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conversation with teens about sex

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 2:37 PM
  • 10 Replies

smile miniHey all,

My only child just started high school this year and is about to go homecoming with a date.  I have tried in the past to have conversations with her about sex and as expected she doesnt want to listen or talk.  Previously I have bought books but she just laughed.  I really want to have a conversation with her but how/where do I start?  I dont feel the need to get very detailed but I want her to have the necessary knowledge.  Any suggestions?   

 

by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 2:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucky2Beeme
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 4:32 PM
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Get her in the car. We have held many many important conversations there. Its make it easier for the kids. You have to watch where you are going so you can't look them in the eye. And they cant leave !

You really really need to just come out and say something like "I have tried to talk to you about sex. You always shut me down.  Its my job to make sure you know about sex. So that you are prepared and understand" I know it might be awkward but we really really need to talk. So how about you tell me what you do know OR ask me some questions. I promise I wont judge you or freak out no matter what you ask or say !"

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

Txlisa7969
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 10:56 PM

This completely!  My two teen girls and I have had some very important conversations in the car.  It does seem to help make it less awkward and of course you have a "captive" audience! lol



Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Get her in the car. We have held many many important conversations there. Its make it easier for the kids. You have to watch where you are going so you can't look them in the eye. And they cant leave !

You really really need to just come out and say something like "I have tried to talk to you about sex. You always shut me down.  Its my job to make sure you know about sex. So that you are prepared and understand" I know it might be awkward but we really really need to talk. So how about you tell me what you do know OR ask me some questions. I promise I wont judge you or freak out no matter what you ask or say !"



boys2men2soon
by Kimberly on Oct. 8, 2013 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree that the car is a great place to have great conversations!   

Also, timing is everything.   Use any lead in you get....  maybe watching a movie or tv show, talking about Miley Cyrus's antics, or even a news article.      Dr. Phil was my go to lead in, lol.      Hey, I was watching Dr. Phil today and they were discussing the popularity of oral sex in Middles Schools!   Is that really happening?




GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 12:31 AM
I hate to say it but maybe she's already sexually active and thinks she does not need the information because she already has the experience.
atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:22 AM
You need to get detailed. Should have long ago. It is an ongoing talk. The talk never ends till they are adults.
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vlynn.iowa
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:06 PM


This is what I've done with my kids.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

Get her in the car. We have held many many important conversations there. Its make it easier for the kids. You have to watch where you are going so you can't look them in the eye. And they cant leave !

You really really need to just come out and say something like "I have tried to talk to you about sex. You always shut me down.  Its my job to make sure you know about sex. So that you are prepared and understand" I know it might be awkward but we really really need to talk. So how about you tell me what you do know OR ask me some questions. I promise I wont judge you or freak out no matter what you ask or say !"



robin.maizlish
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:54 PM

My kids are 20, 18, and 13. 20 year old DD Jennifer is in her second year of college, 18 year old DS Evan is in his senior year, and 13 year old DD Emily is in 7th grade. 

I agree with PP to do it in the car because neither of you can see each other's reactions or have to look at each other, plus they can't just walk out of the room.

Just be straight up about it and tell her that you want to talk to her about sex because as a mother, you need to inform and educate her on the topic. Tell her that she can come to you with anything and ask you any questions and that you will listen with an open ear and won't be judgmental or flip out on her. Make sure she knows she can talk to you about it without being judged. 

That is how I did it with my kids! The sex talk is a continous conversation and when they have questions, they just bring them to me.

bexsmum
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 7:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Another user of the car method. I found they tended to be more open when the conversations were in the infant stages. In the car they are held captive,but they know how long the ride or trip will be so they can gauge how in depth you will get. Once you get her to open up and start having the conversations,just don't be surprised at what will pop out of her mouth while your driving down the parkway or highway. 

I think some of the best conversations I have had with my DD and some of her friends have been on the car rides that last a few hours. I have NEVER judged what they told me or offfer advice they weren't looking for. As a result I had a number of DD friends who would open up to me and look for advice.

AnnaMess
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:57 PM

The car thing works! I have done that with mine. Just let her know what you think is important. I told mine as a freshman this wasn't the time and that she needed to be careful. I also (don't hate) told her about protection and also the end results and posibilities including std's and pregnancy.

PinkButterfly66
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 11:01 PM

You could do what Lois did to Malcolm in the show Malcolm in the Middle.  She had the talk with him while they were on  a road trip and he had no place to escape.

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