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UPDATE: Could your kid ever be bad enough to be given to foster care?

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 Could you ever voluntarily give your kid to foster care?  Knowing that the foster care system today is not the greatest, could you possibly give your kid up knowing that they would hate you and you wouldn't be able to see them until they turned 18, even if it is only for 6 months?

My son is well, let me think, prince and demon at the same time.  He has been checked by numerous counselors/psychologists, as well as hospitalized for mental illness and every time is given a clean bill of health with no mental problems.  Let's see, less than a week ago, he informed me that if he does not finish high school (through his own actions or getting kicked out at 18) he will kill himself (a usual threat which got him locked up more than once) but not before he inflicted "the most hurt you can ever imagine" on me.  "More than if I ripped off your arm" is what he said.  Then told me that when he does commit suicide it will be because *I* murdered him and that it would kill my youngest and I would be a murder of two people.  I was pretty pissed off listening to this crap. 

My youngest has a disease that stress causes incredible pain and she usually ends up in the hospital for it.  Right now, husband and son are occupying the basement (fully furnished) and husband is in charge of almost everything when it comes to him.  He saw me because he was outside and I went to get something from the shed.  The girls are isolated from him to minimize the stress.  The doctor is very upset about it all and contacted social services who asked if we wanted him placed in foster care. 

It seems a little extreme to me, but I'm wondering if there are others who would consider this an option for their families.  By the way, his latest outburst was not overheard by the girls who were on the opposite side of the house watching television so they didn't hear the outburst.

Update on page 3, post 30.  Lengthy but worth the read.

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 1:18 AM
Replies (31-34):
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 1:43 AM
DC Maryland and Virginia .... You would have to look that up for yourself and there are several others in va as well google

Quoting fantasticfour:

 What is the DMV area?  And how much is it?

Quoting cheetah90210:

They have a boot camp in the dmv area that allows your child to be in the military if they chose once they turn 18

Quoting fantasticfour:

Quoting atlmom2:

I would send him to boot camp.

Boot camps don't exist in VA anymore, trust me I've looked EVERYWHERE.


by Susie on Oct. 10, 2013 at 8:16 AM
Awesome update
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 11:28 AM

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but he is good at manilpulating things, BUT I will say that hopefully this is his big turnaround!

To answer your original question.....yes, my mom did it with my sister. It was two part, the first being my sister really needed help beyond what was out there, and the second part was that DCS had decided that having my sister in the home provided a threat to my much younger siblings. When my mom did it, she was very involved and had some stipluations. 

First, she couldn't just go into a foster home, she had to be in some type of placement center (didn't work, my sister ran the first chance she had). Second, the place had to have some kind of counseling, third my mom didn't want her rights removed she wanted it made clear that it was a last resort option. 

Now my sister did run, and they unded up with her in Juvie...horrible right? Wrong, should have been done a hell of a lot sooner. It was actually what led to the biggest change, she realized that maybe jail wasn't the best option for her. She did come out and go into a foster home, with a great family, it was in the end what she needed, but you hear so many horror stories that it can seem unthinkable. Yet, some kids, never understand just how easy they have it, till they don't have it anymore.

by Emily on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:51 PM

 whew crossing my fingers that the separation from part of the family has really opened his eyes ,brain and heart.A version of a swift kick ; ) .

Expect a bit of backsliding now and again but as long as the movement is forward over all it will be so great.

Crossing my fingers and toes for yall.

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