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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

My teen created an FB account behind my back. I'm angry at her but now don't know what to do. I know she'll continue to do stuff behind my back because I'm so strict....but I allow her to do whatever she wants either. I guess I'm having  a hard time finding the right median. It was definitely easier before she was a teen. Any ideas or thoughts from other moms with 14 year old daughters?embarrassed

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 5:22 AM
Replies (11-18):
nicole.mazer
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 7:26 PM

My daughters are 15 and 13 (9th grade and 7th grade). They both have social media sites, including Facebook (only mentioning FB since it's the one you brought up in your post). We are friends on FB and they know that I can see everything they post on there - however, the reason we are friends is not solely for me to go be a snoop!! Monitor her, but don't completely cut her off from it because one way or another, she will find a way to go behind your back and do it. What I tell myself is if she's going to do it anyway, wouldn't you rather know about it rather than have her go behind your back and do it?

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:24 PM

 

Quoting atlmom2:

This is why letting her have a monitored one is better, especially at 14. Kids find a way to get one. Facebook is not evil.

 I agree...if it's monitored there should be no problems. All 3 of my kids have had them.

bizzeemom2717
by Jen on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting notomatoes:

ummm, yeah shut down her account and block it before every pedophile in town knows where you live!

 LOL all three of my older kids have FB, they are monitored up until a certain age and I teach my kids about boundaries and online safety.....no pedophiles knocking down my door..this kind of over dramatization/exaggeration is what leads kids to do things behind their parents back...just my opinion.

Me2girlsandhim
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:27 PM
This! She knows at anytime momma can read anything on there!


Quoting atlmom2:

This is why letting her have a monitored one is better, especially at 14. Kids find a way to get one. Facebook is not evil.

Mommy4000
by Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:33 PM

My kids aren't allowed to have facebook, it's just that simple. There's no opportunity for them to have one behind my back. The negatives that can occur from being on social media far outweigh any positives they can get from it, so the decision is simple for me, they aren't going to die without social media. Exactly how did she create one behind your back, at a friends house or at home? How did you find out she had one? I think allowing her to have a monitored one can be a solution, but whose to say she wont just make another that you don't find out about? I don't know if my thinking out loud gave you any actual advice, but good luck and hope someone can help.

suesues
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 7:42 AM

know her pass words and be friends on fb

notomatoes
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:08 AM

you wanna see drama, check out the dateline program they did on pedophiles showing up at this one "kids" house! there were so many pedophiles that showed up for a "date" with what they thought was an underage girl, the police had to call for back up from two surronding counties just to book all the men who showed up! the police were snagging  everything from priests to one stupid soul who showed up thinking he was in for a hot date with an 12-14 year old girl, only to stumble over a cameraman after trying to chase said 12-14 year old girl up the stairs! pedophiles are gonna use whatever ways and means they can to get access to as many kids as possible, all they need is a parent who is gullible enough to belive they are harmless!

RysGram
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:52 AM
Rule in our house was mom has all passwords until you are 18. If something inappropriate is posted, it comes down & they are grounded from the internet. Worked out well for us.
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