her she could get emancipated. Over my dead body she can! Besides- legally she can not. I already checked into it.



fantasticfour
by Grumpy on Oct. 7, 2013 at 12:53 AM
1 mom liked this

 My oldest stepson was 17 when he turned on me, the younger one was 16.  It's not getting any better with the younger one but at 24 the older one finally relented.  It's rough, I know, but I have no advice to offer you.

PurpleHazey
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 5:15 AM

I think she is just a normal teen

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