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Moms with Teens Moms with Teens

Teens and Birthcontrol

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 11:04 PM
  • 23 Replies

Okay so I have a 17 and 15 yr old daughters. My 17 yr old is in a relationship and I've been contemplating the pill. I get the feeling that she isn't holding her v-card anymore, but I am not certain. What are your thoughts? Is it too soon? What is a good age? Should I have a chit-chat with her over it and see if she is ready for the pill? I'm stumped. I don't want to force her into it or subject her to something she is not ready for. I started the pill right after I had her. I just don't know what to do. And my 15yr old is hearing impaired and I don't know if I should talk to her about it for precaution. Should I?

*Edit*

Okay, I am getting a lot of questions like what does her hearing impairment have to do with it? and do I think that means she will never have sex? I'm not saying it won't happen. I am not a fan of bc in hs. I don't think that is the right time for any of it. But because she is hearing impaired, she is not always aware of her surroundings and she is beginning to venture out on her own. God forbid! something happen to her, I don't want the same thing to happen to her that happened to me. Therefore should I discuss the pill? It has nothing to do with whether or not someone will want to have sex with her. There are sick people in the world and I would hate for something to happen to her. Thanks!

by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GleekingOut
by Silver Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:07 AM

why does her hearing impairment matter? Does that  mean nobody will want to have sex with her? I'm confused as to the relavance. As to your older girl - I would've asked her the second the relationship got serious if it was something she needed. I would ask her if it's something that she needs, if she says yes; then get it, if she says no - tell her the doors always open if she changes  her mind. Legally you cannot force her into taking chemicals for her body without her consent.

bizzeemom2717
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:37 AM
1 mom liked this
My first thought is YIKES, what type of birth control is she using if she's sexually active? It is def time to talk to her about BC, honestly past but past is past. Just sit her down and talk to her honestly. She doesn't want to get pregnant or an STI! Also I agree with the pp as far as your 15 year old what does hearing impaired have to do with her ability to be sexually active. Yes talk to her now ASAP. I always keep the lines of communication open with my kids.
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atlmom2
by Susie on Oct. 10, 2013 at 8:14 AM
You should be talking to her all the time about sex and bc, yes. Mine were not sexually active in hs so no bc, just because. When my oldest was 19 I got her bc. My youngest has a boyfriend of 2 years and is 19. No bc yet. Told her again and again she can get the pill when she needs it. She said she will tell me. Her boyfriend is in the Marines and they rarely see each other.
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JackandJayne
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 1:53 PM
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You should try to get her to open up, first and foremost. That dialogue needs to be happening. Whether she realizes it or not she will need you. Try sharing some of your experiences, friends stories, your stories etc. Maybe some things you regret. In regards to BC, I see a lot of moms force it. I'm not a fan of hormonal BC, more so barrier methods. But really its her choice. Just be sure you go over the risks of hormonal birth control as many GPs do not and they get kickbacks from big pharma. And being hearing impaired shouldn't have anything to do with sex. Biggest point you want to ram through is STDs and STIs and the emotions that play into sexual relationships. I personally don't think HS is the right time to juggle sexual relationships, but that's another reason I'll keep that dialogue open. More than being ready for a pill, find out where she is at emotionally. Is she in love? If not, why is she having sex with this person? Is she pressured? Are all of her friends doing it? You should know this stuff. 

I want to also point out that school does not focus on ovulation much. You should educate them on luteal and follicular phases etc. so they can really take charge of their own sex life in the future without doctors throwing chemicals at them. Many HS girls are quite capable of knowing exactly when they are ovulating, but for some reason we stopped focusing on that. Time to guide them into womanhood momma! Good luck!

fammatthews4
by Trisha on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:01 PM

Personally I feel you should have started talking to her before she started dating.  If you think she is sexually active then talk to her ASAP, and yes get her on BC.  Start talking to your 15 yo now as well.

OHgirlinCA
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 2:04 PM
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 I would definately take them in and have a doctor talk to them about the different types of birth control available.  I wouldn't force them on it, but think it's a good idea to educate them and get them thinking about it.  Plus, if you take them, then they'll know that you are ok with them going on birth control and will be more apt to open up to you when they do decide they should need it.

drfink
by Emily on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:09 PM

 Oh my ,start talking with your 17 year old today about bc.Help her get what she needs ASAP ,remember STDs are still out there so condoms are a must .

Like the others I am not sure why your daughter that is hearing impaired doesn't need to know about sex and how to protect herself.I have a friend that's

 hearing impaired ,since birth ,she dated in high school and college and had sex with her bf way back then.

Niccalyn
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2013 at 3:34 PM

It's never a bad idea to have the conversation!  It is much better for her to be protected than to end up with an unplanned pregnancy.  I know it can be super-awkward but I find that if I just prepare a few questions and ask them at bedtime (I usually have to wait a few minutes to get my teens' phones away from them as they text their friends goodnight), they will usually open up and start talking.  Good luck!!

mumsy2three
by Shauna on Oct. 10, 2013 at 4:59 PM

I would continually discuss sex and birth control with both girls. If the oldest is currently sexually active I would discuss how important and what a must condoms are even if she is on another form of bc.

GarysWife1991
by on Oct. 10, 2013 at 6:16 PM

 I really think it needs to be an ongoing conversation about respect, consent and safety.  I'd definitely get her on bc and keep her supplied with condoms.  Let her know she can come to you with any issues or questions she may have. 

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